Am I being emotianally abused?
I am currently 16, I am going to state all I can, so sorry if this is a long post, I just need advise.
I have grown up in a Christian home. I don't ever remember wanting to go to church. I tried to pretend I wanted to but I didn't. If I said I wasn't feeling up to church my parents would rant on about how I need to come and why I am not staying home. My parents used to 'smack' me and my brother, they said it was for the best, and when I said it was illegal and wrong they laughed at me. When I got a bit older I started going to youth group which I was pressured into by my parents. I wasn't aloud to watch movies if I stayed home, I just had to stay in my room.
I hated school so much in the primary years, I had horrible friends. My parents forced me to go even though I tried so hard to stay home. I used to pretend I was coughing so I could stay home. Yet when they found out I'd been pretending they still forced me to go to school.
Several years ago I did damage to my knee (I still don't know what), I couldn't walk properly and they still sent me school. My knee was swollen and very bruised as well. The teacher made me still do the laps around the oval, because she thought that since my parents sent me to school I was lying. I was never taken to a doctor.
They were the main things from when I was younger.
Just recently I have gone away from the religion. Dad told me he thought I had a demon inside of me, he told me my boyfriend was like my god, and my religion. He once held me down and started preying over me.
Every time dad is gone, mum acts differently she starts acting as though she is much superior to me. She yells at me, and calls me selfish when I simply need to be alone.
I'm terrified of going to hell. And my parents don't deny that I'm going to hell because I'm not Christian. Some nights I can't sleep because I wake up shaking and crying.
But then in the mix of all this my parents are always going on about how much they love me, and how I am their miracle. I'm confused, I don't understand them. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend told me that I might be able to move in with his family, he also said to talk to a physiatrist, but I'm still waiting for one to respond to me. I need help.