Hi,

I have a very good trusting relationship with my boyfriend and we have a flat together. I am a nurse and work shift work. His mate has recently split up from a long term relationship and I think is wanting to go to a strip club with him this weekend while Im at work. I am really horrified by this and feel like its almost like he is planning to cheat on me, the thought of him sitting there getting excited by another woman and getting off on it makes me feel awful. I really don't know if I'm over reacting but I have tried to talk to him about it and all he says is that I don't know where we are going and if that's the case I can't just go OK lads I will wait outside.. he doesn't see my point of view at all on it and I am scared if he does go the implications on our relationship it will have after and how I feel about this, its made me feel extremely insecure and I don't know what to do.. Help please!

Ok... talk to him... Tell him you really don't want him to go because you don't like the idea of him seeing another woman naked. Tell him, to just for that night because you are so afraid, you would like him to call you every once in a while and for you to call him every once in a while to make sure he picks up. Honestly, a strip club is just that. They can't have sex with anyone. It's just to help his friend out and I'm sure it will just want you more when he is done. Trust me, many people make these things a big deal and ruin relaltionships. He will be yours after that night and soon you both will be 50 and will laugh at this and you will be proud you were strong to let it go. Just tell him this one time only. It's healthy to let him go. It's nothing. It's not a date with a girl. It's a view and I think it's not a big deal. If you can't deal with it no matter what and you are insecure, then do what I said before... Be honest.

Try this... have trust in him. He is going out to help a friend. This isn't about you or him... its about his friendship. Don't get in the way of that or you will push him away. Know at the end of the night he is coming home to you. He may be turned on by the girls at the strip club but you are the one he is going to want to touch at the end of the night.

So show trust and confidence. That is sexy.

Very sexy!! He may not even want to go next time. If you show it bothers you, he will know he has a string to pull on you when you bother him. Don't let anyone get that power over you. If he was single he would go anyway. Yet he is yours, so let him go and don't be bothered. Just tell him to call you when he gets out no matter what time. It will be so sexy if you let him go. If my ex let me go, I think we would've lasted forever. But she never trusted me therefore aI never trusted her. It will kill your relationship. Just let it be. Trust and confidence like my friend said above me. You need to really think about it. They are just having a good time. And don't pressure him next time like u want to go clubbing with the girls since u let him go there. That will totally stop him from letting u go out and he not want to do anything because he will know u will use it against him. It stops a relationship from moving on. Please for GOODNESS sakes! Let him go! Be sexy!

You don't want to end up like his friend in a break up... Be happy with what is yours. It's only one night.

I would let him go, but ack a little jealous that is showing him that you care. And he'll probably think of you all night. In the 5 years me and now ex were together I didn't go one time. I could have but I didn't because I did have her and didn't want to look at other woman. But if I did go and she acked a just a little jealous that would turn me on.

I think the prior posters were all men. Lol. I completely disagree with them.

I'm really anti-strip clubs. I find them to be degrading and insulting to all women, and really offensive. I'm not a hypocrite, I wouldn't go see a man strip, either.

I think it is very disrespectful to a relationship for a man (or woman) to go to one.

I tell every guy I date on the first date that if they EVER go to one, under ANY circumstance, it is over. It is something I feel that strongly about. I dumped a guy for it once right on the spot, and I'll do it again. If someone doesn't respect how I feel about them, and can't give up that one little thing, then I don't want them. I don't think it is asking a lot.

If I were you, I'd probably tell him I don't want him to go, and to respect my wishes and how I feel. I am not controlling any other time, and am always cool about letting guys do things with their friends, so I think if I am against it in that one circumstance it is fair.

Really, I don't think it is cool for him to go. I think he should have more respect for your relationship and feelings than that.

Good luck, I hope he comes to his senses and sees that what he has is better than a stripper.

Oh, and I think it is cheating, too. You aren't alone on that.

That is not cheating! OMG! Alkaline, I don't want to sound disrespectful, but I don't think any guy would stay with a girl who acts like that. It's not cool. I'd say the most she can try is ask if she can tag along. But it's not that serious. You're a girl... I'm a guy so I'm telling her how we see things. We don't want that. If we did we wouldn't be with our girlfriend. It's not so serious as it is to you girls. But it's because you are too jealous. Be secure. Be confident. Like I said it's very sexy. Life can't be taken too seriously. He's a guy. Guys like strip clubs, just because he has a girlfriend doesn't mean he is doing wrong. Plus he said maybe. It's his friends decision, not his. He didn't want to go out of nowhere. Be cool with your boyfriend. It will make the relationship healthy if both of you can be cool like that. I hope I get a girlfriend like that. I would let her go too. Wait a minute... Thinking about this the other way around now... I don't think I would like it either... But hey, you just have to let some things go. Just do what you think you can handle. Im me and everyone can do what they want and based on how they feel. You can just be honest with your man and tell him you can't deal with it, and tell him he can't and that's it. Def. a red flag, but hey, take my advise... I have a better idea!

I have a great idea... Tell him you want to have a meeting in person. At home or outside, setup some lunch with drinks and all and tell him you would like to have a discussion about the plans. Tell him how you feel about the strip club in between eating. Tell him, "I understand you need to be there for your friend, and I don't have a problem with that. I just get afraid of the fact that you will be seeing other women. I understand he doesn't have a gf but you do. You have me. I'm sure if he had a gf, he wouldn't be going there, so why should you just for him. What about me? I love you and this just freaks me out and I hope you understand me. Your eyes are so beautiful and I only want them all over my body!" Then kiss him! If he still decides to go and gives an excuse, then he is a jerk! But it should work.

How about this. Before this day comes up you go to a strip club with him. My ex and I used to go and it was fun. To this day he still says that after going to a strip club with me with him, it never felt right to go to one without me!

Listen, girls have their own lives and so do guys. It all boils down to trust. What if he doesn't go to a strip club, but he's stripping a girl somewhere else, how would you know? TRUST... that is all you can do. He doesn't have to go to strip club to break that trust, OK... so relax... and let him go where he wants to go... everyone wants freedom once in a while... I've been to a man's strip club but did nothing... so? Does that mean I am not trustworthy enough to let loose... c'mon... don't fret of what's going to happen... live NOW... that's more important... give him love and trust... rest leave certain things on their own. By fretting over it you're not going to gain anything... u get my point!

Wow. How did I miss this debate?

Let me start by expressing my opinion on Alkaline's post. (See the "O" word there, you don't have to agree with me but it is how I feel).

Strips clubs are more degrating for the men who attend then the women who are dancing. I've dated a number of dancers in my lifetime, and work was always just work. It's the guys who think that the women are interested in anything beside his wallet that are being degrade, and as they choose to do so... good for them. (P.S. - Same goes for porn)

With that out of the way:

Try to look a little from his point of view. Do you think is going because he feels the need to see another girl naked, or do you think he is just there to be supportive of his friend? Maybe a little bit of both? How much does the nudity bother you? Does it bother you for him to watch a Bond film? I'm not saying you are wrong, just really consider the problem before approaching it. If it is something that you can't deal with, make that perfectly clear. Tell him why it is such a problem. If he is a good man, and you've said that he is, he will understand and cancel the evening. Right now, I think (and it's just what I think) that he is fighting back because he doesn't really care about the strip club part of it, he just wants to be there for his friend.

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Originally Posted by alkaline

I tell every guy I date on the first date that if they EVER go to one, under ANY circumstance, it is over. It is something I feel that strongly about.

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Am I to understand that you tell every guy on the first date, "If you got to a strip club it's over?" Presumably the first date takes place before your even going out with someone so that seems like a pretty big demand to be making at such an early stage of the game.

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Originally Posted by alkaline

Oh, and I think it is cheating, too. You aren't alone on that.

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Oh my. Going to a strip club is the equivalent of having sex with another woman? Please.

Strip clubs are a fantasy land that allow men to escape for few hours. I'm not against people not liking them, and to be honest I can see the arguments some people make against them, but a friend taking his friend who just got dumped to a strip club to forget about his ex is not in any way cheating or even remotely close to it.

You and the OP are making way more out of a few hours then either guy will remember in a weeks time.

When I started going out with my GF I took her to a friends parents house. A couple of guys wanted to go to the strippers.
I looked at her and said is this OK.
She didn't look but happy but said all right. We left her there and went out for a few hours.
On the drive home the conversation started with If I am EVER in that situation again don't embarrass her by asking permision to go out, just go. She didn't want people to think she was controlling my life.
Long story short I married her post haste, Never regretted it for a second and just celebrated our 25th anniversary.
If you have a trusting relationship you will never have to worry.

Fear, insecurity, and no trust, will wreck a relationship. Throw in trying to control another is a dealbreaker in my book. There are so many important things in life making a big deal over something so small can be cause more damage than its worth. Bags relax, and plan your own activities with your g/f's, and have fun. As Chuff has pointed out his night at a strip club is not going to be in his mind forever, and most of us males wake up the next day and have already forgotten it. So why worry if he is yours and you trust him? You do trust him don't you?

Hello:

I had a girlfriend once who thought that if I looked at another girl, it was cheating. Needless to say, I don't have that girlfriend anymore.

Girls! Get a grip! Cheating is cheating. Nothing else is cheating other than cheating. If you don't know what cheating is, I feel very sorry for your man. Lets call him your EX-man, because if you keep acting that way, that's what he'll be.

excon

I'm a dude. Plain and simple, if a girl didn't want me going, I wouldn't go. That's part of a relationship.

Giving.

Yeah... no doubt, trust is important and insecurity is bad. But it's also important to make someone else comfortable. I have NEVER dated a girl who wanted me going to strip clubs. And I've never minded not going if she had a problem with it. There are about ten thousand other things to do.

Any demands based on fear, insecurity, or trust issues are unreasonable, and to feed those feelings will not make someone comfortable but more demanding. Much better to work on the real root issues.

He's a guy.
Guy's do "guys things..."
Women talk and talk and talk after we break up or are in problems...
Men tend to "do things"... that's how they bond.
Can they not do something else than going to a strip club ?
Of course they can, but this came up...


No matter whether they are in a good relationship or not, they will look at other women
And there is nothing wrong with looking.
I know that my husband will look at a beautiful woman... and why not ?
I look at goodlooking chaps.

But at the end of the day... we are married, we love each other and really.. if I would freak out because he works with goodlooking fun women or would look at somebody else I would drive myself nuts...

It's about trust.
If your relationship is that good and there is trust.. then you should not have to worry.
Don't get insecure because they will see some naked women.

Don't make an issue out of something that is not an issue yet.
Your reaction turns it into an issue and questions the level of trust in your relationship.

Fear is bad companionship...

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Any demands based on fear, insecurity, or trust issues are unreasonable, and to feed those feelings will not make someone comfortable but more demanding. Much better to work on the real root issues.

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Exactly.

What's ironic about this line of thought is that if a guy goes out to night club the chances are so much greater he's going to be hit on then if he were going to a strip club where the girl just want his money.

In my early 20's I was a bartender. We had strippers frequent our night club and they were very nice and outgoing when they were at my place of business. However when I would go to the strip clubs, at the their invitation mind you, they would say hello but move one because I'm not there to pay them and that's what they are doing, looking for a pay day.

As I stated I can understand some of the arguments against strip clubs and some are valid, but this issue isn't really about strip clubs, it's about trust or the lack there of in this relationship. If you can't trust your man to go to a strip club where women one see him for his wallet then you can't really trust him. As I said, he'd have a better chance of getting hit on at a regular club then at a strip club but in the end it wouldn't matter since there is no trust in him to make the right decision by way of the relationship or the woman in his life.

Here's some facts about men that may surprise you. Some of us can be loyal. Some of us don't automatically cheat if we get hit on. ALL men can look at a nude woman and not get sexually interested in them. These are facts based on reality not the fears based on insecurity.

Your right on Chuff as the chance of finding someone to cheat with is much better in a club, than at a strip joint. But females worry about a strip joint?? Go figure. Maybe I should stay home, and watch porn. Naw can't win there either. Well I am house broke, that should count for something CHEEEEEEEZ! She would have a real fit if I could lick my own balls though, that would teach 'em to appreciate us as men and not dogs!

What's the difference between a strip club and pornography? One will cost you a little more. Don't let insecurities get in the way of your relationship. It sounds like this hasn't come up before and just something he's doing to help his buddy get his mind off things. I'm not sure how it's going to help - but it's a guy thing I guess.

I think it's offensive that you guys assume that the reason I have a problem with a guy going to strip club is because I am insecure.

I'm not insecure in the least. I'm attractive and I graduated from law school at 24 years old for gods sake. I couldn't have gone through 3 years of law school without self confidence, trust me, you have to be tough. But I guess according to you guys I must hate myself to not be cool with my boyfriends watching women dance around naked. Haha, OK.

You all missed my point completely. I think it is disrespectful. I think it's unnecessary, and sleazy. I don't want to date someone (or marry someone, yes, a guy is actually looking at engagement rings with me, and no, he doesn't have any issue whatsoever with how I feel) that disagrees with me on the issue. So in response to the person that asked me, yes, I do actually tell guys on the first date. And guess what, shocker, but guys usually want a secocnd date! I'm a very honest person, if people don't like someone that is very imporant to me then we don't have to date. I don't like to hide the ball, it is a waste of time for both people.

Before this boyfriend, my last 3 didn't care for strip clubs. At all. They wouldn't even go them on their own, and that is the truth. My last boyfriend thought that girls were stupid for doing Girls Gone Wild and things like that. So, for you to speak for all men in the ways that you have is silly, you're wrong. Perhaps that is how you personally feel, but don't speak for your whole sex. The last guy I had to dump over this was when I was 19, so that right there says something about the relationship maturity factor.

I'm not saying that strip clubs should be banned or something, hey, if you have a girlfriend that doesn't care or is into that stuff, good for you. People are different, people with similar feelings can find each other and be happy together. I don't smoke, so I sit in the non smoking section - you got me?

I totally disagree though with trying to tell this girl she is wrong or insecure for how she feels. If anything, she should date someone that respects that it upsets her. Strip clubs aren't like oxygen, you don't need them, and if you feel you do then date someone that doesn't mind, it's simple. To have an elephant in the corner this way just creates tension and drama that is so stupid and unnecessary. Once again, same thing with smoking. If you don't like that your boyfriend does it and he won't quit, date someone that doesn't smoke. There are 6 billion people in the world, aren't there?

It's just absurd though, that you automatically label me as "insecure" because I disagree with you about strip clubs. You don't know me. Calling me insecure makes you look pretty ignorant. There are plenty of reasons for a woman to have an issue with strip clubs that have nothing to do with not thinking she is pretty or not trusting her boyfriend (whom I do trust, actually, so wrong again).

And you guys can think I'm a prude or modest about sexual things, and that is fine by me, but it still doesn't make me wrong.

I don't expect any of you to get what I'm saying, though. Your responses proved how much you missed my point. A few of you were even immature enough to attack me and my relationships as if you know any information about them at all. Lame.

But, again, to the original poster: There is NOTHING wrong with how you feel. If this guy can't respect your feelings, then find someone else that will. You were asking for advice, and you are allowed to hear more than one side!

Calm down, your voice is valuable and listened to, but if you reread the OP, she does say SHE is insecure about her b/f going to a strip club, even though it's a one time thing with a friend. She wanted to know how to handle it, and that's what most of us tried to do. Many women object to there men going, not unusual, but I don't think she should break up over it. I do think that she should work on her insecurity, and try to overcome it, as that will break them up faster than one guy night out will. What would you think of an insecure guy who wanted you to check-in with him all the time? If insecurity is the root of the problem, she would worry about almost anything he does. How about a 4 day hunting trip in another state? I really don't think one night should hurt any relationship between responsible adults. I do respect your position though, as you know what you want.

When I was replying, I was speaking to those that were calling me "insecure" for my opinion. I agree with you, that insecurity will destroy a relationship. That is completely true, and it happens all the time (I'm actually a divorce/family law attorney, I see it every day). It had been a few days since I read her post, really I was focusing my reply on the comments that I felt were directed at me.

Personally, I only have the issue with the strip club. I wouldn't mind my boyfriend going on a hunting trip, or to a bar, or a baseball game, or anything like that without me. In fact, I often go to the casinos alone to play poker, and he doesn't mind that, either.

I just asked him his opinion on this thread. I thought he made a valuable and interesting point that I wanted to share.

He said that for him is isn't even about strip clubs, they aren't the issue. It's about respect, and if your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse feels strongly about something, if you really love them, you should respect their wishes on that issue. And he followed it up by saying that he knows that if he ever asked me to do or not do something that was really important to him that I would respect how he felt.

I know, we sit in non smoking section at the restaurant too, but I am a smoker, and its no big deal to hold off because that's what she wants. Its just you should be very careful when making decisions based on issues you have, and projecting them on others. Your b/f's argument is interesting though, and there is a flip side, would you relent, and let him go if he felt as strongly about going, as you felt about him not going? I just don't believe in using the if you love me to control anyone, and that's what it comes down to as I see it. I think real respect is about letting people do as they please and standing behind them. I would never tell my wife not to do anything, that's her call, and I respect that.

It might change some views if the other concerned party attended a stripclub an saw first hand its basically a short visit or a very expensive stay! Speaking of have you met an employee at some of these establishments that you could honestly tell yourself " mom will love to have her in the family" I would love to think so but the reality of it all is very clear once you see the picture outside of the black lites and glitter dusted people there. It's a stripclub. They only want to hang out with you till your money runs out or the next song is her turn on stage. Sounds like fun huh!

Honestly, I'm a guy and I don't like strip clubs. I've been to one 2 times in my life. Once when I was 18 and again about 2 weeks ago. I didn't like it so much the first time but I figured I'll try again since my ex broke up with me. I still didn't like it. It actually made me feel worse. It made me think of my ex's body... and it made me think I wouldn't want any other girl, because I felt like all girls were now slutty since I was in the strip club. But it's not like that. I just don't like strip clubs anymore. I don't want to see women like that. I want to see beautiful woman dressed properly and looking like real women. That's a turn on! Strip clubs suck. So don't make a big deal of it. It's not that serious to change a man. If you love him and he loves you then trust!

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Originally Posted by alkaline

When I was replying, I was speaking to those that were calling me "insecure" for my opinion. I agree with you, that insecurity will destroy a relationship. That is completely true, and it happens all the time (I'm actually a
He said that for him is isn't even about strip clubs, they aren't the issue. It's about respect, and if your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse feels strongly about something, if you really love them, you should respect their wishes on that issue. And he followed it up by saying that he knows that if he ever asked me to do or not do something that was really important to him that I would respect how he felt.

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This really wasn't a situation of he was a regular or frequented strip clubs. He was going in support of a friend who had a recent break up. Men bonding is different than women's. Who can figure why a man would go to a strip club to see boobs and legs so that they can not think about women?

I see it as cheating! I DO NOT understand those who say it is OK when you are in a relationship. And there are guys that exist that will respect your opinion enough to not look at a naked whore. I would dump a guy if he ever went to a strip club, I prefer loyal guys.

Oh God this post is starting up again.

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Originally Posted by snotbubble

I see it as cheating! I DO NOT understand those who say it is ok when you are in a relationship.

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So I am to believe that a guy who goes to a bachelor party is the eqivalen of a guy that that has sex with a woman he is not married to. Okay.

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Originally Posted by snotbubble

And there are guys that exist that will respect your opinion enough to not look at a naked whore.

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There sure are. Many men respect there woman and get very little to no credit for it.

There are also men that respect there women who go to strip clubs.

There are also men that respect naked strippers over stuck up know it all whores.

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Originally Posted by snotbubble

I would dump a guy if he ever went to a strip club, I prefer loyal guys.

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Well I've been to a strip club and ironically I've always been loyal... to a fault. In fact many of my ex girlfriends, some of whom have not been to strip clubs have, in fact, cheated on me. Hmmmmm.

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Originally Posted by chuff

Oh God this post is starting up again.
So I am to believe that a guy who goes to a bachelor party is the eqivalen of a guy that that has sex with a woman he is not married to. Okay.

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I wouldn't care weather my boyfriend kissed another girl, slept with her, or saw her dancing naked- it's all something that should only be with me, and if it's not- it's cheating. This is obviously my opinion and I have found a guy that feels the same way. I think this girl should find a guy that cares about her. If he goes, knowing how she feels about it- he DOES NOT CARE.

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Originally Posted by chuff

There sure are. Many men respect there woman and get very little to no credit for it.

There are also men that respect there women who go to strip clubs.

There are also men that respect naked strippers over stuck up know it all whores.

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But this girl does not want her boyfriend to go to the strip club, therefore he has no respect for her or their relationship. He doesn't care how she feels- he just wants to see naked women, when he can already see ONE that he is with. If she didn't care, then obviously it wouldn't matter if he went or not.

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Originally Posted by chuff

Well I've been to a strip club and ironically I've always been loyal....to a fault. In fact many of my ex girlfriends, some of whom have not been to strip clubs have, in fact, cheated on me. Hmmmmm.

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That is your opinion of being loyal, which seems to be the opinion of the average guy. These are all my opinions and you have your own, so just chill out and quit being so rude.

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Originally Posted by snotbubble

but this girl does not want her boyfriend to go to the strip club, therefore he has no respect for her or their relationship. He doesn't care how she feels- he just wants to see naked women, when he can already see ONE that he is with. If she didn't care, then obviously it wouldn't matter if he went or not.

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This is such a simplistic and unrealistic opinion, and never mind that it's based off a completely false premise. Just to draw out the false information...

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Originally Posted by snotbubble

He doesn't care how she feels- he just wants to see naked women, when he can already see ONE that he is with.

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?? Where did that come from?

The one part that a lot of the women in this thread keep ignoring and the men in the thread keep assuming is known, is that the guy is thinking of going to help his friend. Not because he "doesn't care how she feels and just wants to see naked women."

The point is, everyone's arguing about whether he cares about the poster and their relationship but no one is putting that into context. I'm sure the boyfriend DOES very much care about the poster and their relationship, and he also cares about his friend. So now he's being forced to choose, which is where Tal is trying to talk about trust and respect.

The poster is putting the boyfriend in the position of "choose your friend or choose me." That's dangerous for the relationship and damaging. Everyone talks about the boyfriend's respect (or lack thereof) for the girl, what about his integrity to his friends and their lives and woes and needs? Should he just say "piss off" to his friend because the poster is uncomfortable with strip clubs? Never mind that you can watch an R-rated movie and see the same damn thing (would that be cheating?)

Now, I'm not advocating anything aside from what Chuff and Tal have said. And the proof is in the very first line of the post:

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Originally Posted by bagpuss27

I have a very good trusting relationship with my boyfriend and we have a flat together.

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Really? Because the whole post is about the lack of trust you feel about your man and his behavior that hasn't even happened yet, if it happens at all. You're questioning his motives? His motives are that he wants to help his friend. That's a stand up guy and you should be proud of that. Because it means when you need him, he'll be there.

I understand strip clubs make you uncomfortable. But to put the weight of your entire relationship on one night and to equate it to cheating is making a planet out of a molehill. Discuss it with him, but realize that whatever decision he makes is not a reflection on you, how he sees you, whether he's sexually attracted to you or not or anything else about you. He may surprise you and decide to not go and he may decide to go to help his friend, in which case, shrug it off, realize he loves you, he's not going to "cheat" on you.

I Think You Are Overacting A little, A Man Is A Man And A Women Is A Women, We All Have The Tendency Sometime To Look At The Opisite Sex And Rate Them And That's Ok It Human Nature! I Have Been With My Man For 3 Years And He Has Been To The Strip Club 2 Times, We Use To Live About 1 Mile From This Nude Bar For Years And He Never Went, I Use To Tell Him To Go And Get Exicted And Come Home A Screw The Hell Out Of Me Because I Am Not The Jealous Type !what I Am Saying Is You Can Lead A Horse To Water But You Can't Make Him Drink It!! If You Can't Trust Him Around Other Women There Is No Need To Be Together!

Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.

Going to strip clubs is usually one of the safest places men go because if you touch one of the ladies, the bouncer may just rip your arm off and you'll be tossed out , unceremoniously! And the dancers don't want the guy... they want the guy's money!
And I've been told, "I don't care where you get your appetite, so long as you eat at home!"
(alottto food references, huh?)

I don't know if there's much more you can do. You told him how you feel and he'll have to take that or leave it. If he goes against your wishes then you'll have to decide whether it's something you can live with. If it is, then you'll have to resign yourself to the fact that, from time to time, he may do things that he knows you don't like, without regard to how you feel about it. If it isn't, then the relationship is over and you'll have to tell him that and your reasons for ending it.

They can't go home with them so you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Boys will be boys

I tottaly agree with you alkaline. It is a form of cheating in some level. There are many levels of cheating and strip clubs to me rates at number 5. It is disrespectful and degrating. I hate that media glorifies women as stupid sex objects. The girls at strip clubs are stupid anyway. Most of them end up doing porn and are the most ed up in the head people ever! It messes up a girls mind to be one.

Guys need to learn what it feels like to be a girl in this world. Its hard!

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Originally Posted by alkaline

I think the prior posters were all men. lol. I completely disagree with them.

I'm really anti-strip clubs. I find them to be degrading and insulting to all women, and really offensive. I'm not a hypocrite, I wouldn't go see a man strip, either.

I think it is very disrespectful to a relationship for a man (or woman) to go to one.

I tell every guy I date on the first date that if they EVER go to one, under ANY circumstance, it is over. It is something I feel that strongly about. I dumped a guy for it once right on the spot, and I'll do it again. If someone doesn't respect how I feel about them, and can't give up that one little thing, then I don't want them. I don't think it is asking a lot.

If I were you, I'd probably tell him I don't want him to go, and to respect my wishes and how I feel. I am not controlling any other time, and am always cool about letting guys do things with their friends, so I think if I am against it in that one circumstance it is fair.

Really, I don't think it is cool for him to go. I think he should have more respect for your relationship and feelings than that.

Good luck, I hope he comes to his senses and sees that what he has is better than a stripper.

Oh, and I think it is cheating, too. You aren't alone on that.

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