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-   -   Activity ideas for hospice patients (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=198520)

  • Mar 25, 2008, 12:09 PM
    mafiaangel180
    Activity ideas for hospice patients
    I've been volunteering at a hospice since January. Typically, the people we spend time with have less than 6 months to live. The first lady I went to visit really didn't have a use for me I guess. To be quite honest, she appeared in good shape and seemed pretty independent for 93. I honestly couldn't believe she was a hospice patient. At the time we agreed to make Valentines. I got all the stuff, then she told me no and that she didn't want to make them. She also said she didn't want me to read to her. She is a really sweet lady, but didn't even talk much. I kind of felt useless in that situation. So the coordinator re-assigned me to another lady, who was weeks from her death bed. This lady wanted me to read to her, sit with her, talk with her, be there 24/7. I truly felt like I was of use. She has since passed away, and now they are re-assigning me to the first lady again.

    I have no clue what kinds of things I should do with her! She seems uninterested. Does anyone have any ideas of what we could do? I'm OK with conversation, but I suck at small talk. Any ice breaker ideas? She isn't really chatty. I might go today after work, and I'm very nervous.
  • Mar 25, 2008, 12:44 PM
    firmbeliever
    Does she have pictures with her?An album perhaps.
    Maybe you could suggest the idea of making a scrapbook of her photos to be left as a keepsake for whoever is in this world after she is gone.
  • Mar 26, 2008, 05:43 AM
    mafiaangel180
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by firmbeliever
    Does she have pictures with her?An album perhaps.
    Maybe you could suggest the idea of making a scrapbook of her photos to be left as a keepsake for whoever is in this world after she is gone.
    I'm guessing that she doesn't -- at least not with her in the hospital anyway.
  • Mar 26, 2008, 07:10 AM
    jillianleab
    See if you can find out something she's interested in, and pick up a magazine about it. Then you can read the magazine, read her the articles, show her the pictures, etc. Say she's interested in celebrity gossip - you can pick up all kinds of magazines and let her in on all the juicy details!

    She might not want to do any projects because it might remind her that her life is ending. If she doesn't have family, valentines or a scrapbook might just cause her to remember she's dying and no one is there for her. She might also just be one of those people who wants to have someone in the room with her to keep her company - not to entertain her.
  • Mar 26, 2008, 07:45 AM
    HistorianChick
    Yo MA! (lol, sorry, not enough coffee)

    My Mom is a hospice volunteer - she started volunteering after we lost my Dad and saw what a blessing they were. So first of all KUDOS for doing this... you're touching lives in so many ways.

    Mom reads to her patients. Some like literature, some like the old stories, some like the Bible, some like magazines, some poetry, but most every one likes to be read to. You'd probably know a lot more about fitting a book to a person with your job than I would - who knows? One of your little old lady patients might seriously enjoy the vampire love stories! :D You really never know!

    Ooo... you could start a book club!

    My mind is running away with me... I'm seeing your patient reading Nora Roberts... and I'm liking it! :)
  • Mar 26, 2008, 08:01 AM
    mafiaangel180
    Yo HC! (no coffee in me whatsoever)

    Thanks! I thought this would be a tough job for me, but quite honestly, it isn't as emotionally hard as what I thought it would be.

    Yeah, I could definitely get some free books at work. I'm wondering if she would dig a book about pregnant were-leopards. Hmmmm.

    What does your mom do if they don't want read to?
  • Mar 26, 2008, 08:06 AM
    HistorianChick
    She sometimes just sits with them. Its uncomfortable for us to just sit and bear the awkward silence, but for them, just having someone there with them is comforting.

    Sometimes she'll bring music - music from the teen years of the patients she's seeing that day. For example, if your patient is in her 90's bring big band stuff and crooners... figure out what kind of music she listened to as a kid and bring it! Ask her if she went to dances and you'll find yourself lost in a delightful world of her memories.

    Music opens so many doors. Who knows? You could organize a community sock hop! LOL! :) Never know!
  • Mar 26, 2008, 08:24 AM
    Dr D
    See if you might be allowed to bring a gentle dog for a visit. It is proven that critters can lift the spirits of anyone. Keep up the good work.
  • Mar 26, 2008, 08:27 AM
    mafiaangel180
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HistorianChick
    She sometimes just sits with them. Its uncomfortable for us to just sit and bear the awkward silence, but for them, just having someone there with them is comforting.

    Sometimes she'll bring music - music from the teen years of the patients she's seeing that day. For example, if your patient is in her 90's bring big band stuff and crooners.... figure out what kind of music she listened to as a kid and bring it! Ask her if she went to dances and you'll find yourself lost in a delightful world of her memories.

    Music opens so many doors. Who knows? You could organize a community sock hop! LOL! :) Never know!
    So no gangsta rap?
  • Mar 26, 2008, 08:29 AM
    HistorianChick
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mafiaangel180
    So no gangsta rap?
    LOL!! Hey, she might be a rappin-grandma, you never know!! :) Its worth finding out!
  • Mar 26, 2008, 08:32 AM
    mafiaangel180
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HistorianChick
    LOL!!! Hey, she might be a rappin-grandma, you never know!!! :) Its worth finding out!
    Hehehehehe. I can just picture the look on her face when I show up with my Wu Tang and vampire erotica.
  • Mar 26, 2008, 08:32 AM
    HistorianChick
    LOL! Wow... that gave me a giggle... And it just might give her one too... and that would be worth it :)
  • Apr 13, 2012, 06:09 PM
    Roadrunner64
    People that know they are dying go through many stages in a short period. What they thought they liked last week may be uninviting at this time. If you are really nervous it may be a good idea not to suggest anything but find out where her mind is leading her.
    Gentle coatching and small talk can do wonders. Even if she absolutely does not want to do anything, you can always tell her you're so glad you had a change to chat with her and leave it at that.
    Have a tea or coffeee with her and listen... I always tend to ask them what their favorite passtime was when they were young or what they did with their kids. If there is a photo album ask if you may see it... It is all about what they need.. and not what we want.. Good luck and sometimes it's good to pray about it before you go to see her.
  • Apr 13, 2012, 06:11 PM
    Roadrunner64
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mafiaangel180 View Post
    Hehehehehe. I can just picture the look on her face when I show up with my Wu Tang and vampire erotica.
    What are you doing on a page like this?
  • Apr 13, 2012, 06:13 PM
    Roadrunner64
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HistorianChick View Post
    LOL! Wow..... That gave me a giggle...... And it just might give her one too... And that would be worth it :)
    When your thoughts are discusting your care for people can not be valuable,

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