As if it's not hard enough trying to raise teenagers, with all the backtalk and disrespect, I also have an ex-husband who undermines my authority every time I try to discipline.
Just recently, my 15 year old daughter attacked me. She was obviously having an issue with someone else, a friend or someone who hurt her feelings. Her response to that is to become very nasty to me. I'm trying like crazy to get all 3 of my teenagers to show me more respect. But the swearing is becoming quite fluent. I tried to stay calm and not fuel the fire, but doing so gives my kids entitlement to say as they please to me, like shut up, you're a , f-you. It's making my life completely unlivable and I'm miserable.
The other day, my daughter mumbles something from downstairs, while I am upstairs. I tell her "come upstairs, I can't hear you". She mumbles something else which I couldn't hear, but I clearly heard her say to shut up. Her words are very emphatic and venomous. I go downstairs to tell her she will not speak to me that way. She replies with F-you!! My fuse ran out and I slapped her. She went on a full-blown attack. Pulling my hair, punching me in the head, had me down and on top of me. My 13 year old son came and pulled her off me.
She then calls her dad to come get her away from this *itch! He does! He comes with "oh poor baby"... and threatens to take custody etc blah blah blah. So now, daughter is at her dad's, running with friends, doing whatever she wants. No discipline whatsoever!
I am aware that my mistake was slapping her. But, I just didn't know what else to do when she continuously spews her venomous words at me. Her behavior is bleeding onto my other two, younger teens who are also starting to talk to me the same way. I've tried removing privileges etc... it didn't work. I tell them they are grounded from something and they do it anyway, telling me :what are you going to do about it? Honestly, what CAN I do if they don't respond or respect my authority?
So when ex shows up with his meaningless threats, he's shouting in my face in my driveway, in front of my neighbors and my kids. Swearing and shouting in my face so close I can smell his breath. Great role model.
I am so miserable and have a good mind to hand the kids over to prove a point of how difficult it is to handle 3 teenagers.
What can I do?