OK... well... I am officially pregnant and I am planning on telling my parents this coming weekend at my boyfriend in case anything happens his parents can't get into trouble it will be on their property. Well... if my parents kick me out do I have to go stay with a family member if his parents aare more then willing to take me in? Also if they do not kick me out I am going to tell them that I can not stay here because they will put so much stress on me for my choice that they will make me lose my baby on purpose! If my dad tries to hurt me or is threatening me and I call the cops because, this will be the second time they where called on him! Can I stay with my boyfriend and his family? Because, I want my baby to be around his father he/she is going to need one and my boyfriend will be a great one!! I want them to have what I never had! So if you could get back to me anyone with any edvice I would GREATLY appriciate it!

How old are you?

I gather you made your mind up that you want to keep and raise your baby... How does your boyfriend feel?

If you are so worried about your parent actions I would do it on nuetral teritory. Not boyfriend property. Contact your school counselor and see if perhaps she/he will meet with you all. Maybe even your doctor if possible?

Are you positive that your parents will be so negative against your pregnancy? Because I was in your position last year and I knew for sure I would be kicked out or my parents would stress me out to make me lose the baby. But it wasn't that way at all, I told them that I was pregnant and at first they were hurt, but after they had talked they realized that I was pregnant and there was nothing more that they could do. I was 3 months pregnant and both of my parents were overjoyed to become grandparents. Now that the baby is here, I can't get her away from my mom or dad. But I was 18, how old are you? Hope things turn out okay for you and congrats on your baby!

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Originally Posted by altenweg

how old are you?

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15

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Originally Posted by sweet1028

Are you positive that your parents will be so negative against your pregnancy? Because I was in your position last year as a matter of fact and I knew for sure I would be kicked out or my parents would stress me out to make me lose the baby. But it wasn't that way at all, I told them that I was pregnant and at first they were hurt, but after they had talked they realized that I was pregnant and there was nothing more that they could do. I was 3 months pregnant and both of my parents were overjoyed to become grandparents. Now that the baby is here, I can't get her away from my mom or dad. But I was 18, how old are you? Hope things turn out okay for you and congrats on your baby!

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Yes they will kill me and I am 15

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

I gather you made your mind up that you want to keep and raise your baby...How does your bf feel?

If you are so worried about your parent actions i would do it on nuetral teritory. not bf property. contact your school counselor and see if perhaps she/he will meet with you all. maybe even your doctor if possible?

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OK and yes me and my boyfriend want to keep the baby we are very excited but I am homeschooled so... their are no couselors

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

I gather you made your mind up that you want to keep and raise your baby...How does your bf feel?

If you are so worried about your parent actions i would do it on nuetral teritory. not bf property. contact your school counselor and see if perhaps she/he will meet with you all. maybe even your doctor if possible?

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And my boyfriend is so incredably excited he is always rubing my stomach and telling me how everything will work out

GOD bless the three of you.

Your boyfriend is rubbing your belly and he feels like such a man right now because he made a baby.

His ego is soaring but honey,the reality of the situation will be very different when you can't afford diapers and he can't support either of you and you have a baby who keeps you up at night and your social life is gone.


Its all sweet and wonderful now but you have no clue what can happen in the future. Most pregnant teen mothers end up alone,with no support system from the father.

Talk to a counselor at planned parenthood and think of your other options before you take this life changing step.

You do have options and you must consider them and understand that while it sounds beautiful and you think this will cement your love with your BF ,the opposite is more often the case.

How old is your boyfriend?

How are the two of you going to raise a child together?

Where are you going to get the money?

Do you even have any idea how much a baby costs. How much a home of your own costs? Food, insurance, clothes, etc. etc. etc.

Where are you working? How much do you make? How about your boyfriend?

Have you thought any of this through?

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

How old is your boyfriend?

How are the two of you going to raise a child together?

Where are you going to get the money?

Do you even have any idea how much a baby costs. How much a home of your own costs? Food, insurance, clothes, etc. etc. etc.

Where are you working? How much do you make? How about your boyfriend?

Have you thought any of this through?

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My boyfriend is 15 his parents are going to help us out me him and both of his parents work I know how much they cost I basically raised my nephew idont know how much he makes I make 8 an hour

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Originally Posted by shannonbug

my boyfriend is 15 his parents are going to help us out me him and both of his parents work i know how much they cost i basically raised my nephew idont know how much he makes i make 8 an hour

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If his parents were responsible adults,the first thing they should have done was go with you to your parents and discuss this situation with them.Before they took it upon themselves to give you advice and tell you they will help you.They are wrong to not involve your parents!

And no you can not just go live with the boys family and if they have any good parenting skills they would never allow it anyway.

And social services ( child protection agency) gets involved if they would throw you out, since they can't legally do that.

Before I side with artlady, did his parents actually tell you themselves that they would help? And to what extent? Because when we were planning to move my boyfriend went on and on about how his dad would help us. Then later when he actually told his dad, he threatened to cut him off if he moved across the state with me. (we still moved, but we couldn't afford a place together so I'm renting my own room while he lives with his older brother. I make way more than 8 an hour and trust me, there's no way I'd be able to support a baby right now. Unless I moved into my car and stopped eating. Then, maybe, I might be able to support a baby... ) I know some people are able to have a baby at 15 and make everything work but its hard.
Let's just say that his parents do help. Who is going to watch this baby while everyone is working? How are you going to finish school? Who will watch the baby while you are at school? You're only 15, so my guess is you (or your bf) can't drive yet. How will you get to the hospital if his parents aren't around and you or the baby needs to go to the dr's asap. And how are you going to afford a dr's visit even? Do you have health insurance of your own? I would imagine you're currently on your parents but if they kick you out I don't see why they would keep supporting you any other way. Can you get health insurance for your baby? There's just a few things to consider. I could go on. I'm sure other people have other things you have to consider too.

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Originally Posted by shannonbug

my boyfriend is 15 his parents are going to help us out me him and both of his parents work i know how much they cost i basically raised my nephew idont know how much he makes i make 8 an hour

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Raising your nephew and paying for all his expenses are two different things.

Are you in the States?

If so, do you realize that just giving birth to this baby can cost anywhere from $15,000 and up?

How are you going to raise the money for that?

Also, there's furniture, clothes, diapers, bottles, supplies, doctors visitis, etc. etc.

Write me a list of what you think you need in order to have this baby, then the costs, then show me how you think you'll be able to afford it, even with his parents help.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Raising your nephew and paying for all his expenses are two different things.

Are you in the States?

If so, do you realize that just giving birth to this baby can cost anywhere from $15,000 and up?

How are you going to raise the money for that?

Also, there's furniture, clothes, diapers, bottles, supplies, doctors visitis, etc. etc.

Write me a list of what you think you need in order to have this baby, then the costs, then show me how you think you'll be able to afford it, even with his parents help.

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All excellent points.I would only add the emotional cost of being a single teenage mother is a toll that you can't begin to anticipate.

I wasn't even a teenage mother. But I feel like I have some idea of what its like (not completely, just a little bit) because my mom was never around so I practically raised my little siblings for the first 3 1/2 years of their lives. I didn't have to worry about the financial part much, but let me tell you, just being there is exhausting. We had an after school schedule. We'd get home between about 3 30-4. we'd all have a snack together. Then I'd send my littlest siblings outside while I helped my kindergarten aged brother with his homework. Then I would start dinner while they were playing (NOT an easy thing to do when you have to mediate fights over who gets to play with what every 5 minutes). Then we would have dinner (any idea how hard it is to get a toddler to eat their veggies? Or anything else they decide they don't like) then clean up after dinner and get all the dishes done. Then it was finally time for a bath, bedtime story and bed time. Bed time was 8 30. But, it usually took at least a half hour of putting them back into bed repeatedly before they actually stayed there. So finally, by 9 or 9 30 I would be able to start my homework. I know you'd only have one child for now. But its still a lot of work. Babies need almost constant attention. How will you work, go to school, and still have time to care for your child?

I hope you decide to stay in school even though it will be hard on everyone. Education is really important. If you and your boyfriend would have actually sat down and talked about what would happen if you were to get pregnant at such a young age, you two would not have been having sex in the first place.

Girls who have had babies young usually regret it later. Others live happily ever after, but it takes a lot of work especially if the parents don't agree or want to help in any way. I hate that you have to grow up so fast, and I really mean that because once that baby is here everything changes. No more parties, dances, hanging with the girls, or doing what normal teens do. Your life will be revolved around that little one. So I wish the best of luck and hope that everything works out okay for the three of you.

I think we should all say a prayer for this mess of a situation. I have TWICE and will again. They can't even drive to the doctor by themselves. How can two children raise a newborn? All I can say is: Lord please help everyone involved. Especially the father with anger issues.

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Originally Posted by jmjoseph

I think we should all say a prayer for this mess of a situation. I have TWICE and will again. They can't even drive to the doctor by themselves. How can two children raise a newborn? All I can say is: Lord please help everyone involved. Especially the father with anger issues.

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I always do! Good that you do also.Its got to count somewhere.

Here is a link I want you to look at sweetheart.I think you need to understand some very important things.
I want the best for you ,really.we all do.
The real cost of raising a baby | BabyCenter

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

And no you can not just go live with the boys family and if they have any good parenting skills they would never allow it anyway.

And social services ( child protection agency) gets involved if they would throw you out, since they can't legally do that.

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They would through me out you mean on the streets?

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Originally Posted by justcurious55

before i side with artlady, did his parents actually tell you themselves that they would help? and to what extent? because when we were planning to move my bf went on and on about how his dad would help us. then later when he actually told his dad, he threatened to cut him off if he moved across the state with me. (we still moved, but we couldn't afford a place together so i'm renting my own room while he lives with his older brother. i make way more than 8 an hour and trust me, there's no way i'd be able to support a baby right now. unless i moved into my car and stopped eating. then, maybe, i might be able to support a baby...) i know some people are able to have a baby at 15 and make everything work but its hard.
let's just say that his parents do help. who is going to watch this baby while everyone is working? how are you going to finish school? who will watch the baby while you are at school? you're only 15, so my guess is you (or your bf) can't drive yet. how will you get to the hospital if his parents aren't around and you or the baby needs to go to the dr's asap. and how are you going to afford a dr's visit even? do you have health insurance of your own? i would imagine you're currently on your parents but if they kick you out i don't see why they would keep supporting you any other way. can you get health insurance for your baby? there's just a few things to consider. i could go on. i'm sure other people have other things you have to consider too.

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They are going to help us all the way and his sister lives literally right nest door and when she's at work her husband is home when he is at work she's home they both have 2 separate cars. And I am homescholed I could still keep up my boyfriend he is staying in school no matter what he is 16 in 3 months. His parents are going to get helath insuraqnce for him/her me well make it work

Hun, do you realize the physical dangers of being pregnant at your age?

There are real health hazards to both you and the baby.

What if something goes wrong and you HAVE to deliver early? Who is going to pay the millions of dollars for the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) if the baby has to stay in there weeks or months?

I deliver babies for a living, I have delivered babies to 15 year olds. I am speaking from experience.

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Originally Posted by shannonbug

his parents are going to get helath insuraqnce for him/her me well make it work

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If you are in the United States, his parents can't get insurance for the baby as they are not the biological parents nor are they the guardians.

OK, let's just say that his family is going to pay for everything. They pay for all of the health care for you and the baby (that you'll still have to be responsible for getting even if they give you the money), they pay for food, diapers, clothes, furniture, toys, and everything else. How long is that for? Do you get this wonderful free ride forever? Is it until you finish school? Until the baby's first birthday? What if you and your boyfriend break up? And don't you dare say it can't happen. It happens all the time. Would his family support you and your baby if you weren't dating their son anymore?
And has his sister and husband really volunteered to play taxi for you? What about when you realize you're out of diapers in the middle of the night? Or if the baby gets sick and you need baby tylenol at 3 am? You said all of these people work. How many times do you think they are going to want to get up to drive you around. And 16 doesn't come with an instant driver's license. You have to take the test first. Your boyfriend being 16 in 3 months means nothing until he gets his license. And even then, there's more costs for you guys. He'll need to have car insurance. He'll need his own car for getting you and the baby around when the rest of his family isn't there. The baby will need car seats. And that's not a one time deal. You have to get different car seats as they get older. Then of course the car will need gas. Do his parents ever expect any of this stuff paid back? The site artlady gave you estimated $10,000 just in your baby's first year. Are they really willing to just give it all away?
You have to really think about these things. If they really are going to help you out and give you a free ride, great. You don't have to worry about money. You still have the health concerns J_9 mentioned. You're still going to have to care for the baby. And who home schools you now? When I hear homeschool I always think of the parents teaching because that's what I've always seen. You said your parents would kick you out. So who will home school you then? That might even be harder than regular school with a baby. Do you really think you will have the time and energy to do it on your own with a baby? It sounds easy now. But its not.

shannonbug,your name suggest that you are young,and if you are pregnant,telling your parents is good. You can stay with his parents only if you are not a minor,if you are a minor you have to stay at home,because your parents will get in trouble if they kick you out. And whatever you do don't run away,the world is a dangerous place.

Tryintolive, she says in one of her posts in this very thread that she is 15. So it would be especially dangerous for her to run away. Glad you mentioned that, it never even crossed my mind.

I haven't read all of the comments, as I am sure everyone is trying to talk sense into you.

I was a teenage mother. I was 17 and let me tell you that is a world older then you even are. You have to be in school FT, you may not graduate, you probably won't graduate on time.

Motherhood is something special, exhausting, depressing and draining on you physically, emotionally and definitely financially. You will not be with your boyfriend long enough to see your child become an adult together. I guarantee it, in fact, you will probably not even see the end of the pregnancy still together as a couple.

This is a choice that you can not undo, once you commit to having a child at the age of 15. It will change your life forever and it will not be a change for the better. Any childhood dreams that you had for yourself are now out the window.

You have no idea what you are in for and you will probably not listen to one lick of advice that you are given here. I do want for you to remember this time because when you are 30, you will look back and know exactly what a fool you were in this very moment. You will regret this decision for yourself and your child, who had to suffer right along with you, because you were too ignorant to know how foolish you were.

You can change this choice now, but you won't have another opportunity.
You will regret a choice to be a teenage mother and you will feel ashamed for regretting a gift of a child.

There are many, many couples that have been on the adoption waiting list for a long time.

I've seen the horrifying results of girls going against their nature and their heart with the other "option" of abortion. It is heartbreaking.

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Originally Posted by YoungHyperLink

There are many, many couples that have been on the adoption waiting list for a long time.

I've seen the horrifying results of girls going against their nature and their heart with the other "option" of abortion. It is heartbreaking.

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Did I miss something?

No where did I read that she's thinking of adoption or abortion.

Redhed, Artlady: I apologise if I used this as a chat forum disregarding the reputation system.
However, suggesting that the girl take counseling with Planned Parenthood seems to me to at least imply abortion. No way they are going to tell her to keep it, and they aren't great at promoting adoption, either. Check their main page.

As j_9 stated, delivering the baby at her age may be more dangerous than abortion. It's always possible for medical procedures to go wrong but if she went to an experienced doctor an abortion might be the safer option. I'm not saying that she should have an abortion or put the baby up for an adoption. What she decides to do is entirely up to her. But I do believe that she should be well informed about all of her options. Whether she decides to keep it, have the baby adopted, or go for an abortion she should be well informed. Whatever she decides to do, its going to be a life altering choice and she needs all the information she can get to make her choice.

Younghyperlink, planned parrenthood doesn't ONLY offer abortion. I agree, that they do actively advocate it, but its not the only thing they offer.
They offer adoption information, and once the baby is born she can get on birthcontroll with them and take classes to help her learn more about safe sex.

Wow,what a pickle.
I don't think she's considered abortion or adoption..
And just to make this clear Im not going against expert advice(J_9) but Im sure there has also been many successful deliveres at her age?I know were all just trying to talk sense into her but I think were scaring the living day lights out of her.A bit of scared is good but she's already worried sick about her parents.
What do you want to do shannon?
Are you sure you can handle this?Without your parents?No financial help?Your boyfriends 15.. Hes not going to around forever.Im not saying you shouldn't keep your baby,Im saying you should think of the welfare of your baby,because at 15 with a baby and no parents,I can't see it being all OK as your ill infomed boyfriend may think.

It's a matter of emphasis and promotion.

The bottom line is that the damage is done. There is no easy way out, or "right" answer at this point. Regardless of what they decide , it's going to impact this young girl for the rest of her life. GOD bless this situation.

Holly, yes, I agree there probably have been plenty of successful births to 15 year olds. But that doesn't change the medical fact that there can be increased risks for her at her age.
And youhyperlink, that's fine that you're against planned parenthood but this isn't the place for a debate over it. I've seen plenty of church groups emphasize and promote NOT having abortions. It only seems right that there's going to be another side promoting them.

Nm