Drive Fast
Did you hear about the 83 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?
Opposites Attract
Two bachelors were talking about their respective choice of life partner. One friend said,'It is generally said that people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages. What is your opinion ?
The friend replied,'Yes, they are right. That is why I am looking for a girl with a money!'
Purple Elephant
What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?
None. It just lets out a little wine.
Handsome and Irresistible
A man and his wife were returning from a party one evening. As the couple was driving home, she asked her husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?"
Totally flattered, he replied, "No, dear they haven't."
At that point she yelled, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?"
Hey I got some wierd friends, okay??????????????
