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I have been going out with this guy for 4 months now.He recently told me that he has a girlfriend and he won't leave her.This really hurt me because I really love him.He says he loves me and wants to be with me.Now his ignoring my calls and smses.

He's in a relationship with someone else.

Either he is cheating on you, or cheating on her.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with only you?

Don't be the sweet frosting on his stale relationship cake.

You're worth more than that.

It's not about "Understanding men" because not all men are cheaters.

You have been going out with him for 4 months and you just now realized he has a girlfriend? You guys must not of have much of a relationship to start with...

At any rate, dude is a complete cheater and you are better off without him.

We don't all cheat, so don't try to understand men.
I've learned I can't understand women

You deserve better than to be treated as someone's 2nd place prize, you're worth first place!

Keep telling yourself that

There's nothing to understand. He's either cheating on you or cheating on her.

If he's ignoring you, it means he's not interested.

STAY AWAY from cheaters.

If he is ignoring you and he has a girlfriend than he is making it rather clear that he is no longer interested in being with you.
He has made a choice.
You deserve better than a cheater as chances are he would do the same to you.
Honor yourself and never allow anyone to do less.

Don't try to understand him, or men, or women, or anyone other than one person - yourself. Figure out what you want from yourself, and what you want from a significant other. If this guy can't give you what you want (protip - he can't, but you'll have to learn that on your own), then realize that you can find someone who will.

~ Tee

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Audette

He recently told me that he has a girlfriend and he wont leave her.

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Apparently, he loves her more and decided to turn his back on you. GF might have found out about you.

You don't deserve this, forget what happened to you and find someone else.
Who won't just use you.

Let it go.

You've only known him for 4 months and he turned out to be an a***hole, a user and a cheat.

Do yourself a favour - delete all his contact details from your life.

Aren't you better off without him?

The only thing I can add after all these excellent posts is to first love yourself before you can even think about loving someone else. That's what seems to be lacking here. Self-respect and self-love.

Believe that you deserve more and you will get more.

If he's ignoring you, it's for the best for YOU. Don't ever talk to him again, no texts, emails, nothing. It's been 4 months, you'll get over this before you know it.

If he wants to take you back, back off fast. He will cheat on you, it's just a matter of time. You deserve a person that puts the same amount of love and effort as you do.

Mkay.

Fine.

Does she know about you two? Why not? Isn't honestly important to him?

Sorry... tried to say that with a straight face. Couldn't do it.

Sorry you are here. You can love a jackarse. It happens.

But really... what do you want us to say? If HE cannot come up with the pair to man up... to be the man I hope you expect him to be... then I'm at a loss.

Unless you are content with being with a "great guy" who is really with another woman, who has manipulated you and lied from day one, there's just not much to say other than "pack your things and leave NOW"

And maybe leave a shoe crammed up his arse.

If you are content being with such a manipulator... well, I'm still not going to help figure out how to keep him.

He was never yours. Ever.

Wish I could meet him in a dark alley...

You will be much happier staying away from cheaters. Good riddance.

Thanks guyz for the advise.It means a lot but am I wrong 4 wanting 2 know if its really over?

Really?

Did it ever really start?

Don't know what to say to make it more clear...

He is not with you.

Period.

If that is OK, fine. You are an adult. You get to choose.

It is over so why do you need reassurance from him. You should want it to be over and shouldn't want anything to do with him since he has a girl.

I am surprise he told you this. It is better he told you this then his girlfriend seeing the two of you together. That could have been an ugly situation and some women tends to get mad at the female then their boyfriend.

Anything you do with this guy from this point on is your fault. I don't want to see a future thread from you saying "why won't he leave his girlfriend". Please don't and move on.

It's over. Be grafeful, it was only 4 months and not 4 years.

Not only be grateful it was 4 months not 4 years, be grateful:

Grateful that: No child was brought into this one-sided relationship... Think of fighting some guy later on down the road when he is married and they decide THEY want your child to raise and will do ANYthing to prove you unfit. Even if you are a wonderful perfectly fit mommy. The money to fight (thousands), and stress it can cause in your life (unbelieveable) and time (can take a good couple years to deal with in court).

Be grateful: You did not contract a STD that you can't get rid of by some guy who cheats on his girlfriend. You probably aren't the first he cheated with.

Be grateful: You have gotten away with a broken heart that will heal. You have learned something, look back and see if there were any signs. Did he keep his cell phone on lockdown? Any signs he was not totally being honest? Look for the signs, and just be aware in the future. Not obsessive and completely untrusting by any means, just learn your lesson.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!

He is not worth it. You didn't loose anything. You actually gained. Whoever he's with is the one who looses.

Count your blessings girl!! Move on and move up!!

There are many good men in the world, as some one said earlier, not all are cheaters!