Ask Me Help Desk - The right age to get pregnant?

It actually goes both ways kind of princess. Both older (over 40s) and teens run the same types of risks.

So 20-30 area is best? (theoretically)

Theoretically speaking yes. There can be complications at any age for a variety of reasons, but the risks are highest for gals under 21.

Right, so my mam and grandma just scraped it. Thanks =]

Princess, I know that you are asking what age is a good age to have a child and I just wanted to tell you about myself. I got pregnant at 18 and had my daughter at 19. I didn't have any complications with my pregnancy, thankfully. I didn't, however, realize how hard it would be to raise a child.

I work two jobs and go to school full-time now and have been for the past three years. It is Extremely hard. I was not emotionally, mentally, or physically ready to have a child, but I did anyway.

When I had my daughter, I didn't have a diploma, a job, a stable relationship, or any family support. I have now started working towards my goals and have been supporting my daughter, by myself, while trying to reach my goals and it has been very rough for the past four years and it will continue to be rough until I complete my degree.

So, my advice is to wait until you have found the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with, wait until you have a good job and you don't have to live paycheck to paycheck, wait until you have finished college, or are close to finishing. Don't rush this, I know that you want someone to love you and it is the greatest feeling in the world to have the love of a child, but it is very hard raising a child.

I wish that I would have waited a few more years before I had my daughter. (not that I regret having my daughter at ALL) I wish that I would have been financially stable and that I would have a father figure for my daughter, but I didn't wait. It has made me into the person that I am today, but sometimes it isn't fair to my daughter when she wants to go to Chucky Cheese and I can't take her because I don't have the money or when she asks me where her daddy is and I have to tell her that he is sick and he can't see her until he gets better. (I chose to have a child with a deat beat drug addict and I chose to have a child without a stable job, she didn't choose this life, it was given to her) It sucks that I am not financially stable and I live from paycheck to paycheck. I do support my daughter, but like I said I have to have two jobs in order to do it. It is not easy at ALL. I never have money left over at the end of the month to put into a savings account.

You sound like you are mature for your age and that is great, but don't rush into anything. You have so much life ahead of you. You don't want to have to struggle in life if you don't have to. Good luck.

I have read the entire thread and do have to admit I jumped the gun when I posted my first thread. I do apologise for any misgivings I just took a few things a little badly :o. before I put my huffy post in there were some awesome replies, I am very new in here so the moral of the story, which I have learned is "read the whole thread before you jump in too quick".
In response to j_9 no I am not a nurse, I just know first hand what pregnancy can do to a woman's body, as mine was torturous, I was 35 and now 37 and about to do it again :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

You are ready to have a child when you are emotionally and financially ready... my list of requirements are as follows:

You are Married.
One of you has a permanant full time job.
You have your own house.
You have 2 cars. (One for the worker, one incase of emergency)
Both you and your husband agree that having a child would fulfill your life.
You have enough savings for emergencies.
You have already started a schooling fund for your child.
You have been to parenting classes before you have even conceived.

I could go on and on but I'll stop there. Having a child is a big decision, it's not about whether or not YOU want a child it's about how well you can take CARE of the child.

Most common mistake with teens is that they think having a baby will be 'cute'.
Yeah I'm sure they are cute for a while but once you have no sleep, no social life, no money, no friends, no partner to help you. Things go downhill fast.

You don't need to be pregnant there are a lot of solo mothers out there an partners that have a family that anit married I don't no where you come from but here you don't need to be

Quote:

Originally Posted by babwgreen123

you dont need to be pregnant there are alot of solo mothers out there an partners that have a family that anit married i dnt no where u come from but here you dont need to be

Did you read the list Shaz wrote? Don't you think those things are important if you're considering bringing a child into this world? I do.

A lot of people do without those things, but only one person suffers, the child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Did you read the list Shaz wrote? Don't you think those things are important if you're considering bringing a child into this world? I do.

Alot of people do without those things, but only one person suffers, the child.

Well I think to bring a child into this world all you need to provide is a stable home an invroment finance to provide for the child and supporting family and friends and love for the child you don't need to be married an still be in a loving relationship with your partner an raise the child the same way

Quote:

Originally Posted by babwgreen123

well i think to bring a child into this world all u need to provide is a stable home an invroment finance to provide for the child and supporting family n friends and love for the child u dnt need to be married an still b in a loving relationship with ur partner an raise the child the same way

First off, chat speak is not allowed on this site and there is a spell check tool available.

Second of all, it does effect the child if there is only one person raising them. It effected me growing up (with a single mother) and it is effecting my child growing up without her father. Yes, there are some people that can raise a child successfully with just themselves (which I am doing), but a child needs both it's mother and father in it's life. Bottom line.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babwgreen123

well i think to bring a child into this world all u need to provide is a stable home an invroment finance to provide for the child and supporting family n friends and love for the child u dnt need to be married an still b in a loving relationship with ur partner an raise the child the same way

As I said before, if you cannot commit to marriage then you cannot commit to a child.

A marriage can be ended, a child cannot so I see a child as a much bigger commitment than marriage and there are people out there who refuse to get married but will happily pop out a kid!

Quote:

Originally Posted by babwgreen123

i dnt no where u come from but here you dont need to be

I think you got that the wrong way around sweetie :)