Ask Me Help Desk - My 5 Yr. OLd Daughter

My daughter is 5 and in kindergarten. She has said she has kissed 2 boys from pre-k and talks about boyfriends. She always checks her privates out and even touches herself and smells it. She talks about boobs buttholes and penis's. She said she seen a penis sticking out of a photo and I looked at it and didn't see anything different. I am not sure what to do or say to her! I don't know how to tell her not to be interested in boys like that. What do I say to her when she talks like that? Should I be worried. I think it is very early for all of this. She seems kind of obsessed. I have a son that is 1 and a stepdaughter that is 5 as well. I have my daughter primary and she visits dad. I am kind of afraid she might experment. I don't want to tell her no and her do something behind my back. Help?? :confused:

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunstorm14760

My daughter is 5 and in kindergarten. She has said she has kissed 2 boys from pre-k and talks about boyfriends. She always checks her privates out and even touches herself and smells it. She talks about boobs buttholes and penis's. she said she seen a penis sticking out of a photo and i looked at it and didn't see anything different. I am not sure what to do or say to her!! I don't know how to tell her not to be interested in boys like that. What do I say to her when she talks like that? Should I be worried. I think it is very early for all of this. She seems kinda obsessed. I have a son that is 1 and a stepdaughter that is 5 as well. I have my daughter primary and she visits dad. I am kinda afraid she might experment. I don't want to tell her no and her do something behind my back. Help???? :confused:

Try child psychology... it may be just a normal behavior.

Hi,
This seems kind of strange behavior for a 5 yr old; my grandson is 8 now, and nothing like this. Also, my own daughter was nothing like this at that age.
You really need to take your child to a Professional, such as another suggested, a child psychologist or some other professional.
They will talk with her, find out what is going on.
Also, is this the child that visits with her Dad? Dad might be telling her stuff you don't know about. She is getting all this from someone!
Please take her to a professional, a counselor, or someone.
Best of luck,
fredg

Do not allow her to talk about such things in your presence. When she brings up the topic, tell her that she's not allowed to talk about those things and change the subject. Assure her that such topics are for when she's older and when you decide that she's ready to deal with such issues on a mature, intelligent level. Next, contact her teacher and share your concerns. Chances are that your daughter is picking up this stuff from her peers at school. Inform the teacher that you expect that such conversation and kissing-like behavior between boys and girls is inappropriate for a kindergarten classroom. Try to find out from your daughter who specifically talks about such things and try to get some names ("Sally" , "Johnny" , etc.) and share these with the teacher as well. The teacher and school administrators have a right to know which children are creating an unhealthy classroom environment for the rest of the students. This isn't a 7th grade class were talking about, this is kindergarten! Lastly, share your concerns with her father and try to get him to back you up on this. No father with a lick of sense wants his kindergarten-age daughter involved in such things (I have two of them myself, so I know!) As a last resort, you may have to prohibit your daughter from talking to any boys in school for right now. This may not sit well with school officials who may fear that you're teaching your daughter prejudice, but you are the parent and have the ultimate right to do whatever is necessary to protect your daughter from unhealthy influences. Children that age have no clue as to the implications inherent in sexual topics and have absolutely no means by which to protect themselves physically or emotionally.

Well I am a social worker and I am very concerned about your child's behavior. It is normal for children to begin touching themselves between the ages of 3-5. It however is completely different for a child to be talking about the body parts of the opposite sex. Did you ask your child where she saw the pictures of the penis? I would be very concerned about where my child was viewing pornographic images. They don't teach sex ed in pre-k or kindergarten. A child who is bragging about kissing is slightly odd. Is she giving them pecks on the cheek, the lips, or is she french kissing. It could be that your child has been sexually abused. The report you are giving sounds suspiciously like she has been perped on by someone.
You need to sit the child down ask her questions. If you are not comfortable talking to the child call social services or law enforcment and tell them they you need to know who can provide you with a forensic interview for child sex abuse. They will only talk to the child and observe her.
Furthermore, when she starts talking about these topics and touching herself you need to correct her behavior and tell her we do these things in private. If she continues establish a time out routine for inappropriate behavior.

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Originally Posted by serialwife

Well i am a social worker and I am very concerned about your child's behavior. It is normal for children to begin touching themselves between the ages of 3-5. It however is completely different for a child to be talking about the body parts of the opposite sex. Did you ask your child where she saw the pictures of the penis? I would be very concerned about where my child was viewing pornographic images. They don't teach sex ed in pre-k or kindergarten. A child who is bragging about kissing is slightly odd. Is she giving them pecks on the cheek, the lips, or is she french kissing. It could be that your child has been sexually abused. The report you are giving sounds suspiciously like she has been perped on by someone.
You need to sit the child down ask her questions. If you are not comfortable talking to the child call social services or law enforcment and tell them they you need to know who can provide you with a forensic interview for child sex abuse. They will only talk to the child and and observe her.
Furthermore, when she starts talking about these topics and touching herself you need to correct her behavior and tell her we do these things in private. If she continues establish a time out routine for inappropriate behavior.

I agree with serialwife

You should not ignore this, you need to question her to the best of your ability, this is not normal for a child of her age, take her to her pediatrician have her checked out. Talking about having a boy friend is a normal thing for them. I drive a school bus and listen to the little ones talk about there boy friend girl friend things, but this sounds much different, almost scary if you ask me. Also it might be help if you sought other help as well such as social services or law enforcement or a child physiologist

Hoping this was helpful to you.