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-   -   I kissed a friend I'm not attracted to... now what? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=551736)

  • Feb 5, 2011, 10:21 PM
    Spontaneouslemon
    I kissed a friend I'm not attracted to... now what?
    I went to a party last night with a friend of mine. We became friends through my best friend, so our friendship is fairly new. Anyway, after the party I dropped him off home but before he left, he asked if he could kiss me as he was leaning in. So I kissed him. Or, well he kissed me and I took it. Then we talked some more and he kissed me twice more then left.
    The problem is that I'm not in any way attracted to him. I'm not sure why I kissed him, I think I just didn't want to reject him. And maybe a little curious. Anyway, I didn't think it was that big of a deal until my friend made it sound like it was and I needed to say something about it. He asked me to hang out again next week, but I don't know if he means it as just a friend or if he's expecting us to hook up again... We've been texting each other so I'm thinking if I tell him anything it would be through text. Would it be rude for me to bring it up that way? Also what would I say? "Look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea"? I just don't want him to feel bad about it, or make it awkward for the next time we hang out...

    Thoughts?
  • Feb 5, 2011, 10:53 PM
    joypulv
    I don't really feel like hanging out, even though you are a nice person and I enjoyed getting to know you, but I am attracted to a different sort of guy. You are a good kisser and good looking, just not for me. I'll be happy to remain friends.

    Not in those exact words, but as long as he gets the idea that he didn't do anything wrong. (It's tough to be rejected, but the sooner the better. And if he's a friend of your best friend, it helps to be nice but clear.)
  • Feb 6, 2011, 01:54 AM
    adviceishere
    Comment on joypulv's post
    Couldn't have said it better myself
  • Feb 6, 2011, 02:37 PM
    I wish

    I think it's fair to you were curious and wanted to see how the kiss would go. But now that you've satisfied your curiosity and sure that you're not attracted to him, then it's time to tell him the truth so that you don't lead him on further.

    He's obviously going to think that you're attracted to him too, so better put a stop to this so that it doesn't get any deeper.
  • Feb 7, 2011, 02:20 PM
    Devorameira

    You really got to tell him that you're not interested in a relationship, otherwise he'll keep holding out hope.

    Be gentle and let him down easily. There's no need to be brutal. Just tell him that even though he's a great person to be around, that you don't feel that sort of connection with him. Just keep the text short and sweet.
  • Feb 7, 2011, 02:30 PM
    Enigma1999

    You can always tell him that you enjoy his company, but you just don't see him in that light... that you still would like to be friends.

    Hey and kudos to you for trying out a kiss to see if there is chemistry. You found that there isn't, so now be honest and tell him...

    Good Luck.
  • Feb 10, 2011, 09:58 PM
    Spontaneouslemon
    You guys are right, I should talk to him. Thanks!

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