Can't forgive myself.feel like dying
I'm a 19 year old male, have a wonderful life, and have the greatest girlfriend anyone could ever ask for... yet I can't seem to let go of something I did in the past... it's making me miserable. When I was 14, I had a same-sex experience. I never felt too bad about it. Although I felt disgusted shortly after the incident, I realized I made a mistake and never wished to relive that experience ever again in any way, shape, or form. I never dwelled on it. But now, almost five years down the road, I can't get it out of my mind. I feel terrible and guilty. I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that I have finally found love for the first time in my life. I cannot tell her what I did. It would ruin the perfection between us. But I don't know what I can do to get the incident out of my mind. It has been haunting me for almost a straight month now... ever since I realized that I was actually falling in love with my girlfriend. I have no clue what to do...