Is the man a chancer or just confused and hedging his bets ?
A recent male friend of mine whom I have known as in he's been at funerals, parties, out socially for last 10 years and I have spoken to and danced with became a bit friendlier in terms of we swapped numbers, he telephoned and text most days for hours on end and we shared fun and banter and he asked how my day was going and how spanish lessons were etc, then it got onto sexual innuendo and wanting me to go on whatsapp and send pictures which I refused.
We weren't having sexual intercourse, but it happened a week before it split after 2 months but was not very successful. He stayed over a lot in the last 2 and half months and came for a cup of coffee in the day, we had a bath together but I wouldn't go the whole hog as he hadn't long been split with his ex July August who gave him an ultimatum that he move in with her out of town and he didn't want to as has his son living with him in his own town. Despite this she was still in contact and appeared to confuse him by saying she thought it was a kneejerk reaction on her part and she shouldn't have done it. This sent alarm bells ringing and I let him know that I didn't want to get attached to someone on the rebound.
He ignored me and kept contacting me. We carried on and went out a couple of times for a drink and a meal and we were going to go dog walking down the beach next. But 2 weeks ago she went to see him to talk whilst I was at hospital having a mole removed from my nipple which I had been worried about . I also was on antibiotics for cystitis due to the sexual encounter so a bit run down. He was away for the weekend and I never involved him with taking me to hospital so I drove there and got taxi back. He sent a text saying he would be thinking of me, then 2 hours following the text he said he hope all went well and thought it best to be honest but his ex had been in touch that day and wanted to talk and he would text me when she went home. I never heard, so that night I had bit of pain for 4 hours keeping me awake and thought it was obvious she had stayed over.
Next day he text to ask how I was but didn't text later that night as usual. I didn't need to ask but I did and asked what the upshot of the talk was and to be straight and just tell me were they back together. He said they were discussing it and couldn't talk now as his head was f... and would speak as and when. Next day he came and we talked and I asked if they had spent the night together and he said yes but only kissed!! I was pragmatic and said that was it then. He didn't want to go, said he would miss me and wanted to stay the night and go and get a bottle of wine, but I sent him on his way and have had no contact since until he text me on Monday morning at 8am saying morning, how are you, how is your chest, nice picture of you on Facebook with Barry, (age 72, my friend) wink wink. I didn't answer.
What's his game? Is he wanting his cake and eat? Was it just a friendly text? Did I do right ignoring or should I have answered brief fine thanks? I'm starting a top job soon and need to stay focused and despite not knowing him long it's hurt me as in he didn't give me much respect. Says to take it slowly and not highlight things in my town in case it went wrong, not keen on going out, but said he wasn't just after sex and if he was he'd have given up after two months. Said that he hopes he hasn't cocked up.. and if it goes wrong I might be with someone else by then.
They split once before too due to her not moving in with him when she said she would. He never told her about me so don't know her reasons for being back. What's his game if that isn't obvious, he says he wasn't cheating on her or me.