Long story short, I'm 20, my boyfriend is 24, we live together in upstate NY in a relationship of about 2 years. We love each other very much. I have always had a dream of being on the NASCAR circuit (I know, weird for a girl) and I have had my heart set on going to NASCAR Tech in North Carolina. This fall, my dream will become a reality. However my boyfriend refuses to accompany me and knows as well as I do, I will probably get a job in a NASCAR garage and not want to come back to NY. I don't have anyone here aside from parents. I'm not a really social person so I don't have a lot of close friends and the one close friend I do have, well she's moving with me for an internship in Charlotte. I currently race dirt track cars and racing of all kinds has always been my life. This is something I have made a decision on. My future comes first and I cannot let a relationship hold me back. It hurts so bad to leave him. How do I deal with this? He tells me that once winter is over he will be leaving me to save himself of the heartbreak in September. I won't be able to pay rent by myself and save for a new place in NC if he does this. I know I will manage but it will be harder. I'm just so confused, I know what I want to do, but to get it, I must leave the one I love. I just need advice, I know what I'm doing I know how to go about it, but I don't know how to deal with my emotions.

I went back and read your other thread and I think maybe you and your boyfriend are growing apart. I know how painful this can be to accept in a major living together relationship, but it happens, and it isn't necessarily anybody's fault, and there isn't necessarily anything that can be done about it. If you gave up your dream and stayed in NY to try and save the relationship, what do you think the chances are it would work? From the sound of it, I'd say not very good. Is that small chance worth giving up your dream for? It's for you to decide, but if it were me, I don't think so.

It sounds like you've already made the decision to go, and that's good. Just recognize that there's a grieving process to go through after the loss of a serious relationship, and there's no escaping it. Be patient with yourself and with him. It's going to be hard on both of you and you may both do and say some things that you'll regret because of the pain, but try to keep it to a minimum and keep your focus on coming to a point of acceptance without blame. I wish you all the best.

Follow your dreams, Good luck!!

The decision you are making now is the best choice. You can't let anyone get in the way of your dreams. THis a wise choice to make. Since he is going to break up with you, you can just keep busy to keep him off your mind. Another way to manage is to simply start dating again.

If and when you choose your work over the person you love, you don't really love them.

If you really love someone, nothing will keep you apart. This really needed to be something discussed at the early part of the relationshiop, not after investing several years.