Well people from my other post... my girlfreind of 2 years and best frined of 4 she said she wants to be single... enjoys being single, and says she cares a lot for me and still would pick me over her friends... etc... also says she likes me but does not feel that she loves me anymore... she's doing anything to help me out and also told me to let go... she said I problay will regret it one day but right now she can't help her feelins of how she feels... I asked her nicely if we can stop contact... I told her ill give her a call some times to check up on her and she said the same... I plan on not talking to her for a couple weeks than slowly slowly building my way up for her friend ship.. hopefully one day settling down if its meant to be could I get any more advice from anyone if I did or doing the wrong thing SINCE THE BEINGING OF February till now I've been kissing her butt, calling her wanting to talk to her kind of like begging her to come back I did wornng... its time for me to cut the cord... please thwo me some advice.. from past expirecae


Also from peoples expieace do they usually come back? Knowing how much and how long our relathiship lasted 2 years down the drain? What are the odds of it coming to an end for good... I'm sorry I just miss my baby.. just wanted to know the out comes in situations like mine..

Well I haven't been through it yet, but I am going through it now.

I have also just brought up the point of stopping contact, so that hopefully I can heal, and not feel like I am being led on.

Personally, I think your making the right decision, and I know its hard. As of right now, each minute is harder than the last for me, and I'm sure its similar for you. Just try to keep busy.

After two years, I'm sure she knows you well enough to know you are not doing this in an way to cause her harm or pain, you just need to break from the reminders, and everyday conversations so that you can heal.

Think of it this way... If you don't heal now, you won't stand a chance of having a healthy friendship later... Would you rather keep grasping at something that's gone, or move to something which can be strong and lasting in the future?

I think no contact helps to heal oneself and the other person. I think it is okay to ask for what you need.

No contact os sooo painful, I have been there myself, but it is the best way. At least until you can honestly say that you are over the relationship. That might feel like it will never happen but it does, in the end.

It is very painful, however time will help, I promise.

Yes I underststand... I just keep wondering if she will come back...

You just never know... life gives us the unexpected sometimes. Have faith

Agreed man no conatact!. it hurts like hell but in the end it's the best way.. never ever beg someone to be with you.. always think that your so great to be around that people have to be stark raving mad! Not to be with you.. and pitty them as shuch!.

Because at the end of the day you're the one that have to live with yourself 24/7..

Anyway man :) if she does come back and you want her take it.. but don't wait around for it to happen just assume that it won't and go and enjoy yourself.. your young good looking lot to offer.. go out there and have fun :)

Good luck man

Well I'm keeping this no contact up right now... I figure I think she's talking to another guy... I was wondering... would it be okay if I could slowly slowly start being her friend w/ a month of no contact.

Personally I don't think anyone can answer how long it will take. It really depends on how your still feeling about her. I don't think it is a good idea to contact unless you can say you are totally over the relationship. Speaking from experience, I have slipped and made contact during no contact, and it always just set me back. I began to wonder if she still had feelings for me, and that's not something you want to put yourself through.

I say wait until you can confidentaly say that you are over the relationship, and no longer have intentions of getting back together, as you may end up hurting yourself more. Only you will know when you are truly over it.

Speaking as a guy who was in a situation quite as hopeless as yours (thought not equivalent), I can tell you right now that NC makes a difference... The times when I would go to sleep thinking about my girl and wake up doing the same thing... Over. It just happens one day when you wouldn't expect it. And then you're still the same great person you were at the beginning of this little extravaganza!

You've got this thing under control if you go NC...

And think of the end of it as a test... When can you truly reach out to this person with no expectation of continuing the relationship - knowing that it could go one way or the other and have the same effect on you? You'll get there. All it takes is time.

You that's true I guess ill keep up nc time goes by so slow feels like one minute is an hour! A day is a week. Weeks are months, so hard my days go by slower its crazy! I just don't feel happy anymore I hate it I never knew it was going to hurt this bad... I never new... I hope one day I can be happy as I use to I've learned a lot... I won't ever put my guard down for no one!

One of the best benefits of No Contact is that it lets the emotional dust settle, and you can see the things about your partner that you were blind to before.

There will always be something there for your ex. Even after years you will probs experience some old emotions. So NC allows you to get your head around things.

You don't ask for no contact. That isn't the point. You STOP calling them. You don't returen ANY of the text and e-mail. You move on and work on yourself.

They most likely will not come back - it depends on what you did to push them away.

You become just her friend - be prepared to onl ybe her friend.

You need to stop the contatc for 3 months at least. Leave her alone.

You know maybe my advice is not good but I thought I would share this with you. I have become very cold harded... After being with my daughters father for 5 years I cut the cord and simply told him it was over. No feelings there. On the other hand I still have to see him because he's in jail and I take my daughter to see him but still I do not get any feelings no do memories come up. Maybe its best if you 2 just remain friends. Stop calling her so much and smoothering her. Let her choose if she wants a "deep" relationship or not and you, well you just have to accept it...

Smothering is a good word - that's what he did.

Yes I did I smoothered her for a months in a half... now I quit.. I asked her just give me time that's all.. its been a week now and I'm feeling so much better.. I'm So much more happier... yes some times when I wake up or when I'm alone I misss her real bad... but I snap out of it and let myself know she's happy... so let her be happy... even though there are some times when I know or feel like she's going to come back after she gets thrown around for a couple months... now its her turn to make the moves if she wants... ill move on when I see that she has moved on

Quote:

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ill move on when I see that she has moved on

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She has moved on so now what are you waiting for?

Yes, you need to just move on. She has already moved on! Get out there and do something for yourself.

Go LIVE your LIFE! Stop obsessing. If it is meant to be then it will be. Don't try to control fate.

If you EVER want her to want you again, it will only happen after you have moved on, gotten some self-confidence, and started seeing other girls. Girls don't want/like smothering, obsessive guys.