Ask Me Help Desk - I think abortion should be illegal.

Some women who have abortions planned to have a child... some were forced to, read into it more.

Also, What about the millions of children already looking to be adopted. Is it right to let a newborn baby have the right to good parents that they have been waiting their whole lives for? Adoption isn't always the best answer. Adoption is just as horrible to the mother and to the relatives as abortion, and anyone who has ever given up a child will tell you the same.

Either way, it is not something that should be up to a government to decide... each person has their own story and their own reasons. We are moving ever so slowly away from any rights at all...

I am against a baby being aborted simply because the mother didn't want it. That is a lame excuse. You had sex, you suffer the consequences. I would never abort a baby just because it was unplanned or I didn't want it.

But as for the baby having extreme health issues, I feel it is best for the baby, and the emotions of the mother, to abort the baby. Could you imagine holding your newborn child, and then not too much later have the doctor tell you the time he was pronounced dead? If I was that person, I would never ever get over it.

As for the rape issue, I can't pick a side on that. Someone previously posted they had a child that resulted from a rape, and loves that child more than anything. But on the other hand, some women don't want that reminder of that horrible time in their life. Like I said, when it comes to rape, I can't pick a side.

Alka--have to spread the love.

Great post.

I had an unplanned pregnancy. I chose ADOPTION. That decision has cost me more than you would ever believe.

I got pregnant using 3 forms of birth control, with a guy I'd been with for 2 years, conceiving the second time I'd had sex.

I thought of abortion, I nearly got an abortion, but decided that I couldn't live with myself.

In so many ways, that would have been easier than adoption--you really have no idea until you've faced the choice.

There are as many valid reasons for abortions as there are women getting them. Don't judge them until you've stood in their shoes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

I am against a baby being aborted simply because the mother didnt want it. That is a lame excuse. You had sex, you suffer the consequences. I would never abort a baby just because it was unplanned or i didnt want it.

But as for the baby having extreme health issues, I feel it is best for the baby, and the emotions of the mother, to abort the baby. Could you imagine holding your newborn child, and then not too much later have the doctor tell you the time he was pronounced dead? If I was that person, I would never ever get over it.

As for the rape issue, i can't pick a side on that. Someone previously posted they had a child that resulted from a rape, and loves that child more than anything. But on the other hand, some women dont want that reminder of that horrible time in their life. Like I said, when it comes to rape, i can't pick a side.

I understand the how torn you feel here. There are many reasons I think abortion is bad, but because of my beliefs in free choice, and an option for hopeless cases, I still remain Pro-choice. It's a tricky subject. If only the people who are anti abortion would aknowledge the fact that you don't have to have an abortion or even think it is right to say you are pro-choice, there wouldn't be an issue. Like I said previously, I don't think I could ever have one personally, but I understand when people would be forced to choose it, and that is what makes me pro-choice. And whether they choose to admit it or not, those who say that abortion is fine in the cases of rape, or whatever, are pro-choice too. You can't have exceptions, it is legal or it is not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

I had an unplanned pregnancy. I chose ADOPTION. That decision has cost me more than you would ever believe.

I got pregnant using 3 forms of birth control, with a guy I'd been with for 2 years, conceiving the second time I'd had sex.

I thought of abortion, I nearly got an abortion, but decided that I couldn't live with myself.

In so many ways, that would have been easier than adoption--you really have no idea until you've faced the choice.

There are as many valid reasons for abortions as there are women getting them. Don't judge them until you've stood in their shoes.

I meant it is a lame excuse if you have knowingly been having unprotected sex. People that get pregnant that way, and don't want the baby, had to know it was going to happen sooner or later.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

I understand the how torn you feel here. There are many reasons I think abortion is bad, but because of my beliefs in free choice, and an option for hopeless cases, I still remain Pro-choice. Its a tricky subject. If only the people who are anti abortion would aknowledge the fact that you dont have to have an abortion or even think it is right to say you are pro-choice, there wouldnt be an issue. Like I said previously, I dont think I could ever have one personally, but I understand when people would be forced to choose it, and that is what makes me pro-choice. And whether they choose to admit it or not, those who say that abortion is fine in the cases of rape, or whatever, are pro-choice too. You can't have exceptions, it is legal or it is not.

In that case, I believe it should remain legal.

If only people were better educated. Our sex-ed system really is bad. I wish they would stop being so PC and tell our kids the cold honest truth...

Quote:

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

If only people were better educated. Our sex-ed system really is bad. I wish they would stop being so PC and tell our kids the cold honest truth...

No kidding. That is a huge issue.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

I meant it is a lame excuse if you have knowingly been having unprotected sex. People that get pregnant that way, and dont want the baby, had to know it was going to happen sooner or later.

Nothing against you by the way... I was just trying to say you aren't alone in being so unsure about it all.;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

Nothing against you by the way...I was just trying to say you aren't alone in being so unsure about it all.;)

No no I didn't take offense whatsoever. I understood what you were saying :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

If only people were better educated. Our sex-ed system really is bad. I wish they would stop being so PC and tell our kids the cold honest truth...

This bears repeating. Don't even get me started on the "abstinence only" crap. :mad:

Oh that irks me as well. I will make sure my children are well educated.

My kids, if I ever have them, will be fully educated on sex and it's consequences.

And any boy that so much as looks at my daughters will have their knees broken :)

My husband jokes about pulling the shot gun out and shiunning it on the first date... lol...
But I agree. I will make sure they know everything I can tell them..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nosnosna

My kids, if I ever have them, will be fully educated on sex and it's consequences.

And any boy that so much as looks at my daughters will have their knees broken :)

I have boys, aka "the future lookers".. lol

I am happy to have my daughter in a great school system that teaches abstinence, STDs and the like. After her 3 week course this last spring, she is in no rush to have a boyfriend.

I had to sign a release after reading through the curriculum, it was amazing what they taught. I learned some if it in COLLEGE.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I am happy to have my daughter in a great school system that teaches abstinence, STDs and the like. After her 3 week course this last spring, she is in no rush to have a boyfriend.

I had to sign a release after reading through the curriculum, it was amazing what they taught. I learned some if it in COLLEGE.

I wish some of the school systems around here were like that.

Here in the bible belt I was amazed at what they taught. I couldn't believe the half of it. If we chose not to let our children participate we had to teach it at home and they still had to pass the test to go on to the next grade.

The basic run through of sex ed for us was:

Here's the basic premise.
You probably shouldn't actually do this stuff.
If you're going to, at least be safe. We've got condoms here in the guidance office, and the health department has them free. Or you can go out and buy your own.
Condoms are good, but they can break or fail in other ways.
Here's a picture of a really advanced case of chlamydia. He used a condom and still managed to get this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

my husband jokes about pulling the shot gun out and shiunning it on the first date...lol...
But I agree. I will make sure they know everything I can tell them..

Tell him it doesn't work. :) I had two friends in high school (they were sisters) who's dad did this. The younger one was 14 and dating a 24 year old... she lost her virginity to him... she liked him because he was in a "gang"; the TPC (Trailer Park Crew). I wish I was joking.

Not to say your kids would behave the same way, by the way!

See, where I grew up, if the parents didn't want them to do it, they didn't have to do it, period. There were so many kids who's parents didn't want them to go through the class, and a couple of them ended up walking in our graduation ceremony wearing an extra large gown because they were pregnant.

Luckily, my mom was like "you're taking the class, end of discussion".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nosnosna

The basic run through of sex ed for us was:

Here's the basic premise.
You probably shouldn't actually do this stuff.
If you're going to, at least be safe. We've got condoms here in the guidance office, and the health department has them free. Or you can go out and buy your own.
Condoms are good, but they can break or fail in other ways.
Here's a picture of a really advanced case of chlamydia. He used a condom and still managed to get this.

Wow. What a way to "zip" right through sex ed. I was lucky enough to get a thorough class. I started sex ed in 5th grade and had it until I graduated.

It is soooooooo different now, at least in our school district.

It wasn't ACTUALLY that quick... it was twice a week for a semester, in place of whatever the normal activity of the day would have been in gym.

Some of the questions on my daughter's test (she was in 7th grade) rivaled what I had in college Microbiology. I won't be a grandmother for a LONG time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nosnosna

The basic run through of sex ed for us was:

Here's the basic premise.
You probably shouldn't actually do this stuff.
If you're going to, at least be safe. We've got condoms here in the guidance office, and the health department has them free. Or you can go out and buy your own.
Condoms are good, but they can break or fail in other ways.
Here's a picture of a really advanced case of chlamydia. He used a condom and still managed to get this.

We didn't even get that...
We got "Sex is the devil...the devil burns people who have sex...fear the devil"
"there is no such thing as condoms, they are the devil"
"there is no such thing as birth control pills, they are the devil"
"Sex will kill you and mutate your babies, it is the devil"

Seeing as we were intelligent, it wasn't all that effective...
Luckily I had smart parents too..

The baby is just another VICTIM of the RAPIST.....why should it be "ok" to abort it based on the fact of rape??

Yes it may be a horrible reminder of what happened (for 9 months), but the woman does not have to keep it, she can give it up for adoption.

Which would be easier to lay on your conscious- night after night??

Abortion- is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

Quote:

Originally Posted by go-ask-mom

The baby is just another VICTIM of the RAPIST.....why should it be "ok" to abort it based on the fact of rape??

Yes it may be a horrible reminder of what happened (for 9 months), but the woman does not have to keep it, she can give it up for adoption.

Which would be easier to lay on your conscious- night after night??

Abortion- is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

For some people the decision to put their child up for adoption is as hard as deciding whether to abort it or not.

And the reminder of that horrible time in their life doesn't only last 9 months, it lasts the whole child's life. Every time the mother looks at that child she could be reminded of that, that is if she decided to keep it.

Not to mention what the child might endure. Not every child gets to go to a loving home. Some of them are forced to sit in overpopulated orphanges waiting for a home that never comes. Some of them may never find one, and then they come out bitter and hurt.

As has been said many times in this thread already, You can not say that abortion is bad, if you have never been forced with the decision yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

For some people the decision to put their child up for adoption is as hard as deciding whether to abort it or not.

And the reminder of that horrible time in their life doesnt only last 9 months, it lasts the whole childs life. Everytime the mother looks at that child she could be reminded of that, that is if she decided to keep it.

That decision can be togh too, I never said that it wouldn't but THAT wasn't the issue (thats a whole other thread- )....I'm saying, that if they are indeed going to go thru life as you suggest: (That the baby is a "constant horrible reminder") then they NEED to put it up for adoption! And with that outlook, I wouldn't think the choice would be a tough one. The choice is clear!

BUT.....
If thru counseling they can overcome those feelings and actually learn to LOVE the baby, and know that the baby IS a victim just like they were.....then keeping it may be a good decision. ....if they are going to treat it as just a "horrible reminder" thru its entire life, then that is NOT a healthy loving environment to even THINK about raising a baby in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

not to mention what the child might endure. Not every child gets to go to a loving home. Some of them are forced to sit in overpopulated orphanges waiting for a home that never comes. Some of them may never find one, and then they come out bitter and hurt.

As has been said many times in this thread already, You can not say that abortion is bad, if you have never been forced with the decision yourself.

INFANTS do NOT sit and wait, there are more couples w/loving homes WAITING for infants than there are infants waiting for loving homes... unfortunately, some will not take anything but... it's the older children years 5> that are the hardest to find homes for... and almost impossible once they reach the pre teen ages. But we're not debating the issue of timelines in infant adoption...

AND... one does NOT have to actually "live" or "experience" something in their life to KNOW whether it is wrong...

Do you have to first experience starvation, drug/ physical /mental abuse, etc etc... to know these are wrong?? NO. And I don't have to MURDER someone to know that -THAT is also WRONG.

Can you speak for all of the young children, teens, who are still in orphanages waiting to be adopted?

Have you been in the position of abortion or adoption?

Until we actually sit in the driver's seat of the pregnant person, we cannot truthfully say what we would or would not do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by go-ask-mom

That decision can be togh too, I never said that it wouldn't but THAT wasn't the issue (thats a whole other thread- )....I'm saying, that if they are indeed going to go thru life as you suggest: (That the baby is a "constant horrible reminder") then they NEED to put it up for adoption! And with that outlook, I wouldn't think the choice would be a tough one. The choice is clear!

BUT.....
If thru counseling they can overcome those feelings and actually learn to LOVE the baby, and know that the baby IS a victim just like they were.....then keeping it may be a good decision. ....if they are going to treat it as just a "horrible reminder" thru its entire life, then that is NOT a healthy loving environment to even THINK about raising a baby in.

Just because of where the baby came from doesn't mean the mother wouldn't love it, it would just be a reminder. I could never not love my kids under any circumstance. I agree with the fact that we can't say what we would do until we were in that position. I can say I wouldn't abort/adopt all I want, but I may change my tune if I ever get into that particular position. You just never know until you get there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by go-ask-mom

INFANTS do NOT sit and wait, there are more couples w/loving homes WAITING for infants than there are infants waiting for loving homes.....unfortunately, some will not take anything but....it's the older children years 5> that are the hardest to find homes for....and almost impossible once they reach the pre teen ages. But we're not debating the issue of timelines in infant adoption....

Quote:

Originally Posted by go-ask-mom

AND...one does NOT have to actually "live" or "experience" something in their life to KNOW whether or not it is wrong.....

Yes, but one would need to experience being in this position to understand how they would "really" feel on the issue. Adoption is not the "easy answer" that so many people make it out to be. Adoption is just as brutal as adoption sometimes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by go-ask-mom

Do you have to first experience starvation, drug/ physical /mental abuse, etc etc...to know these are wrong??? NO. And I don't have to MURDER someone to know that -THAT is also WRONG.

Again, the debate isn't whether it is WRONG... if you had read previous responses, you would understand my stance... the debate is whether it should be LEGAL. When it comes to health issues like this, it should never be the decision of the government. What about a mother who becomes pregnant (planned) with her 4th child. She soon finds out that the child has a dangerous condition that will ultimately kill the mother in childbirth, and the child will not thrive once born. Should the mother neglect her other children and choose the life of a child that will not live, robbing her already living children of the mother they so need, or should she abort the baby? There are situations out there besides the ones the media and anti-abortionists want you to hear. Not everyone seeking an abortion is using it as a form of birth control..

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