I'm 24 years old and can't stand living at home. My parents are consverative and strict. I'm at an age when I should be leaving home. I was a straight A student and have never done drugs or been pregnant. Why can't my parents understand that at 24 I want to grow up? Why don't they want me to ever leave home? I'm a mature adult and have a job and car. All I get is screaming and verbal abuse from them. Why is this?

So why don't you get your own place? Your not locked into a room? Or are you?

Once you do move out they will adjust, but the break away won't happen by just talking about it, you have to put the talk into actions.

I have no idea why your parents are fighting you over this, you know them best.

You're an adult as you say, so go do it, you can still be a good daughter living somewhere else, it might even improve the relationship.

Well 2 problems. I don't have a full time job. My supervisor only gives full time to her friends and family. No one else even gets considered, no matter how long you've been there.

I want to go back to school, but I don't know how to do this without moving out. I don't where to get the money from.

I've looked at options but there's either no housing where I could stay, during the coarse. Or I don't know where I'm going to get the money to rent and go to school.

Another option is to apply to a university very far away. I would like this very much.

They tell me that everyone lives at home until they're married. But I can't find 1 person who's done this! No one else in my family does this, so why are my parents like this? All my cousins my age have already left home and have children. I don't want to be over 30 and living at home, just because I have to be married just to do anything. I think that's ridiculious this day and age.

They verbally abuse me but I'm not allowed to do it to them.

Have you checked into grants for mature students?

Have you checked into grants for working abroad/ college, student exchange programme?

Look for a second job, a night class.

Fill your life with activities and friends, can you stay with a family member while studying, help out with children/ housework/rent while you study?

You always have options, you may have too dig a little deeper or research more but you always have options.

As for what your parents are saying,you can stand up for yourself but do not abuse back.

May I ask does your culture say you need to stay with your parents until your married? are they elderly?
Do they want you to stay at home to take care of them?

The issue is you want both, and you make excuses,

So this boss will not give you full time, change jobs, find one that will.

As for as college, why are you not going, at 24 you should be finished with it, if you wanted to go.

Its not going to change until you figure out a way to stand on your own, away from them.

That's what a mature adult does, makes their own way. Not enough money, or good enough job, or education, are not good excuses.

My parents aren't elderly or I'll, my dads just a verbally abusive control freak. We aren't religious or a mInority even. My dad just lives controlling people. His excuse is that his own Parents were like that. You ask me why I haven't gone to college. I feel lost and have made some mistakes. I've been trying to get some advice and I made a thread here about it. I've been trying to get advice, but have been sent going round in circles.

No one else in my extended family is like this at all. My dad looks down at my cousins because they had children young and out if wedlock. Yet braggs that he's more lenient even though all he does his swear his head off at me.

I have no idea why they do this to me. I'm a good person and have never done drugs or been pregnant.

My parents aren't elderly or I'll, my dads just a verbally abusive control freak. We aren't religious or a mInority even. My dad just lives controlling people. His excuse is that his own Parents were like that. You ask me why I haven't gone to college. I feel lost and have made some mistakes. I've been trying to get some advice and I made a thread here about it. I've been trying to get advice, but have been sent going round in circles.

He sounds overprotective, but its time to stop going around in circles, and charting your own life path, and pursue your own goals and dreams for yourself.

What would you do if you had a 24 year old daughter, who was having trouble with making goals, and you still had to support? What would you tell her?

Stop blaming Dad for you still being at home and dependent. He just doesn't want you pregnant, not married, and without a means to take care of yourself, and a child.

Even you can see that's the fear of EVERY father with a daughter! So get a plan for yourself! A career plan!

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Originally Posted by Merrywidow87

Well 2 problems. I dont have a full time job. My supervisor only gives full time to her friends and family. No one else even gets considered, no matter how long you've been there.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Merrywidow87

I've been trying to get advice, but have been sent going round in circles.

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Given the fact that this isn't your first time asking us for advice, and that, for whatever reason, you believe having a full-time job is a requirement to move out, it is clear to me that you spend more time making excuses than finding solutions.

1. Did you ask your supervisor for a full-time position, or did you assume you would get one based on seniority? If you asked, then ask again, keep asking her, show her that you want a full-time gig, not just that you feel you deserve it. And, while doing this, look for other jobs so you have a plan B if she won't budge.
2. For the time being, look for apartments within your current budget, I'm 100% certain you can find one... if you put in the effort. I was able to pay my share of rent, $437.50 to be exact, making $10/hour and working 20 hours a week, maximum.

Sh*t just doesn't happen, you need to take initiative if you want things to change.

If you are 24, why is it that you simply don't make the decision to move out of the house and start your own independent life. They will get the point eventually, why are you standing around and letting them control your life?

I was married at 24. Just saying. Also, I did live at home until I got married. Not because my parents demanded it, but because they allowed me to stay home, finish college, save money, so that we could buy a house when we married.

You're an adult. You either learn to stand on your own two feet, or you let your parents control you.

Stop making excuses. Your parents aren't the problem. You're not a prisoner, you're not a child. You can legally leave whenever you want. The fact that you haven't is on you, not your parents.

They can't keep you there if you want to leave.

So figure out what you want, stop making excuses, and do what you want with your life, sink or swim.

You're not a child. Stop acting like one.