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-   Pregnancy & New Motherhood (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=262)
-   -   Should I be worried? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=752199)

  • Jun 4, 2013, 06:36 PM
    worry_momma
    Should I be worried?
    I am 7 months pregnant and I am taking sharp pains all threw my chest and all down my left side, it feels like a pulled muscle but I didn't do anything to pull a muscle. I woke up like this. The pain has been around for two days now and I was wondering if it's something I should be worried about, should I go see the doctor? Could it be from quiting smoking?

    Ok here it is, I am 17 and yes I am 7 months pregnant please don't judge. My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were young. He is now 20 and I am 17 as I said before. But the problem is my boyfriend and I dated before but he cheated on me and left me for his ex girlfriend. We got back together 5 months after. My boyfriend has shown me that I can't trust him but on the other side he shown me I can trust him.

    I caught him having on line sex on Facebook with a porn star. He downloaded porn on his cell after I asked him not to even look at porn. His ex girlfriend, not the one he left me for, is living with his aunt and she came to the house and she was all over him and him all over her.

    Despite all of that, he works to help me and our baby and his mom, he cleans, cooks, is always there for me, and he hasn't cheated on me again, as I know. Should I trust him or not?
  • Jun 5, 2013, 04:27 AM
    ScottGem
    I wouldn't. He has a long way to go to earn your trust back.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 07:26 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    And most likely he is still looking at porn, many men do, it has nothing to do about you, and most men, when women "order" them to stop, lie and say they will but they don't
  • Jun 5, 2013, 08:13 AM
    Homegirl 50
    I would not trust him. The porn is a small thing the fact that another ex came to the house and they were all over each other is a big reason not to trust him. I know you are pregnant but why are you still with him?
  • Jun 5, 2013, 08:18 AM
    worry_momma
    I agree and he has lied to me about it before and he is always asking me for sex and I am pregnant I don't feel good 99% of the time. When I say no sometimes he get's mad at me. I don' know what to do most of the time, and it don't help the fact of his mom is always on my case. I do everything for my boyfriend and etc I keep the house clean I cook all meals and I still have more time to have me time but is bilogical mom is always saying I don't do anything and I'm lazy etc I am about to have a meantel brake down I really don't know what to do anymore. Could you guys help me

    I am still with him because I am stuck in the times of I love him and I feel like I can't be without him. He dose do a lot for me but I don't feel like it's enugh.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 08:25 AM
    joypulv
    Can you go back to your family?
    That would be best. Even let them yell at you for a while, if that is what drove you away.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 08:30 AM
    worry_momma
    My dad and I are no close anymore do to of things I did in the past and my mom lives in a city I will not raise my son in and my moms side of the family but my nan and a few cousins I have are bad people and I love the place I am at its beautiful peaceful and safe, I don' want to leave the place I'm at but I don't know how to handle my boyfriend and his mom
  • Jun 5, 2013, 08:46 AM
    Homegirl 50
    You don't need to be under this kind of pressure with baby coming so soon. It sounds like you are trapped. You are in a bad place no matter how pleasant you say it is and I would imagine it will not get better. You might want to consider going home to mom.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 08:57 AM
    worry_momma
    I cook,I clean,I make him supper and it's made before he get's home from work he get's to relax and I am working my off for him. His family looks at me hen something isn't done but all I ask is for a little help, on weekends he always go's out with friends and one of his friends I do not trust but he is always brings him over. He is always saying he works his off at work and he is bringing in the money and all I do is sit on my when I do more then he even realizes. And it sucks because I am always sick
  • Jun 5, 2013, 09:01 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Is there nowhere else you can go? You need to stand up to him. How does he react when you try to talk to him? This is nit a good place for yo to be and like I said it will only get worse.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 09:07 AM
    worry_momma
    I try to talk to him about important things but he eather don't listen to me, pretends he's a sleep,or changes the subject. And I asked him to help me clean yesterday but he called his friend and got him over here, and went 3 wheeling then after his friend left he asked for sex and I didn't want to but he would have been mad and I couldn't stand to hear him naging me etc so I just gave him what he wanted untell I got sick
  • Jun 5, 2013, 09:13 AM
    J_9
    Sounds like a very disruptive and combustible relationship. This one is going to smoke and burn whether you get out now. However, getting out now would save you the stress to deal with your baby. Stress like this is not good for the fetus you are carrying.

    It's apparent to those of us who are not involved in the situation that he wants to have fun and get his rocks off. He doesn't care about you or this baby.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 09:21 AM
    worry_momma
    I need to clean the house again I made this spotless yesterday but he messed everything up again and his mom is coming home at 7 and she would be mad if I don't get this place spotless again. But I just want some time to myself some time to take a shawer and relax but this place is a mess. What should I do? And yes it is stress flu and yes it will be hard with my son which is born in augast 20th
  • Jun 5, 2013, 09:26 AM
    J_9
    Stress flu?

    At your tender age of 17, you are not prepared mentally, emotionally or physically for this amount of stress. You think you are stressed now? Wait until this baby comes. Hopefully you will have a vaginal delivery, but most of the 17 year olds that I deliver are by cesarean section because their young bodies are not prepared to deliver a baby. That will put you at a 6 week recovery wherein you will not be able to lift anything heavier than baby, and you won't have the energy for all of this work.

    You are being used as a slave, but you don't see it.

    Get out now to other family or friends before you spontaneously combust.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 09:29 AM
    worry_momma
    Stressful* and you I agree I just don't know how to tell my boyfriend or his family.I don't know where to go or how at that I have so much baby stuff now and I don't know how I would get off the island I have no money

    I am 7 months pregnant should I be getting morning sickness still if not then hwat could be making me sick

    I don't care anymore my loving boyfriend can clean the stupid house.I am sick and today is going to be a me day I don't care who says what ill tell them up
  • Jun 5, 2013, 01:48 PM
    JudyKayTee
    I read your other thread - it could be stress.

    What does your ob/gyn say?
  • Jun 5, 2013, 02:40 PM
    worry_momma
    I haven't been to a dr about it yet and you I can see how it maybe stress
  • Jun 5, 2013, 02:53 PM
    J_9
    You haven't been to a doctor your entire pregnancy?

    Some women have morning sickness all throughout pregnancy, yet stress would be my guess in your situation.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 03:28 PM
    worry_momma
    No no I just haven't been to a dr about the sickness I'm all up to date on my appontments for the prenantcy
  • Jun 5, 2013, 03:31 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Whew! Okay, most likely you are just stressed out because of your situation. This can be harmful to baby, the stress accompanied by your age. You might want to contact your doctor about this.

    Did you tell the Doctor that you are sick "all the time"?
  • Jun 5, 2013, 03:37 PM
    worry_momma
    Worrys#1
    My prenatal gave me a sheet of what to worry about and I have noticed a couple things that are almost the same as the sheet says like seeing spots, I see white spots all the time and I have bad headache's but that's normal for me I have felt bad pains in my lower stomch and I am only 7 months pregnant I have bad hot flashes and I have a lot of pains. Should I see my DR about this or is it something I shouldn't be worried about?
  • Jun 5, 2013, 03:38 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Are there shelters around there you can go to? Does your mother know you are having a baby? What about friends?
  • Jun 5, 2013, 03:44 PM
    J_9
    Yes, you should see your doctor. Your blood pressure needs to be checked as these are symptoms of Pregnancy Induced Hypertension.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 04:07 PM
    worry_momma
    OK thank you

    My mom knows yes and so dose my dad and I think if I decide ill move ith my dad
  • Jun 5, 2013, 04:35 PM
    Homegirl 50
    You said you and your dad are not close anymore. Will you be able to go there?
    I think you need to make up your mind very soon, like before that baby is born. This situation will only get worse once the baby is born.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 04:54 PM
    worry_momma
    You dad and I are not that close but we are talking and getting things back to the way it was. And you I might go back
  • Jun 5, 2013, 05:47 PM
    Homegirl 50
    I think you should. This is not only about you. There is this baby to consider. Where you are is not a good environment.
  • Jun 5, 2013, 06:50 PM
    niallover101
    Tell him he has to be serious about this relationship. You guys have a baby on the way and he needs to grow some balls, and learn how to treat a woman. If you are having a son, he needs to show your son how to be a man and how to be treated. And if you have a daughter he needs to think about how he would like it if a guy was cheating on HIS daughter the way he did to you.
  • Jun 6, 2013, 06:36 AM
    worry_momma
    You I did but that as around when I was 4 to 5 months pregnant

    And yes I agree ill talk to him and tell him where to and how to get there
  • Jun 6, 2013, 06:54 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by worry_momma View Post
    and yes i agree ill talk to him and tell him where to and how to get there

    That's good. If your dad is willing to take you, go with him and make sure this guy pays child support. Keep us posted. I wish you a healthy and happy baby.
  • Jun 6, 2013, 07:05 AM
    talaniman
    I have been following your posts and think the others are right on when they tell you that this is an unhealthy stressful relationship, and a 7 month pregnant female should have nothing but love and support through this time.

    Hope you and your dad can get to that point because the baby daddy and his family don't appear willing or capable to give you what you need.
  • Jun 6, 2013, 07:27 AM
    J_9
    My other concern is bringing a child into this world in such a toxic relationship. I feel sorry for the child who WILL be unloved.

    The daddy will not love the child as he does not love the mother, and the mother (the OP) will become resentful of the child. I see it time and time again.

    Maybe it's time to rethink keeping this child.
  • Jun 6, 2013, 07:54 AM
    worry_momma
    I am going to keep my son, I was loved and rased pretty much buy myself and I yes made a fue mestakes but I will and am taking care of my son the way I couldn't be loved. My son is my world and nothing will ever change that yes I am young but my son (name removed) will be rased loved and treated right I promise you that
  • Jun 6, 2013, 08:19 AM
    JudyKayTee
    And how are you going to support this child you've already named - and posting that name info on a public site is foolish and dangerous.
  • Jun 6, 2013, 08:35 AM
    ScottGem
    As Judy mentioned posting real names is foolish and dangerous, so I removed it.

    You've already acted foolishly and immaturely by getting pregnant at a young age. I am very sure you feel a great deal of love and high hopes for this child. But unless you were born into a wealthy family, you are condemning this child to a disadvantaged childhood. Loving him is all well and good, but if you can't provide for him, love just ain't enough.

    I'm not saying he will turn into an axe murderer or even that he will turn out badly. But the odds are against him from the start. At the very least, he may grow up resenting you for not being able to provide the things his friends have.
  • Jun 6, 2013, 08:51 AM
    JudyKayTee
    You are sentencing your child to the life you are leading -
  • Jun 6, 2013, 12:42 PM
    worry_momma
    I am trying that's all hat matters
  • Jun 6, 2013, 12:48 PM
    Homegirl 50
    We are talking about a baby, trying is not all that matters. You have to "do" If you are set on keeping your son, you need to stay with your dad and he has to be willing to help you with your son. The father of this child needs to be made to pay child support. Did you graduate high school? If not you need to look into finishing school. This is going to be hard, It's going to take more than just trying.
  • Jun 6, 2013, 12:51 PM
    worry_momma
    I am going to go back to school and I have a job I go to all my apponments and I am talking to my dad about moving with him OK
  • Jun 6, 2013, 12:55 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Talking with your dad is good. I hope things work out with him because having this baby in the situation you're in is not good. I'm sure you are not making enough money at your job to properly care for this child, You need to make sure the courts have set up child support from the father.

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