Does anyone know if it is possible for the father of a baby boy to have him circumcised without the mother's permission?
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Does anyone know if it is possible for the father of a baby boy to have him circumcised without the mother's permission?
Papers have to be signed by at least one parent. I signed for both of my kids circumcisions, and my husband didn't want them to have the procedure. So yes, one parent can sign the papers against the other parents wishes.
Are you married to the parent?
Ahh good question. Thanks :)Quote:
Originally Posted by bushg
Quote:
Originally Posted by bushg
No we are not married and I will leave my partner if needs be to protect my son from having the procedure. I can't believe that they would circumcise a baby unless the mother agreed to it
If you aren't married and can't come to some sort of an agreement on the issue, they won't do it.
If you were married, all they need is the consent of one of the parents.
Consent for this procedure must be signed by only one parent. You should address your concerns with your doctor and the hospital staff.
Thanks for giving the right answer.. lol. I thought it would matter whether you were married.Quote:
Originally Posted by J_9
To the OP : listen to J_9!
Gold I think that you need to do whatever to protect your child. I applaud you, more women need to stick up for the children. Let the boyfriend know that it can always be done, later if need be. But I have 3 nephews that are not circumcised and they are adults now, and never no problems. Also we have 3 great nephews that are not circumcised and 1 is 5 the other 2 and 1 is a year old. IF I had known what I know now. My boys would have never been touched, I listened to the doctor and now after eductaing myself I feel that it is useless to do. Good Luck
Thanks everyone for your answers and advice. I really didn't think they could do it unless they had my permission. Now I know otherwise, I will get some sort of legal advice to see if I can stop him from doing it.
Also, lik J_9 said, talk to your hospital staff. I am sure they will try to work with you and your partner the best they can. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by goldnugget
Quote:
Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
Thanks nautical. I have already spoken to them with him and even though they said that circumcision was not routine and also not necessary, he is still adamant about finding a doctor to do it so I will have to get some sort of legal advice. Perhaps the hospital might be able to advice me.
It is possible. It never hurts to ask :)
Why are you against it? Maybe if you researched why doctors perform it in hospitals, then you might not be reserved about it. I think besides it being a Jewish/Christian (some Christian) and Muslim thing, it's proven to be a very health thing too. I saw Steven Lewis talking about it at the aids convention. It's recommended, I think, to protect men from possible forms of infection? But of course, no one should be forced to have this done to their child. Your spouse should understand this. You two should talk about the pros and cons and then decide together.
If you do not sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital he has not legal rights until a judge grants them after a DNA test. I am not saying it is the best choice or the right choice. It is however, one way to protect your son from circumcision.
Sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital? I have had two kids and have never had to sign such a paper, but then again I was in/just got out of labor, so I might not remember.Quote:
Originally Posted by babieface85
All you need is one parents consent for the circumcision, and the hospital will do it.
Why are you so against it first of all?
A lot of mothers don't think they have the right to make such an important and personal decision for their child... You can always have one done later, but its not like you can reverse the procedure later...
Quote:
Originally Posted by alkalineangel
True you can get it done later, but Doctors suggest earlier is better, because babies, like getting their umbilical cord cut off, will not remember getting this done. You should speak to your doctors because a reason it's done in American hospitals is because it prevents men from getting some really nasty infections out there. And it will not harm your child. But again, no one should ever force you to do this. You should explain the reasons you don't want this done, but also hear out the reasons your partner does.
Yeah, his opinions count just as much as yours. That's why he is your partner
Goldnuggett They would not do this to a man with out putting him to sleep, but they will do this to your baby, with out so much as a pain shot. I say hell no don't let them do it. Tell your partner to go have some skin cut off his penis without a pain killer or awake and then see if he thinks a little baby should have this done! I don't care if it remembers it or not. I was stupid to allow this for my kids, If you are having doubts don't do it!
If the father is circumsized then he did go through it. Many american boys too... I don't really see what the big deal is. And think of it this way, the father probably wants his son to be like him, just as you would want your daughter to be like you. How would you like it if your husband (Partner) went and did something without your opinion? Because if you do go behind his back without talking to him, then you are only going to make things worse.
I think more and more people in general are getting this done... especially in the Western world because it's "cleaner" and safer for men. But I'm not saying that a man who does not get this done will get infections, but I am saying, as Doctors and hospitals do, that it is less likely to get certain infections on the penis after this procedure is performed.
You still haven't explained your logic for not wanting to get this done.
It's okay to not want your child to have this done... but have a good reason for your partner. And the child hurting is not a very good reason, because they hurt too when their cord is cut off, but that is for the best. Think of a good reason why you don't want this to be done, and then tell your partner.
From a male perspective I can understand that if a father has been circumcised then more than likely he may want his son to be circumcised too.
Perhaps rather than totally dismiss it you can have some discussion about it. Involve your BF, your doctor etc. and weigh up the pro's and cons. Don't just dismiss it without learning about it first. That is naivety.
At the end of the day though both you and the father need to do what's best for your child. You won't know that unless you make and informed decision.
Wow now I feel bad for making my boys go through that. I mean, I always knew that they didn't do anything for pain, but just you saying that makes me feel bad for some reason.Quote:
Originally Posted by bushg
I wouldn't say it is exactly a bad thing though. Circumsized boys are easier to keep clean. And with my boys it healed in under a week. Remember babies have a really good immune system (compliments of the mother) so they heal really fast. Aside from the pain of the actual procedure, the "wound" will/should heal pretty fast.
There are other things that are done to babies that can't be that comfortable, such as taking their tempurature rectally (which I know, doesn't compare to circumcision). There are lots of people that find it quite painful to have anything shoved in their rectum, don't you think it hurts babies too? I'm not making excuses for anyone, or anything like that, just throwing some things out there :)
I have 3 nephews and 2 great nephews that are not circumised and they have never had 1 infection that is my logic! Just think about it we were created the way we are for a reason. Why cut off parts of our bodies, surely every man is not so abnormal that he needs part of his penis removed, just thionk about it. Doctors are saying that the male body is flawed. I don't think so.
There are pro's and cons of it like any procedure and I think it is best to source those pros and cons from a medical expert. We can sit here all day and give our personal opinions but that may not be in the best interests of your son.
And in my opinion the father has as much a right to his opinion as you. Don't simply ignore his views.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bushg
Uh... some people also smoke all their lives and never get lung cancer... but this does not rule out the people that do. So I'm sorry, but lol, you are not being logical! That being circumsised DOES protect people from certain infections (this is why in America, doctors do this). But this does not mean that those who do not get this done will result surely in an infection.
You see?
I have had uncircumcized boyfriends. They never mentioned an infection, but they did say that when they sweat they get a sort of "gunk" in there. In my opinion, that is kind of gross. I mean yeah sweating is normal, but to get a "gunk" in your genital area cannot be that good.
I have heard that uncircumsized boys do not have any risk for infection, and then again I have heard that they do. I have also heard that sometimes uncircumsized boys can get painful erections in the future. I don't know how true all of that is, but I had the procedure on my boys done, just in case.
I think this is precisely why she needs to talk to someone who is an expert on all this. Nautical star with all due respect your post above just states things that you have heard. It may or may not be true. But speculating it here won't help the OP make and informed decision.
I know it states what I have heard. That's why I put "This is what I heard".. or something to that effect.Quote:
Originally Posted by Skell
Bottom line, the best thing to do is discuss the pros and cons with a doctor. At least discuss the issue. If you make a decision for both you and your partner, and don't let him have any say, it could cause problems.
And I'm not saying your wrong or you didn't state you 'heard' it. I was just using it to illustrate a point.
A decision on medical procedures such as this are hard to thrash out over an internet site. It really should be an individual decision base don medical advice with the best interests of the child at heart.
Apparently we rated at the same time too :)Quote:
Skell agrees: We posted at the same time. I agree.
Just in case I get dust, smoke etc in my lungs I could wear a mask all of the time. I might get cancer so do I take chemo now. Do you see my point? My husband or no one else have rights to my child, when they are going to torment them.Everyone knows what my view are. Here are some links for the op. Circumcision - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia and Circumcision Information and Resource Pages Good luck
You don't think the father of your baby has any rights to your child? If he is the father, he has just as much rights as you do. -not trying to fight- :)Quote:
Originally Posted by bushg
Nope nali I brought my children in this world. Their well being is my final say period. He knew this before we had kids and accepted it.
Comments on this post
bushg agrees: doctors opinions vary just like the rest of the worlds do, not every doctor believes in circumcisions. Thank god my neices didn't that is why her little boy is still intact!
Now your making it sound as though getting the procedure done is a bad thing. Why?
I have two nephews who have had the operation done and I'm sure they are just as perfect as your nieces kids.
Im circumcised and I still feel my old fella is intact as you put it. In fact I wouldn't change the way he looks for all the tea in china. OK.. maybe an inch or two.
But you kind of sound like it is a real bad or dirty thing. That's your view but that's it. No more correct than anyone's else's.
Well that was nice of him. Most fathers would try and fight for what they think is right (whether what they think is right is actually right or not.. lol).Quote:
Originally Posted by bushg
When it comes to the kids my husband usually gives me the final say as well, but I usually hear him out first, and if he makes good points and proves his case, I will most always go with whatever his idea is on whatever subject.
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