On oct. 24th I had sex with my friend who pulled out at a perfect time. However that same night my boyfriend and I had emotionally intense sex and he came using the pull out method, I think I remembered it as a total rush and a surprise. He claimed to *** in a wash rag an a while later we did it again without him washing off. Who has a greater chance of being my babies daddy seeing that I'm 19 weeks and I believe I was ovulating between oct.24 to 27th. My boyfriend and I share a special kind of sex and my friend an I was just in the heat of the moment and a total one night stand plus I'm certain he came on my belly>

There is NO way of telling until you can conduct a DNA test AFTER the birth.

"Pulling out" means nothing, absolutely nothing. It is NOT a good method of birth control.

"A special kind of sex" has nothing to do with who could be the father. It doesn't matter if the sperm are wearing little red bow ties or are feeling frisky. It takes only one sperm, even a sleepy one, to fertilize an egg.

The only way to find out who the baby's father is is by doing a DNA test after the birth.

Hmmm I know I just don't know how to tell my boyfriend we need a DNA test

Hmmmm, you're going to have to mention it to him in eight months or so if you want to know who the father is. The baby's looks or hairline or nose shape is no indicator of who the father is.

And maybe your boyfriend needs to know he can't trust you.

I was thinking maybe I should ask my friend first seeing that's all I could take right now and hopefully he's not the father. Is there anyway I could get a dna test before birth

No.

I would say that mathematically your BF has a greater chance of being the father. That is based on you and him having sex twice that day and you and your friend only once. The math would indicate that the chances of your BF being the father is 66.6% and your friend 33.3%. Math aside there may also be biological differences that come into play, no pun intended. If your BF has a low sperm count and your friend doesn't then the chance it is your friends baby would be as great or greater. I guess it's a bit late to inform you that the pull out method isn't totally effective.

Hmmm the guilt eating me alive I can't continue like this I need to know asap. I'm praying to god it's my bf's because ultimately the next way around is going to be a scandal. I learn my lesson don't let temptation consume you. I'm considering an amniocentesis

I would just tell the BF he is becoming a dad and move on with your life. If at some point in the future the BF doubts the child is his he can have a DNA test done and if the child is the friends baby you can cross that bridge when you get to it. The more people that know about this the more likely the BF will find out. Just keep it to yourself! Chalk it up to lesson learned the hard way and move on. From this point on you need to do what's best for the child.

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Originally Posted by Home_Inspector

From this point on you need to do whats best for the child.

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What's best for the child is to know his real father, especially in case of medical complications.

All you're doing is giving her justification for covering her own a$$.

I would just wait until the child is born and let the boyfriend believe it is his until that time. Once the child is born you can test the DNA and then see if it is indeed the BF's. If it's the friends then you have some explaining to do. If it's the BF's then never let him know about the friend or he will rightfully never trust you. But I agree with Wondergirl if it ends up being the friends you MUST let the child and friend know about it! And yes I am offerring her a way to get out of this and save some face. If she tells the BF it may be someone else's and it ends up being the BF's child then she will most likely end up a single mom and is that what's best for the child? I don't agree with what she did nor do I condone being unfaithful but I think she should wait until the child is born to tell the truth after she knows who the child belongs to.

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Originally Posted by Home_Inspector

I would just wait until the child is born and let the boyfriend believe it is his until that time.

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Sweet.

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Once the child is born you can test the DNA and then see if it is indeed the BF's.

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How's she going to explain to the boyfriend why she wants a DNA sample from him?

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And yes I am offerring her a way to get out of this and save some face.

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Which means you don't give a hoot about the child, even though you said you do.

"How's she going to explain to the bf why she wants a DNA sample from him?"

Getting some hair, saliva or dead skin cell for a DNA test isn't to difficult to do.

"Which means you don't give a hoot about the child, even though you said you do."

How does providing her a way to save face imply that I don't give a hoot about the child? Secondly I never said I did give a hoot for the child, but I would expect her to and to put the child first. I agree with you that if she discovers the child is her friends, she should tell the child and her friend as well as her BF, but I wouldn't tell the BF it may not be his until I knew for sure that it wasn't. If she tells the BF it may not be his and looses him because of it and the child ends up being his, what is the result? What is gained? A single mom with a clear conscience with a child in a single parent household. Is that necessarily the best for the child? I would have to know the BF before I could answer that. That scenario could be avoided if she says nothing until she knows for sure that it isn't his.

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Originally Posted by Home_Inspector

I would just wait until the child is born and let the boyfriend believe it is his until that time.

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That is just plain cruel!

Yeah... lets let this poor guy think this baby is his, when really there is a chance that it's not.

DNA testing can only be done after the baby is born.

OP, you really need to come clean and tell your boyfriend the truth.

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Originally Posted by Home_Inspector

Getting some hair, saliva or dead skin cell for a DNA test isn't to difficult to do.

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You ARE a murder mystery author, aren't you?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You ARE a murder mystery author, aren't you?

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He just watches too much Dexter and Law and order.:rolleyes:

"You ARE a murder mystery author, aren't you?"
No but I did stay at a Holiday Express last night! :)

There are many ways that DNA can be tested. Here are a few ways: toothpicks, used handkerchief/Kleenex, clothing items with sweat, hats with sweat, used dental floss, dirty underwear, envelope or stamp that was licked, cigarette butt, used tooth brush, and fingernail clipping to name a few. Most any material that contains biological matter on it can be used to obtain a DNA profile for paternity testing purposes.

I love the way this has moved from answering her questions to flaming me. But if it makes you all feel better please continue. I will sacrifice myself so you can feel better. :P

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Originally Posted by Home_Inspector

"I love the way this has moved from answering her questions to flaming me. But if it makes you all feel better please continue. I will sacrifice myself so you can feel better. :P

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I'm not flaming you.

Why are you encouraging lying and deceit?

I will tell him right after I receive the results from my friend's test and if it's my bf's baby life goes on like normal if it's not he might leave my *** although I accepted his child

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Originally Posted by slimchick

although i accepted his child

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Huh?

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Originally Posted by slimchick

i will tell him right after i receive the results from my friend's test and if it's my bf's baby life goes on like normal if it's not he might jus leave my *** although i accepted his child

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That is so completely unfair to both men. Who would blame him for leaving after you cheated, let him go on for 9 months believing he was that father, let him be there either during or shortly after the birth thinking it was his child, probably putting his name on the birth certificate or else having to explain right then and there as you sign it why his name isn't going on the birth certificate. That is just so, so wrong.

And then what if it is your friends? You're going to keep it from him all this time and then just drop it on him when you ask for his dna? After he's missed out on having the option of being a part of everything with you?

I was always going to get a DNA and yes I've cheated but omg he's so innocent... oh please he lies so much even about having a daughter. Know your info

Did i say i was keeping it from any of them? I said there is prenatal parternity tests

Know my info? OK... oh shoot. My crystal ball is broken today... how about if you want us to take things into consideration, you tell us instead of expecting us to read your mind and know that he's lied to you.

How does him lying make it OK for you to lie? Is that really your justification? Ever heard the saying two wrongs don't make a right?

I get that you plan on having a dna test. My point was that you need to be honest with both me NOW, not months down the line when you have to explain why you want their dna.

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Originally Posted by slimchick

i will tell him right after i receive the results from my friend's test and if it's my bf's baby life goes on like normal if it's not he might jus leave my *** although i accepted his child

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Yes, this right here, I interpreted as you're going to wait until after you get your friends dna to tell your boyfriend.

You really don't see the problem with that? It's a very real possibility that this baby is NOT your boyfriends. Just as much as it is that it might be his baby. The responsible and right thing to do is tell both men now that they may or may not be the father. It's not fair to your boyfriend to lead him on when he might not be the father. And it's not fair for your friend to have to be in limbo with your boyfriend assuming he's the father when he might very well not be.

I would tell him when i can . I don't need his dna when i could get my friend's own. I didn't lie when he asks which most men do i'll get the test

Paternity Testing : American Pregnancy Association

Here's a site with a few things you should know before you risk per-natal testing. And I would have course do more research if that's the route you want to talk to your doctor about

So you're going to get DNA from your friend first and find out through amniocentesis whether he's the father or not.

If your friend ISN'T the father, that means your boyfriend IS, and you won't say a word to your boyfriend that you cheated on him with your friend. Everything will be perfect then.

If your friend IS the father, you will immediately tell your boyfriend that the baby you're carrying is your friend's and how the baby got there.

Once I know the paternity he'll decide whether he wants to stay or not I'll get my test before the baby's born and my friend and I never intended on having a relationship an we never will if he's the dad he just has to take his responsibilities if he's not it's definitely my bf's an he'll decide if he wants a relationship or not. Either way my boyfriend will get the truth

So no matter whose baby it is, you'll tell your boyfriend you cheated on him.

Firstly I did all that, I'm not from America and it's a 1 % chance of mis carriage I can't wait till birth because I need to know so I'll know how to approach things

If my friend is I'll have to tell my boyfriend because it's not his responsibility either way I intend to tell him of my one night stand I just can't deal with the consequences right now during my early stages of pregnancy

I still really believe that you should tell your boyfriend about this.

It is only fair. I'm not saying that these next months for all three of you will be easy. It won't. In fact, your boyfriend might leave you, but at least the truth ill be out there.

I would tell him now. He will hurt no matter what, but atleadt he will know that this may not be his baby.

Please don't wait for your friend to take the DNA test first.

Come clean. You owe him that...

Please use punctuation. Your posts are nearly impossible to read.

Will your friend willingly be a father and pay child support if it's his baby?

Will your boyfriend willingly be a father and pay child support once he knows you cheated on him?

Yeah he has a baby girl which he denied at first

Yes. As soon as I can.

He will support his child although I cheated. My friend ,I don't know I haven't confronted him yet

DNA tests can be conducted before birth. Chorionic Villi Sampling (CVS) during the 10th to 13th week of pregnancy and Amniocentesis during the 14th to 24th week of pregnancy.

DNA tests can be conducted before birth. Chorionic Villi Sampling (CVS) during the 10th to 13th week of pregnancy and Amniocentesis during the 14th to 24th week of pregnancy.

Risky and expensive. My friend was pregnant for the third time at the age of 41 and wanted to get checked for Down's. She lay quietly on the operating table and watched the doctor come closer and closer to her abdomen with an impossibly long needle...