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How to breαk things off with α mαrried mαn?
eαsy: BREAK IT OFF, NIP IT IN THE BUD, CUT HIM OFF- simple αs thαt
God you αlreαdy complicαted things αlreαdy by sleeping with α mαrried mαn now your mαking it even more by trying to find α wαy how to do it.. you mαde the decision so DO IT αnd leαve αll mαrried men αlone thαts why they αre mαrried, tαken, keep-your-dirty-hαnds-off, in other words "don't be α homewrecker"
Dear Help82: You just need to stop. You need to stop taking all calls. You need to suffer through the pain of this loss. You need to let your heart break and then mend. You must do this. Otherwise, this affair could continue for many more years. Your entire life could be spent on waiting to "see how things go." He's dangling a carrot in front of you. Recognize it for what it is.
I've been where you are. I was in an affair with a coworker for almost two years. I finally got the courage to end it. It was not easy but it had to be done. I'm now in a phone sex affair with a married man. I know, I have some issues. I think the women who get involved with married men have rock-bottom self-esteem with a broken moral compass. We need to work on our physical self-image as well as our spirits. Anyway, enough about me.
Please heed everyone's advice. Get out. Just end it. Rip the bandage off. Put yourself first. He is putting himself first. Then his wife and kids. Then you. Actually, you're probably after his job and house and yard and pets. You might not even be in his top ten. I don't mean to be cruel but that's how it is. I was there, so I know. You mean NOTHING to him except for some convenient sex. You're a diversion from the stresses of his day. You're a break from the wife/kids/bills.
You're worth more than this. Clean up your life and good things will happen to you.
Greg first off I didn't think what I said was that horrible. I was trying to point out that sleeping with a married man is wrong and it makes you look bad to people. Making them not feel very good about you. Might have been a bit harsh, but I didn't understand her words. Sure I do typo's too, but I understand what I'm saying and hardly ever do I get bad reports about it. I was trying to also help her try to write better. Every post I write is my opnion and weither you think its ''extreame'' or not, doesn't matter. I'm not going to butter up anything. Why lie? All I ever do on here is help, so where are you coming from? I ask things every so often, but I don't have too many questions to ask. I'd rather give advice. Which I do all the time, and do a damn good job at it I think. I think you need to re-examine your statement. I just posed a question a day ago about ''my issues''. Plus, who said it's a race? It's not, get over yourself. If you don't like my answer this time, OK whatever. Doesn't matter. Today's just not a very agreeable day, oh well. Move on tomorrow might be. I'm not hurt at all by your words, I think your being childish for getting so mad in the first place. I liked my advice and sorry but this time, I'm not changing them or saying sorry for it.--oh an I never said I can spell that great. But at least its understandable.
Amen thank you Now What!
help82, I thought you came here for help to get away from this married man, but since from your comments that is not the case why are you here, and what is it your looking for??
Quote:
Originally Posted by help82
So basically you do not want to end this relationship.
Then don't pretend that you do.
You are having an affair with a married man.
Who does not spend his vacactions with you.
He is with his wife and children... and that's where he should be.
Helloooo, wake up.
Married man.
Married.
With another woman.
Married men are a piece of crap and so r women(including me! ) who get into it... u need to wake up and do introspection just the way I did... before it's too late.
Quote:
Originally Posted by diya
Ok so are you callling all married men crap? Better NOT be, my fiancé and I will be married soon and he'd NEVER do anything to hurt me. Visa versa. He is not crap and I'm sorry, but watch you say. He's a good man, just because some men are douches doesn't men all are. That statement could be offensive to some of the men and women on this site.
Please don't read in between lines, first I never said"ALL", secondly, I put a joke on myself too... so take easy... I really hope and wish that you and your fiancé live happy together... GOD BLESS...Quote:
Originally Posted by Raynefreak
Though I have never had an affair, I have worked with couples that have. I am pretty convinced that "sex" is definitely not the only reason that someone has an affair.
When someone's needs aren't being met in their current relationship, they seek elsewhere. This tends to be sex a lot, but it is oftentimes just the emotional part of the relationship that is lacking. Both men and women need to have emotional attachment in a relationship. When it is not present, people turn to neighbors, co-workers, the internet, old flings, and friends. It is just easier to do this. Relationships are broken up emotionally because some people can't cope with everyday stresses very well. In an affair, you don't have the normal everyday stresses that come with a committed relationship. You don't generally have to worry about finances together, or kids, or fighting about where to squeeze the tube of toothpaste. These kinds of things put stress on relationships and instead of working these things out, people take the easy route and look to fulfill their needs elsewhere.
Affairs are not normal relationships. They are novel. They are different from everyday life. I have also heard that they are very exciting. In most cases, however, they would not be able sustain the hardships of a "real" committed relationship.
He is having an affair with you because you are giving him something that he is not getting from his marriage. You are not in a committed relationship with him. You are in a convenient relationship with him. You are looking for help because this affair relationship isn't giving you the things that a normal committed relationship usually gives, and you feel this void. This is a void that you cannot fill with this guy.
You are only getting out of this relationship what he isn't giving his wife, and nothing more. This is convenient for him. You are just fulfilling his needs. Many people seek out committed relationships because we need them, but we find ourselves finding happiness in a relationship by focusing on the other person's needs and trying our best to make them happy.
This man is not trying to make you happy. He is not focusing on your needs. He doesn't need anything from you that he is getting from his wife. You need to realize that he most likely does not care about your needs. If you feel like he is focusing on your needs, I would probably say that he is fooling you into thinking this. He knows that you need to feel certain things from him to keep you going for 3 years +, and he is manipulating you.
You need to find a relationship where your man is genuinely concerned for you and your needs. This is true happiness in a committed relationship.
Good luck and I hope you run from this man, and let him try to fix his marriage (which, by the way, can't get better until you take off).
I don't believe help 82 will be coming back on here. I believe she was probably pushed out by rude people who made her feel very little. It was a sad sight. How are you Auttajasi?
I don't know if it was the "rude" people or the fact that no one was telling her what she wanted to hear. When advice was given - she had an answer as to why it wouldn't work. I got the impression that she had to intention to ever leave this man and wanted someone to tell her it was okay.
There is a fine line between being rude and giving good advice. Not sure if this line was crossed in this question or not. Some people get offended very easily and some can take a whole lot of "you suck." Hope she hasn't left for good.
Greg, what do you think was said to her to make her leave? Who said it?
Hey! I just realized that your initials are GQ. Nice. Very slick. Good to hear from you again too.
I think its hard not to answer a question like this without being a little rude especially when the people answering may be victims of an affair its hard for us not to blow up at people like the op. It's a pretty sensitive subject. I think she only intends to go after what she wants no matter if it hurts the children or wife or not. She doesn't care.
Ah... We better not get into it. But she is in a very tough place and some women are vulnerable to guy's that are married. I could never imagine cheating on my wonderful lady but I could only imagine how this guy plays with that girls mind. But enough said! So many of my posts have been removed from here in defence of that girl "not her decisions" I better let it go. Auttajassi!! I hope your little one is as healthy as mine, I have a post in my history box I would love for you to read... It's "cleanliness of vagina" I think... It is one of the funniest post's I have ever seen. Read it all the way down, and get back to me if you agree it's great.
Oh yeah,"MY INITIALS" GQ It's a good thing I'm amazingly gorgeous. LOL JK
Quote:
Originally Posted by Megg
This is the way you help someone , bashing them. Sounds like you need help!!
She is not a bad person... Love will come your way one day. Try to move on with your life... don't listen to this?? Sound like this person needs to grow up. Maybe her husband has been cheating on her.
Married men with dating them everyone has the right to there own opinion on how it look to others and how they feel you may feel about yourself, but the reflection really falls back on the man who stood in church and accepted vows before God, we as people get mislead all the time into things that we should not pursue, but everything in life happens for a reason, it may be a growth process in your life at that point, through Christ Jesus it's wrong and no sin is greater than the next, I feel within myself that the married guy really lack character for one the lies are never ending once you tell one lie you have to keep covering up for the next one and the next one, as women we cannot be nieve, you as a person have to find a way to build up strength to move forward how will God Bless you with the man of your dreams if your in that stand still in your life, it is a brighter day ahead, take advance of the purpose God has planned for you, and believe me it is not to be with him! God Bless each and everyone of you who reads this, take care!
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