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-   -   Confused about possible friend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=829039)

  • Nov 28, 2016, 04:55 PM
    foreverromantic
    Confused about possible friend
    I am an active senior and like to do many things, volunteer, out to dinner/lunch with friends, movies, art festivals, etc.
    I also walk for health reasons and last year I met a lady walking a small, cute dog and we got talking. Thereafter, we found out we liked the same movies and went to a few... but sometime after that she kept finding excuses not to go. When I walk with her (once a week), I bring her info on activities all over our area which are fun; thinking she may be interested.
    I even attend a University one day a week and asked the Instructor if he would allow her to visit one day for free. I told her about this two months prior. She kept saying she would reply to the instructor and let me know. I was doing this for HER to see if she would like to join also. She kept me hanging about this until a day prior... then told me some excuse about she "could not go". Everything I suggest to her she takes the info and never does anything about it. I have other friends, but I can't understand this person very well. It appears to me she does not want to do anything except "walk her dog". She seems to have a life revolving around her pet. I love the little dog too, but life is short and so many lovely things to get involved in... I wanted to show her but she does not seem at all interested. This person was a teacher at one time. I love going out to dine and do not really care nor am concerned about what I spend. She does not want to spend 2 cents and I know she could.
    What does this look like to you. Also, she never calls me I am always the one who calls her, although rarely.
    Please advise. Thanks very much. A Miami, Fl. Resident.
  • Nov 28, 2016, 04:58 PM
    tickle
    She doesn't appear to be interested in you. You should not be so assertive with her. Could be she finds you too forward.
  • Nov 28, 2016, 05:31 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    A pet is often treated and loved the same way children are. And this is often esp true with many seniors. I would say you are being pushy, esp with the college class thing, telling her in advance and so on.
  • Nov 28, 2016, 05:32 PM
    joypulv
    You do sound like you expect her to like what you like, and don't understand when she doesn't. This sounds like a friendship that isn't going to happen.
    I for one do not like to spend money on restaurants more than about 3 times a year, even though I can afford to. I could go on and on about differences. They are what they are. No right or wrong.

    She may be someone who doesn't like confrontation when she isn't interested in the information you give her.
    I would suggest trying to go at least 2 months just saying hi and seeing what happens.
    (And you don't have to love her dog...)
  • Nov 28, 2016, 09:54 PM
    talaniman
    For whatever reason that only she knows, she doesn't like your suggestions. Maybe she isn't that into you, or what you suggest, but why be confused when you can ask directly about this whole thing.

    My guess is she is quite content with the way things are, and wants no changes to the occasional walks, and dinners routine.

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