Omg. I had sex for the first time Sunday night (2 days ago) and I didn't want to at all. I mean, I have an issue at not being able to say no. I barely even knew the guy. And He asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I said no. (Because I wanted to do it when I get married and with someone I love) then he kept asking and I felt like I HAD to. So he started taking off my shirt and I started shaking.. and he's like, "Im gonna do it ok?" and I responded with "I guess" he took off his and mine... I just laid there with a blank stare.. It seemed like forever until it was over...

I don't know what to do. He said the condom broke... I feel so sick. I've been throwing up for two days straight. Im not pregnant am I? How will I know? Can I take a pregancy test this soon? I feel like a tramp and I can't stop crying.. How do I get over all this? If I AM pregnant I can't have this baby!! This is terrible..

zappy,

Tramps (I hate that word) don't feel like tramps. Just like crazy people don't feel like their crazy - they just are. You are not a 'tramp'. You may have made a mistake. You could have been stronger, more firm. You need to talk to someone older, share your worries. I don't know what else to tell you at this point except to love and respect yourself or no one will and they will think they have the right to just use you. Be strong, take care of you.

Come back for a chat. Okay?

I totally agree with blue rose.YOu need to tell someone.A pregnancy won't just go away.You need to take a test or go to planned parenthood or some company like that.IN the future you should be more firm when it come to your virginity.I mean , you don't want to be one of those girls who everyone says ,heck she's is easy, you want to be one of those girls who make your boys"work".Let me know how this ends

Okay, if you ever get in tis situation with the guy and all, and he says I'm going to do this, you should have grabbed something hit him across the face, then sasid, heck no, you think you going to get this that easy?Boy you must be out of your mind, now get the heck out of way before I knock you down.Well I cleaned the text up a little bit.Hey, at our school they showed this movie about stuff like this, the speakers name was Pam, but we got the movie from this lady named Shannon Howland and you can contact her at Serenity House, Abilene, Texas .Let me know how this turns out

I don't think Im pregnant, Now Im just worried about STDs... I really wish I was more firm. I really do. I just have a hard time being mean to people... I really am, and I was scared. I was shaking. I wish guys would just listen when girls say NO. It was probably the worst "First time" a girl could have. (Besides being raped but that doesn't count as losing your virginity) I just Laid there, and all I could think was, "Man when is this gonna be over" I feel so trampish. I hate myself right now. I really really do. This sucks...

I agree, it really sucks to hate yourself, but that's how you got into this situation, so you have to stop hating yourself and learn to assert your will and take control. This cycle of self-loathing feeds on itself and will continue to get worse unless you get some help and learn how to make better choices and follow through on them. You're way smarter than you give yourself credit for. For one thing, you're smart enough to recognize a mistake when you see one, so that's a big plus right there.

Everybody makes mistakes. Where you're going wrong is in beating yourself up about it and making yourself feel worse instead of focusing on how to avoid making similar mistakes in the future. Learning to say NO in a way that is convincing is a basic life skill. It's especially important for teenage girls when it comes to sex, but everyone needs to learn it to avoid being taken advantage of in any number of ways, so don't feel like the lone ranger. And it certainly isn't "being mean to people" to insist on being respected. Self-respect and self-confidence are what you need to learn and cultivate. Talk to a counsellor or somebody else you can trust and get some help to get you through this and set yourself on a path to better things.

I don't want to talk to a counselor or anybody because I feel like I have to remain and maintain this reputation that I have worked so hard on building for myself. Im afraid the people who look up to me now (which they really shouldnt) won't anymore. But maybe that's for the best. I don't want anybody to look down on me... Mor then I feel like they already do...

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Originally Posted by zappy

I dont want anybody to look down on me... Mor then I feel like they already do....

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The reason you feel like other people look down on you is that you don't respect yourself. The truth is that most people are so busy thinking about themselves that they don't have time to think about you. Regaining your self-respect is the only way to quit worrying about what other people think. There's no shame in needing help. The only shame is in letting foolish pride keep you from asking for the help you need.

But I USED to be the one people sought for help. NOT the other way around!

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Originally Posted by zappy

But I USED to be the one people seeked for help. NOT the other way around!!

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And now, you need help. It happens to everybody. No blame, no shame. Get on with it.

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Originally Posted by zappy

But I USED to be the one people seeked for help. NOT the other way around!!

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As you have helped others now is the time for you to receive help. There is no shame in that, and it will help you get over the helpless feelings you have, and give you a chance to learn new skills in dealing with males in the future. Don't feel bad as this happens to many times as you well know. Find an adult that you trust and start the healing process.

Well honestly I've never been in this situation. zappy you have to learn to be more assertive. Learn how to use your refusal skills. But here's a suggestion, go to a doctor. Their not going to tell anyone. Your risking your life. I just learned about std's and all these different types of aids and crap. And this is not a joke. Its your life. I serioulsy recommend you get tested.
<3

I have no way of getting there... so I guess Im just screwed... for the second time

If you can't say no, just shake your head, if they start to unbottom get up and leave. If you keep saying yes, then the male will not know you mean no.

Many males have trouble understanding no to start with. And there are other issues besides being pregnant to worry about having sex where a condom broke or unprotected.

If you need to practice saying NO, say no other other people for little things to practice.

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Originally Posted by zappy

I have no way of getting there... so I guess Im just screwed.... for the second time

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Call some one for a ride ride, catch a bus, or walk whatever, just go see a doctor and find an adult you trust to talk to. Sitting and crying never solved a darn thing, so sorry for being harsh, but get busy and lose the excuses.

I know exactly how you feel. But I think you are throwing up from nerves because signs don't show until 2 weeks after your first missed period. Did this guy call you back?

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Originally Posted by zappy
I have no way of getting there... so I guess Im just screwed.... for the second time

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Get a few home pregnancy tests from the drugstore.

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Originally Posted by zappy

I have no way of getting there... so I guess Im just screwed.... for the second time

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Get a friend to help you or somehing.

Ok so I know Im not pregnant... Im OK now... I just don't want STDS. Its hard for me to find anybody I trust in, but I'll figure something out. I really appreciate all your help... And for Orbit... No, we haven't even spoken to each other. I don't think I can even look at him, Im too freaked out. He really scared me

How old are u? I would most certainly pray to God if you're under 18. Do you people know anything. You don't just go and have sex with some guy you don't know well. For all you know he could have aids or some other sexual transmitted disease. Go to the pharmacy and ask them for a pregnancy test device or anything like that. U can send me a private message if u wish.