Entire story merged

Are their any sure fire ways or methods in getting your ex love back?

There's one chance. DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and if he comes back then he still wants you if he doesn't then he doesn't want you. Try anything else and your waisting your time!!

It's that simple and you probably won't even believe it but its true, if he wants you he will let you know, don't ever contact him again...

My boyfriend left me a week ago today. I called him and begged him to come back on Wednesday and again on Friday but haven't contacted him since... DID I BLOW IT?

You know what I don't get though. Ok, what if she does come back but after she has been with other guys? This is my worry in my current situation, that she might come back after but after she has met other guys. I actually wrote her an email saying that I don't want her to ever tell me she wants me back even if she does. Maybe I have depleted my chances of her ever coming back when she does feel so, but on the other hand if she strongly feels she wants back she will not care about the email and beg for it. Then again my ex has such a personality, where she would not let her emtions do as she they tell her and instead she will stay strong and not ask me back just for her own sake of not feeling stupid. And to be honest I probably will accept her back, given she has not been with other guys cause that is just bull in my opinion. And to be honest my perception of her after having been with other guys will be just that I am her plan B, more so than I was her Plan A but she just needed time away from me to reflect, regardless of the fact she doesn't want me anymore and tells me she wants to experience other people. It could be so many things, I sometimes think I am more confused than her. Oh, does anybody have any tips on how to sleep without the girl propping up in your mind. Last night I couldn't stop thinking of her having flash backs of good times. I even woke up and walked around my room looking for her. So pathetic. Oh and one more question, people say you should not get back with your ex after she has been with other guys. Well, should the ex know that you will never get back with her after she has been with other guys? My ex is under the impression after she has met other guys and might have figured out that I was really the one for her that she might come back to me. I would consider it but not under the condition she met other guys. I guess she is most likely to meet other guys, so I shouldn't even think about her even daring asking me back again and that is why the chances are so slim that people get back with their ex. So complicated... the funny thing is, when I read what Im writing above, it just shows how I am having hopes when in reality that is the worst possible thing I could be doing to myself. The irony.

My guy and I were together for 7 years. He was totally devoted and loving. In that 7 years that didn't change. He was wonderful to me. He left me last week and I have yet to get a straight answer as to why he left. He doesn't call or try to contact me at all. Should I hold out hope he will ever come home?

>THREE threads merged as they are all the same issue<

My boyfriend of 7 years left me suddenly out of the blue. Their were no warning signs that he wanted out. He was as loving the day before he left as he had always been. How can someone be loving and devoted for all those years and then just POOF they're gone.

Are you sure he wasn't unhappy and he was just putting up an act?

Firstly, how long has it been since he left you?
Secondly, what reasons did he give you for leaving?

He may be back in your life again soon. Its not over until its over. I've seen people get back together after months of being a part.

Sounds like there must have been a lot of underlying issues that were going on without you knowing. It is strange that he was loving one day and the next day he wanted out; life is truly a mystery. What were his reasons for leaving?

You never know what's going on in the other person's mind. Don't contemplate too much, it will drive you crazy. It's sure is sad that he left without letting you know what was going on, but in a way good too. You know why? Because he was a coward and you sure don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone who would want to come and go as they please. Damn 7 yrs.. a bit too much... but let it be an experience for you to know that No One person stays with you forever... live the moments. I am sure you enjoyed some moments with him... cherish them and go on with your life. To hell with someone who didn't care enough to hv open conversation with you... learn from it.

I was wondering, in everyone's personal opinions. What seems to be the most successful tactic in order to reconcile with an ex

The best tactic is to not be available and have no contact for a while. Even then it doesn't guarantee that they will come back. I've said it before and I'll say it here again you broke up a reason and unless both people in the relationship are willing to address those reasons it won't happen. With that being said, I hope it works for you.

By reconcile what do you mean? And explain your situation.

Are you talking about being friends. Are you talking about trying to get him back?

Why did you break up? How old? How long together? Explain.

But a general trend has been mentioned already... most of the time when a break occurs it's the end of that part of the relationship. Yes... sometimes people can reconcile. But its rare and I don't think there is any perfect "system".

Addressing the issues that prevented the relationship from moving forward is the first step toward understanding what "went wrong"... even though sometimes its just the match that's wrong, at least longer term.

So more details can help. No perfect system.

Back off, let them contact you and from there on out it's everything on your terms, not theirs.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

but a general trend has been mentioned already... most of the time when a break occurs its the end of that part of the relationship. yes... sometimes people can reconcile. but its rare and i dont think there is any perfect "system".

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I don't know if I would say it's "rare." In fact, I think it happens more than people think, it's just that we don't hear about it. Remember, people don't come to sites like this when things are good.

Also, I think many times relationships end up having a chance for reconciliation but then one party or another decides that it's no longer what they want.

As for the system, I totally agree, no perfect system or set of actions. No instruction book, so to speak. It's completely reliant on the people involved, their personalities, the situation of the relationship, etc etc.

If there were really no warning signs then it's hard for us to give you an answer. You're best bet may be to talk directly to him. If you do, be prepared for a possible runaround but I really can't give you an opinion. It seems most unusual that he'd invest 7 years in a relationship that evidently seemed satisfactory then just up and go without any warning whatsoever. Are you sure there's something you're not telling us here?

I think rare is perfect. Name all your friends. All of them. Since you were in HS and on. How many of them broke up with someone and never got back together? And then dated again and broke up and never got back together? And then ones that did get back together, how many of those lasted?

In my experience, I know of only two different people who dated, broke up with the partner, and some time later dated again and made it last. One of them was after divorcing, of all things. Considering how many people I've known through the years, that's not very many.

So yeah, rare is what ill say. If we are talking about yo-yoing back into the sack with an ex or trying again and failing, sure it happens more often. I'm guessing she's wanting this not to be a fling or another failed attempt.

You can choose to compare like that, however I would never compare what happened in high school to real life. Teenagers are not what you want to base your idea of relationships off.

Really? This is where this is going?

OK. Forget HS. Forget college. Even though we don't know whether this person is in hs, college, grade school, or beyond... so it might, just might, matter...

Of all the people I know from work and other social circles in my adult life, I know of two who have made it.

Do I really need to keep justifying my position? I think its rare. You don't. We agree we don't agree. Most people I know don't get back together with the ex. To me that means few people do. And fewer make it work.

Never said doesn't or impossible.

Know what, I give up on this one. You win. Choose the word I should use and post my opinion for me. Will save me the time and not distract from the original post.

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y'all ignore my noise today. I'm b!tching at anyone and everyone it seems. Mama said thered be days like this
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