My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. And we have a 6 month old son. His mother and I have never had a great relationship.. ( just tallorable). He moved in with me against his parents and we ended up being pregnant. Time she found out, she started planning our wedding.. even the day and honeymoon! They plan things together with out even telling me till the day of the event. Since we have been dating my MIL always happens to bring up his ex. GF and how in love they were,when it is just us together. I work with her too and she is always telling my boss things that get me called into her office.. for instance my tattoo! Since we have been together I am not allowed to hang out with my friends or FAMILY cause he feels left out, but his friends practically live with us during the week and they go out every weekend. Here recently though he has done nothing but chewed me out and pushed me away. Then my MIL told me that he wasn't comfortable in our house because it isn't as clean as hers!! And as his wife it is my responsibility.. I don't understand how its my job, when we both have full time jobs and I can't get any help with our son or even taking the trash out!! FED-UP

I know that is bull crap.. well you know I think its about... trying to get him used to you... and forget about what his mother does. For instance I try to do some of the things his mom tells me so he does not feel so out of place but I still hate her attitude too
So nosy... I guess they just want to help but they screw up...
My friend told me we should have fights about ourselves and not other people. Well you have a lot patience to put up with them

My honest advice is that you first of all separate all of the issues and not lump them together because when you do, it's pretty hard for him to unlump them and make any progress in your marriage, which makes it impossible for things to get better for you.

Then, think for a long while before you complain about any of this and figure out what specifically isn't working, and what would make things better. When you go through this thought process be mindful that marriage is supposed to be for life- his mother is important to him and your goal should be to get along with her and make her feel good about your marriage, as well as finding a way to enjoy having her as part of your family (I know, sounds impossible but it probably isn't).

Some specific things you can do that might get her off your back and on your side would be to disarm her a bit when she criticizes you. For example, if she says, "he doesn't want to be there because your house is messy", even though it's a pissy thing to say, just agree with her and respond, "Oh, I know...it's a struggle to manage the baby and work and also keep the place nice. How did you balance everything?" If she answers with an insult like "I just got my A%% off the couch once in a blue moon"... just respond, "I'm interested in your constructive advise but please don't insult me...we need to find a way to get along".

Some of the other stuff is concerning. There's no reason a young couple with a new baby needs extra people hanging around all week, nor for the father of a new baby to be hitting the bars. You need to talk to your husband and set some parameters. For example, that on work nights, you don't want to have company and would preffer to start some family routines - meals as a family, bedtime for the baby, and so on.

And if either of you is getting drunk on a regular basis, all bets are off for a successful marriage. Drunks aren't good spouses, and can't pretend to be. They aren't good parents, either. It just doesn't work. Marriage and parenting require people who are more mature than that.

How do you nnot let his mother control him? I agree of getting a long but sometimes mothers have a power over them and will do anyting to get what they want. How do u make her see woman is first?

Its just sad how mothers in law butt in...


The most important things is yoour husband though...
I tell that to my husband too to go marry his mother LOL since she does not have a husband LOl but now he is kinds changing as we talk everyday...
I have to constantly tell him but u are right the tone of voice matters... a lot..

So, you married a mommas boy. You sure as heck did not just happen on this revelation last week. You had to have known the problem long before you moved in together. If you want to get things straight. Move about 2000 miles away from his parents. Or get some professional help for yourself and him to break the apron strings.

LOL for sure.. yeah he is LOL but I'm trying to turn him around even if it makes me seem the controlling one. I have to.. now everyone hates me in his family cause I'm making him please me... She's so ungrateful even one hundred dolars would not do it... shes so stupidly unreasonable. He can't pay rent like if he lived there.. like OH MY GOSH and her daughters are against me! I'm taking control whether they like it or not! Thank you for responding

We can't move 2000 miles away.. I mean I do not want to separate them completely. If she needs a favor like moving stuff or some other thing, I want him to be there for her... Im not that cruel LOL... just want him to know who is first and for them to learn their place and work..


She judges me becaues I work and try to be a wife.. so she says she will not work so she can keep her house clean! Land be with church firendsl... LIKE oh my goshh.. what a FREAK! LOL I love her its just stresssful... Oh well.. Thank you for your support. :)

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Originally Posted by adrianachago

LOL for sure.. yeah he is LOL but im trying to turn him around even if it makes me seem the controlling one. I have to.. now everyone hates me in his family cause im making him please me... Shes so ungrateful even one hundred dolars would not do it ...shes so stupidly unreasonable. He can't pay rent like if he lived there..like OH MY GOSH and her daughters are against me! im taking control whether they like it or not! thank you for responding

we can't move 2000 miles away..I mean i do not want to separate them completely. If she needs a favor like moving stuff or some other thing, I want him to be there for her...Im not that cruel LOL...just want him to know who is first and for them to learn their place and work..


She judges me becaues I work and try to be a wife.. so she says she will not work so she can keep her house clean!! land be with church firendsl...LIKE oh my goshh.. what a FREAK!! LOL I love her its just stresssful..... Oh well.. Thank you for ur support. :)

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450 Donn's post was most likely directed to the original poster, not you.

If you need help with your situation then please start your own thread, do not hijack someone else's.

Thank you.

Sorry okay sorry cas

Just curious, but have you mentioned to this dull lightbulb you are married to two defining thoughts:

1) You are not his mom and have no intention of becoming his mom. You are his wife for the present time.

2) If mom is so wonderful, go home and stay there! You are a complicated female. As such he needs to devote his time to you, not mom.

Accept it or move on... she won't change... I am speaking from personal experience.