Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ash123

43 and 25.

That's a risky one....

Still, First breaks always need further closure.
That said, it sounds like you were one of his first girlfriends and he just may need a
little time to see if this is it. Sorry.

---

I know our ages sound risky but we had everything in common and loved doing things together. Trust me I know it was'nt our ages. You would have to see us together and you would know that was'nt an obsticle. Before me he had one serious girlfriend of 2 yrs and before that he had about 6 sexual experiences with different girls . What did you mean by first breaks need further closure?

Most people don't go to 100% silence on a first break.

So, I think you will talk more.

Not sure when.

I honestly think that he needs to be sure of his place in the world. He was only 18 when you met and he is developing emotionally still - but good news is 25 is considered entry-way to the age of adult thinking/behavior... (see also insurance rates ) :-)

Thanks Ash you always seem to make me feel better. Most people just say ITS OVER get over it. I'm not trying to be a total braindead idiot but I think when love is that deep and you haven't spent years ripping each other apart like so people do there has to be some chance at the breaker realizing that you are the one..

Missing, What you are doing is natural. I did the same thing playing out senerios and analyzing what went wrong. You are in the first stage of healing process. You will probably be in this stage for at least 3 months. That is about how long it was before I started feeling a little better. But once you let go of him it becomes a lot easier. I know how hard it is but you have to ask yourself one question why would you want him back after hooking up with that skank girl.

I don't know the name of the song but the lyrics go something like.

" I have to know what I have done wrong, did I always start the fight, did I never treat you right. You can tell me in a letter or the phone, but either way I have to know because I am going out of my mind"

We have all been there !

Everyone does that especially within the first month. I know how badly you are hurting but I really do believe that he is going to come around. From everything you said it really sounds as if he is trying to find out who is as a man separate from you. It also sounds as if he is trying to become the man he believes you need and the man that he wants to be. Give it time. Don't beat yourself up. It will come together the way it is supposed to.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Everyone does that especially within the first month. I know how badly you are hurting but I really do believe that he is going to come around. From everything you said it really sounds as if he is trying to find out who is as a man separate from you. It also sounds as if he is trying to become the man he believes you need and the man that he wants to be. Give it time. Don't beat yourself up. It will come together the way it is supposed to.

---

Thanks Glinda, Its nice to know that I might actually get my sanity back. As for your answer about him trying to find out who he is as a man, that sound very logical. Thanks again you are an inspiration to people in pain.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MissingHim2Much

Thanks Glinda, Its nice to know that I might actually get my sanity back. As for your answer about him trying to find out who he is as a man, that sound very logical. Thanks again you are an inspiration to people in pain.

---

We have all been there. I'm glad I can make you feel a little better. :)

As you all know I lived with my boyfriend for 7 years and we were great together. He left me 3 weeks ago today. He didn't give me a real reason he was leaving. I talked to him once the day after he left and asked him to come over and talk to me and tell me why he really left. He said he couldn't come see me because it would be to hard for him to see me. I ask him what happen to the strong bond we had. He said its still there, ( YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND ) He said. He told me that he would help me out with bills and rent because he knows I can't make it on my own. Now I hear he's seeing a girl at work that's a real mess. She has a bunch of kids with several different fathers and doesn't know who one of thems father is.. anyway not his type at all. Total opposite of me. Ok now all the sudden he won't help me out with the bills and I'm in real financial trouble. He's starting to form almost a hatred for me. He's now trying to buy his way out of our apartment lease so he doesn't have to help me pay rent. Now to top things off I was at Wal-Mart about an hour ago and I ran right into him at the jewlery counter. Buying something for his new girl I would imagine. We just looked at each other but nither of us spoke a word. I just walked away. How can you be deeply in love for 7 yrs and for him to just leave? Then tells me I'm his best friend and our bond is strong. To this hatred kind of behavior he's displaying all in just 3 weeks time. How can he say those things but now seems to hate me?

Hi missing, sorry for yr troubles you are having... I don't think he hates you, he is just guilty right now for his actions towards you. If you don't mind me asking does he or is he using drugs? Please don't take it the wrong way, its just his behavior. Having such a great bond, then to leave and be with someone so out of character for him... just wondering

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hair2007

hi missing, sorry for yr troubles u r having...i dont think he hates you, he is just guilty right now for his actions towards you. if u dont mind me asking does he or is he using drugs? please dont take it the wrong way, its just his behavior. having such a great bond, then to leave and be with somone so out of charecter for him... just wondering

---

No hair he's not using drugs but I sometimes think he has a brain tumor. This just isn't him, I can't explain his behavior. I know him better than anyone on this earth and now he's like a total stranger. It's breaking my heart to see him this way. I'm very worried about him.

Hi missing , I have read some of your post's and to be honest I really think it is time you stop worrying about him and start worrying about YOU. I have a broken heart at the moment too but I am getting better due to the good advise I have been getting from people on here. Really I think you need to let go of this guy even if it is just for now. You will not start healing until you make that decision to yourself. The longer you hold on to the thought of getting back the longer it will take for you to START your healing process. Look after number 1 and that is YOU. Having a broken heart is bad enough without all your financial problems and the fact that he is now not even willing to help you out with this now just shows how much he cares about you at the moment. Don't let this person dictate the way you are feeling , forget about him , and I know it's hard but like I say the sooner you do and the sooner you start worryying about YOU the sooner you will start to feel better in my opinion. I really hope you start to feel better soon.

I agree with friend4u1978,

I, along with many others on this forum who have read all your posts, have started worrying about you.

U need to take a break and just relax, you have a life of your own. Take care of yourself, stay busy and move on.

Thanks friend4u and nicespringgirl,

I totally agree with you about me moving on. And that's just what I plan to do a.s.a.p. I think my biggest problem is that I'm so mystified. I spent 7 yrs with this man 24/7 365 days a year. We were never apart in all that time and I thought I knew him inside and out. Now I'm wondering who he even is. This can't be the man I love. The man that said he loved me with his whole heart just 3 short weeks ago. I feel like he just lied to me for 7 years and this is the real him. How could he fool me for so long?

I hate that you had to see him. My GF of 12 years has left 3 weeks ago. We knew each other inside and out. It was me and her against the world, we were going to fix what are families had messed up. Now I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know if she has someone else but it is a possibility I have to look at. But one thing is for sure she is running from HER problems.

It seems like you are having a tough time, mabye a little to hard. Have you though about therapy or medication. I was already in therapy and started medication today. I refuse to let this take me all the way down so I can't get back up. I have to keep in mind that someone else might need me one day. I owe it to them and myself.

So take care of yourself and don't let this drag on for ever, it can happen.

Yup, advice is always easy to give, but as I'm typing I wish I could take my own advice and move on. My girlfriend left a month ago without telling me why(not joking she just left). And yes I believe the sooner we accept the fact that they aren t coming back the sooner we will start healing. Pray and read your bible it helps

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by stilllearning

I hate that you had to see him. My GF of 12 years has left 3 weeks ago. We knew each other inside and out. It was me and her against the world, we were going to fix what are families had messed up. Now i dont know what is going to happen. I dont know if she has someone else but it is a possibility i have to look at. But one thing is for sure she is running from HER problems.

It seems like you are having a tough time, mabye a little to hard. Have you though about therapy or medication. I was already in therapy and started medication today. I refuse to let this take me all the way down so i can't get back up. I have to keep in mind that someone else might need me one day. I owe it to them and myself.

So take care of yourself and dont let this drag on for ever, it can happen.

---

Thanks stilllearning, I definitely think he is running from his problems also. But we always solved our problems together. Now he's went from this sweet, loving, affectionate, wonderful person to someone I don't even recognize in less than a month. Where did that other guy go??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by oscaratalegra

Yup, advice is always easy to give, but as i m typing i wish i could take my own advice and move on. my girlfriend left a month ago without telling me why(not joking she just left). and yes i believe the sooner we accept the fact that they aren t coming back the sooner we will start healing. pray and read your bible it helps

---

How long were you together? And how was your relationship? Were you close or was it a rocky relationship? If you don't mind me asking

Missing
You really need to stop thinking of this guy , remember you will not start your healing process until you accept he's not coming back. And if he ever was he is no longer a sweet , wonderful person because a sweet wonderful person wouldn't do what he has done to you. Please star yor healing process now , this is for YOU , nobody else. And remember we are all here for you :)

How tempting can another woman be? Say your in a loving, content and seemingly happy realationship all be it finacially stressed. Can another woman tempt you away from your girlfriend?