My boyfriend of three months sends me extravagant flower arrangements, brings me odd little gifts (cds and dried fruit?), and plans to see me basically every weekend. He even came to see me when I was really sick and didn't want him to come. He says he loves me. But he also is still going out with other women ("just friends") and even, I unfortunately discovered, trying to meet new ones. He failed to pay me back for an expensive weekend we took together that he asked for, I paid for and which he promised to share the expenses for. He makes several times what I do. When I express confusion about us, he gets upset and says, "Haven't I made my feelings clear?" Answer: no. He sometimes makes remarks that seem mildly hostile, except when he's talking romantic stuff that sounds like it's out of a bad movie. I don't mean to be critical, but it's so corny, I feel embarrassed. Like he's just feeding me lines, not really being himself. He also uses the same lines over and over, and I find myself assuming he's used them with other women. I think this is the part where he's making his feelings clear, but I find it hard to take him seriously when he talks like that. Then I feel guilty for not taking him seriously.
He can be very intimate, genuine, kind and sweet. He's fun to talk to, but he'll switch over to remote or fake sounding in a second, and I have caught him in some definite lies. He described himself as cheerful and upbeat, but later told me that he is on an antidepressant without which he's completely dsyfunctional and that he lost a job because of his procrastination. He waited a long time to tell me about this and said he was worried I would dump him. He said he was so relieved that I wasn't upset. He also said his wife left him because of his procrastination, but it sounded to me more like it was because he lied to her about some pretty important things. Our sex life is great, but he often mentions how "experienced" I am compared to him, which I'm not. It makes me feel kind of slutty when he says that and it's not true. When I asked him why he had this image of me, if it was something I said, he sounded offended and put out by my asking, and basically said, "so okay, you're not." That didn't really explain anything to me. When it's good with us it's great, but I find myself tired and confused a lot. What's going on in this guy's head?
