My girlfriend of 14 months broke up with me over 2 weeks ago. I am not getting into the reason why- but she was very confused and regretted doing it. The weekend after she broke up with me she had sex 3 times with her friend... After she broke up with me he woke up and realized he liked her and made it known- and of course my girlfriend got all excited cause someone liked her and so she felt a strong connection. My ex's best friend brought this guy into her group of friends cause she met him at a college night class. I am 22- my ex is 21 and this guy is 28, almost 29 and it freaks me out she slept with someone that old.

During the week after the break up I did No Contact- but she kept texting me late at night telling me she loves me and is confused... cause she didn't know what she wanted- her friends telling her to leave me, her family telling her to stay, she wasn't listening to her heart. WE ended up hanging out 3 days in a row- on one occasion having sex- and then she kept saying she wants to be with me but is just confused. We talked briefly everyday after that- but 18 days after we break up she is dating this Kevin guy- who he himself a couple months ago just got out of a 3 year relationship. My ex says she did not leave me for him, she just said there is a strong connection and she can't ignore it- and she wants to be friends with me and to know that I will always be in her heart... blah blah -

But she had the decently to tell me she is dating this guy now ( nothing official) and all I told her is that I am happy for her if she is truly happy cause I care for her and told her to know that I am always here for her.

So I am moving on with my life... but is this a clear sign of a rebound? I am vanishing myself from her life and if she contacts me again she will. Everyone is telling me what she has right now won't last and she will be running back to me in the end... but I don't know

I forgot to mention my ex tells me she has been looking at my Facebook everyday to see what I am up to- so to me it shows she does still care about me...

Why are you so involved and caught up in her life?. you want her back? Why? You yourself mentioned she was confused! How about just getting on with your life instead of trying to figure out the actions of a confused person.
At best you're in the friends zone... you're hurting while she's out there having fun and dating other guys. She may come back... when she's bored, when she needs a shoulder to cry on and a quick roll in the hay to make HER feel better (OK , well maybe she's not like that :-P )... point is, she's not just going to run back into your arms and everything will be OK... remember, the two of you broke up for a reason!
I would stay out of her life in every way and keep it like that, get my head back together and spend my time on more meaningful/valuable pursuits... someone not so confused..

I am only "caught" up cause I know there is a small window for an ex to still have feelings for you and if by dropping out of her life- will help her realize what she is losing then that is what I am planning on doing- I have been moving on and going out and living my life- I was at that stage of sitting around depressed but I always stay optimistic in life and hope that one day she might come back - for now we are on different paths...

Go NC.
Get off Facebook.

The less drama, the better.

And don't have false hopes.

If she really wanted you, she would be with you. Running back to you? I wouldn't let her.

Move on. There's better things ahead.

I would say she had her rebound with her weekend friend... then jumped back to you for 3 days(that was your chance)... now she's dating this Kevin guy and

Quote:

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she wants to be friends with me and to know that I will awlays be in her heart... blah blah -

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.. so as you see yes, girlfriends do rebound back to you and the vast majority of the time it never lasts. The problems that existed before you broke up are still there and they are never easily fixed... easier for many to move on to other people.

Well when you say " my chance" I did absolutely nothing wrong those 3 hangouts and things seemed to be fine- I think she is just caught up in the idea someone else likes her right now and went for it... She obviously still thinks about me seeing wondering what I am up to and still wears shirts I bought her and uses things I gave her- so that to me counts you know that feelings are always still there?

Are you crazy? This is in no way a rebound! She dumped you to screw him, and she is still screwing him, while she keeps you on the sidelines, waiting to get back in the game.

Rebound?? Naw guy, you are being played for a fool, and being fed crap by this player. Confused?? She ain't, but you are.

When you get dumped, you disappear, and do your thing. Not sit around waiting for her to finish getting her freak on with an ex.

At least she dumped you first, and all you have to do is be smart enough to disappear, and have no more to do with her.

The fact that you did nothing wrong during those 3 hangouts and the fact that she moved on to another guy should tell you something, no?

Just because she hangs out with you(for 3 whole days), wears clothes and uses things you bought her really doesn't mean anything other than you're in the friends zone and an option.

Does she think of you... sure she does BUT it hardly means that she is motivated enough to get back together with you in hopes of having a meaningful happy relationship... her actions clearly point that out.

As Vanheart stated, if she wanted you she would be with you- it really is that simple.

Look- I am not standing up for her- but seriously she never had any interest in this guy during our 14 months at all I can promise you that- she told me she screwed him because she was trying to force herself to get over me but she realized it was wrong of her- like I said until this guy told her he had interest of course a confused upset girl will cling to some new attraction to her...

Im sure you've heard the phrase "Having your cake & eating it too" ?

Well she's got cake, you don't.

This sooner you stop listening to her & start looking at her actions, the better.

Forget her.

"a confused upset girl will cling to some new attraction to her..."

She knew exactly what she was doing. Stop tripping.

NC.

Yeah I know you guys are right- but I am moving on now- living my life- and if she contacts me again in some point she does... if not then she doesn't. It doesn't hurt to be optimistic cause you never know what can happen in the future- yeah I am not waiting around until she contacts me- I will still always care for her just as she will always care for me -

And yes I am in the No Contact mode

NC means NEVER responding.

Just so you know.

Disappear from her.

Vanheart- I get that - but how will I know if she is ever interested again and wants to try things out again? Doesn't time heal all? That's what everyone says- give it time

Oh & BTW,

Dumping you & screwing some other guy isn't exactly "caring" for you.

"just as she will always care for me"

You got it all wrong.

Its over for good. Put that in the top of your brain.

Forget her. NC, for good.

Once you come to that realization, you will be able to move on.

NC will help tons. Seriously. No FB, no gossip, no false hopes.

All of that will only make your life worse.

Face facts. It happens to the best of us, for whatever reasons.

That's all in the past. Live your life like before you met her.

But better.

OK your right vanheart

Threads have been merged together.



I am embarrassed typing this- I am 22 years old- just got dumped by my ex girlfriend of 14 months- I was talking with her since the beginning of December 2009- and since then we been either talking/ then dating/ then official.

I am trying to move on and people keep telling me that I need to just get things together and move on with my life. Its been about 3 weeks since she dumped me. My problem is to move forward, I am trying to look backward, and remember who the person I was before I met my ex.

Sure I know what my interests are, and hobbies, and group of friends. But after being single my whole life, and then finally getting into a serious relationship, I forgot who I am.

Anyone felt this way before? Any suggestions, or some advice?

Thanks


Edited/T

And just to add while it does not matter 29 is not "that old"

I agree.

Doesn't matter what age.

Build some character here. You will thank yourself later.

It's time. Show her (& yourself) who's boss. #1

This won't be your last heartbreak..