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-   -   What's the best way to tell my mom I'm pregnant (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=801529)

  • Oct 7, 2014, 08:51 AM
    Synnen
    Have to spread the rep, J9, but I agree. Completely.

    Of course, I think that the family of anyone in the adoption triad should get a little counseling to understand it, but in this case it's particularly imperative.
  • Oct 9, 2014, 03:40 PM
    musiclover217
    I went to the doctor a couple of days ago ( I'm sorry my memory is really bad right now, I have no idea why) the results for the pregnancy test were positive. And my mom is being a little supportive now but still upset and disappointed. I'm sorry I didn't tell earlier I've been busy with my school work.
  • Oct 9, 2014, 04:36 PM
    ScottGem
    That's good news and bad news. More good then bad. It would be better if you weren't pregnant. But at least you are getting care for you and the baby. And its good news that your mom is coming around.

    Have you discussed getting counseling?
  • Oct 9, 2014, 04:57 PM
    musiclover217
    I'm really afraid to ask because your probably going put me down but. Counseling for what?
  • Oct 9, 2014, 05:07 PM
    talaniman
    To help you deal with a hard time in your life.
  • Oct 9, 2014, 05:33 PM
    DoulaLC
    Again... contact the pregnancy resource center in Albemarle.
  • Oct 9, 2014, 07:17 PM
    ScottGem
    I'm not going to put you down but you need to review previous posts in this thread. There are several that discuss counseling to help you deal with the decisions you will have to make soon. To help you and your mother repair your relationship. And so on.
  • Oct 9, 2014, 09:00 PM
    Synnen
    The reason your memory is really bad right now is called "pregnancy brain". I don't know if studies have been done, but a lot of pregnant women have memory issues when pregnant.

    I'm glad you're seeing a doctor. Please keep us posted--it's good that you're concentrating on school! We just want to be able to help you if we can. Even if we're just a place to talk to for you.
  • Oct 10, 2014, 02:17 PM
    Alty
    I can't stress enough that you should look into counseling to help you with this.

    You have a lot of decisions to make, in a short amount of time.

    I'm so happy that you went to see your doctor, and that you're getting the proper care for you, and for the baby growing inside of you.

    I'm also so happy that your mom seems to be coming around. Give her time. It's a lot to deal with finding out that your 13 year old child is pregnant. She's having just as hard a time as you.

    Post whatever you want on this thread. We're here to support you. It may not always seem like that's what we're doing, because we also want what's best for you, and our advice reflects that. Sadly that advice is not always easy to understand or accept, especially when you're young. It's also not always easy to write something in a nice way. The written word is the worst form of communication out there! You can't hear our tone of voice, or see our face, and because of that, things that aren't meant to hurt you, sometimes come off that way. It's a hard way to communicate.

    Please do look into counseling, go to planned parenthood discuss your options with them, and they'll hook you up with a counselor to help you decide what you'll do once this baby is born. I would suggest that your mom get counseling as well, because your decision can affect her as well.

    For now, eat healthy, take your prenatal vitamins, continue to see your doctor, continue talking to your mom about all of this, and continue posting here.

    We really are all on your side, and your baby's side too. We only want the best for both of you.
  • Oct 10, 2014, 06:07 PM
    musiclover217
    I've been talking to my mom about what I should do and I decided to raise the baby. With my moms help
  • Oct 11, 2014, 06:54 AM
    ScottGem
    That's your choice, but I still think you need to get professional counseling before making such a life altering decision. You do realize that your childhood now ends. The baby will come first in everything. You won't be able to hang out with your friends because you will need to care for the baby. Between school and caring for the baby, you will have almost no time for yourself. Even with mom's help. Mom has her own life, she has to work and may need to get an extra job to help pay for the baby. As soon as you are old enough you will need to get a job, further cutting into your personal time. Your mom went through this, what was her experience?
  • Oct 11, 2014, 07:06 AM
    Homegirl 50
    I hope you realize what you are in for. Your childhood is pretty much over, your mom's life is going to change also. She will now have two kids to raise as at your age you are not capable of raising a child.
    I wish you and the baby well.
  • Oct 11, 2014, 07:38 AM
    talaniman
    Life will be tough, no matter what decision you make, but it's a good sign that you, and your mom, are talking, and that's a good start and there is hope for you all through the very challenging times ahead. For sure your mom has already walked in your shoes, and maybe that will help you both.
  • Oct 11, 2014, 02:11 PM
    musiclover217
    To j_9: you were right when you said I would be lucky if my boy friend stayed during the pregnancy the dumped me when I told him. But I guess it doesn't make a difference if he's here or not
  • Oct 11, 2014, 02:40 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Personally as a parent I would want to talk to his parents and let them know what is going on. They need to know. At least have a talk with him about sex and responsibility.
  • Oct 11, 2014, 06:13 PM
    J_9
    I've seen it happen too many times. The boys never stick around. They just move on to get the next girl pregnant.

    You ou have a very long hard road ahead of you. I suggest you check your local hospitals, YMCA's, and counseling centers to see if any of them provide parenting classes. Babies are cute, but they are a lot of work. They keep you up all night. Depend on you for everything. Being a mother is, by far, the hardest thing I ever did and I was 22 and married when I had my first baby.
  • Oct 12, 2014, 02:09 AM
    joypulv
    I just don't think you can possibly understand what is in store for you.
    Being a child yourself, you can't give this new child any more than you were given. Giving the baby up for adoption would be the most loving, unselfish act you could do.
    But I'm just a stranger online. If your mother is warming to the idea of being a mother again (mothering has more than the meaning of giving birth), then I guess there's nothing more to say.
  • Oct 12, 2014, 04:58 AM
    ScottGem
    J_9 wasn't the only one who predicted your boyfriend would run. But that doesn't mean you should let him off the hook. Your mom needs to talk to his parents. They need to know about this and he needs to help financially support your child. Obviously he won't be able to do that for some time. I don't know if your local laws will hold his parents responsible. Child support, but you need to find out. This is all part of what counseling can help you with. You need local professionals to advise you of all the resources available to you.
  • Oct 12, 2014, 04:15 PM
    Sarrah04
    Get rid of it. That's cheaper than raising a child for the rest of your life. Your boyfriend is too young to support you raising a child. As an immature person, you might regret keeping the baby as well later. Go get it aborted. Tell your mom and see a gyne.
  • Oct 12, 2014, 04:20 PM
    tickle
    Sarah,can't you read, OP is three months pregnant, that is too late to abort.

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