I feel as though my life, up until about 4 years ago was very depressing, and hardly worth living. I used to cut myself, and even plotted suicide at one point. Then, I began dating the man of my dreams. He has become my everything, and our relationship is so beautiful. We got married a few months ago, and I started going to school for a computer science. Which, by the way, took forever for me to decide on. I enjoy my life now, more than ever before, and I really don't know how much happier I can be.
Now, because I have so much to live for, I fear something bad's going to happen. Like, I'm going to die, or he will. It started as a simple thought, which led to me being sad about it. Now, it's to the point where I literally feel as though I am going to live a short life. When people talk about the future, I literally think to myself that I won't be there. And now, recently, it's gotten to the point where a sound, a feeling or anything will cause me to imagine a death that starts this way. For example, I was driving the other day, and I felt a vibration on the back of my head when I was laying my head on the seat, I literally imagined that I had a tumor erupting in my brain that would make me lose my vision and I would lose control of the car, crash and die. Also, when the whole tsunami happened in Japan, we got warnings here (in California , channel island area). Well, my husband works like 50 feet from the ocean, and all I could think about all day was how he would die from a tsunami. It was that day that I decided to make a promise with him that if anything were to ever happen to either one of us, that the other would take that pain and work twice as hard to advance technology and make a better tomorrow. This helps, but I can't stop my imagination. I'm pretty sure I also have nightmare disorder due to the vivid nightmares I have almost every night. This is just saying that my imagination can be very annoying.

I've also decided, no matter what, I will fight it. I'll be like that patient with so many injuries that the doctor won't believe how I survived it. That's kind of how I've always been.

I just need a way to get a handle on my wild imagination. Any advice will be helpful. Thanks!

Have you been seen by a Physician for this problem? Diagnosed?

It is time for professional help. It appears it is starting or already effecting your daily life. In fact many people ( like myself) prefer to live each day like it may be our last, to leave life to the fullness.

Thanks for the answers. I am going to seek a professionals help soon. I do feel as though I live my life to the fullest everyday, and I enjoy every minute of it! The only thing is, I haven't reached my career goals, and I work so hard to get there, so it sort of adds tension..

And I have not been diagnosed with Nightmare disorder, but I do have nightmares on average of 4-5 times a week, and have since I was little.