I think we have a junior Masochist in love with an abusive sadist...
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I think we have a junior Masochist in love with an abusive sadist...
You better have someone with you (meaning at least being around a lot of people... because he did it once... it will only be easier a second time... he'll make you believe its YOUR fault you got pregnant even though he didn't even use a condom.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
I do not think he will hurt me he might get mad at me for getting pregnant but I am hoping he will be OK with it
You better tell your family too...
Honestly I've known too many losers like him... you are in danger anytime you are with him... no matter what supposedly made him mad before... this is going to be far wose because it means he will owe you half of everything he makes far at least the next 18 years for child support... and likely even longer in the UK. Does he even have a job?
That why I think that having a abortion will be better then keeping the baby as he will never be happy about it and more then likely go off when he finds out but I want him to know as he is the dad
Yes he as a part time job
This gets worse and worse -
I'll ask again - who is paying for the abortion?
Part time job... not even good enough to get a full time job... real good pick in guys there... can't even get his own place with that... could probibly fit everythign he owns in a bag.
You still don't understand a word of what everyone here has been telling you...
Well every society needs someone to do the nasty low paying jobs nobody else will do... and she's on a fast track to being that person.
It will be me as it's my fault that I am pregnant
Yes right...
Clearly not the sharpest pencil in the cup.
I'm torn between passive-aggressive, not the sharpest knife in the drawer and a troll.
Still deciding.
The question of who will pay for this surgery is apparently never going to be answered and so -
In order to end the pain I will vote yes, it is your fault.
Smoothy agrees with me.
Now if WG agrees it's 3 out of 3.
At best it's 2 out of 3 and the "yes, it's your fault" side wins.
Maybe we could all chip in and send a check (cheque)?
No it my fault no need to tell me that I know it
I am going to see what he says tonight when he comes over and go from that
Have been thinking -- it might really be MY fault. It's as much mine as it is yours, Amy.
I think the stagnant British and European Economy is her fault too... maybe we should inform the British Prime Minister?
You know what I mean by it being my fault
That he will get in jail or like that if anyone finds out etc
No, the economy problems are MY fault. Amy had nothing to do with that.
Who did something to make jail a possibility?Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
Going to meet him now to tell him
Thank you everyone for your help
Amy
I guess there is even more to this than she's admitting to.
Maybe something we said will sink into her head before he shows up... but I'm not holding my breath. You have to want help and accept it for any advice to have value.
This just confirmed what smoothy was saying. He has been asking for sex for some time, and you felt you would lose him if you didn't give in. But you were under age (the age of consent in the UK is 16. Plus since he was 18 that makes it worse). That means that you couldn't not legally consent and he should have known better.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
No it is NOT your fault. He refused to use protection. He coerced you. You were underage. So the fault lies mostly with him.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
I agree with the others, as soon as he can latch unto some other girl, he will. Even if you did get an abortion and no one ever knows about it, eventually he will tire of you.
I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it. Your first clue will be what happens tonight when you tell him.
If he offers to stand by you or even pay for the abortion, those will be good signs. But if he gets mad at you, especially if he throws you out, you will know that he doesn't care about you and you are better off without him.
In that situation you need to tell your parents and report his rape to the police.
Let us know how things go.
Hi
I got back from seeing him I told him and all he said was that we needed time to think about things and then we can talk in a few weeks
He said to me not to tell anyone about the baby just yet and let us talk about it and then see about things
I guess everyone was right about him in someways it made me mad that he was like this and other OK about it
I think I might keep the baby without him as he wanted to just get away from me the min I told him about it
Thank you for the help
Amy
You are a fool if you don't make him pay for raising the kid... he OWES you that much... under the law. You will be legally ENTITLED to that money. Especially for him being such an a s s with you about it. He's probibly done this to other girls before... and is likely to do it with others in the future. As long as he gets away without having to pay for it. And no you don't even have to see him to make him pay for it.
And because your life is going to forever change... you will no longer be the average 16 year old girl... you will be a mother... you will not be able to do the things your friends do... and in fact many of your friends won't be your friends much longer...
You should go to whatever authority in the UK collects or forces child support payments to be made.. that's a LOT of money that you will need because its very expensive to raise a child. And you will need every bit of money you can get.
I will have a look about that tomorrow
Thanks smoothy
You won't get child support until after the child is born.. but you will have many doctor visits before then... talk to your parents... you are going to need their help and support.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
Yes they will be upset... but the longer you wait the more upset they will be for not telling them.
I guess
Will tell them soon
Yes, you need to talk about it, but you can't wait a " few weeks". At your age, your body may not be fully developed for child birth. So you need to be under a doctor's care ASAP if you plan on having the child. So you need to make some decisions now.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
He asked me not to so he cound think about everything and I get what you mean
I understand and I don't dispute he needs time to digest this. But you can't afford to give him a lot of time. You need to tell him that you have to see a doctor next week. So you both have to make some decisions.
Next week that's soon he wanted weeks (well till he called)
Thanks scottgem
Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
You are not listening. You don't have weeks. I don't know how far along you are, but the fetus needs to be checked, you need to start on pre-natal vitamins and more. If you decide on an abortion it has to be done before a certain point. So you can't wait weeks for him to call!
Also, I wonder about your relationship if you go weeks without contact. If you are as in love as you indicated, you would be talking to him almost daily.
OK I will text him and see what he says about it as I want him to be OK with it when I do go
We talk most days but sometimes not . It all really on if he wants to talk or not and if he is in a good mood
Does he need time to get out of the country? Move to another city? Why even consider what he wants... you saw how he reacted.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
Is HE supporting you? No... your parents are... so what he wants or doesn't want has absolutely no bearing on anything at this point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
And while he's thinking your baby is growing inside you.
Did ANYONE answer who is paying for the abortion?
Quote:
Originally Posted by amy 132
I hope the baby never gets on his nerves - or he's not in a good mood and the baby needs/wants something.
He did not text back last night
I am going to tell my mum and dad sometime today and see what they are like but I no that they will not for happy about as they did not want to me stay with him
And paying for the abortion if I do have one he said that he put toward if he makes up his mind that I am having one
You need to see a doctor Monday. Your baby doesn't have a couple of weeks. You need to be checked and on vitamins to prevent birth defects.
Are you capable of taking care of a handicapped child? If you don't start vitamins NOW, you might just have a child with birth defects.
I don't want that on the baby but he asked me to wait so that he had time to think what he wanted to do about it and then tell me what to do then when he made his mind up
I am telling my mum and dad today sometime and see what they say about it what I know will not be anything good
This is YOUR body and the health of YOUR baby! You do not have to do anything he wants you to do because I promise you he will not be a father to this child, but you will be a mother.
Telling your parents is going to be hard, I understand that. They will be angry and disappointed in the beginning, but you need them there for support because I can promise you that he won't be there to support you.
You truly don't have time to waste here. Do you even know how far along you are?
I think about 5 weeks but not very sure
I know but it like up to him really like he said last night that it his baby as well and that he wants me to do what he says to do as he know's best
I think he might be a good dad but he does get mad a lot of the time what is not OK really but it just the way he is
I'm sorry, but he does NOT know what is best. You know how I know that? Because I'm a nurse, a labor and delivery nurse to be specific. Birth defects can happen during the very early stages of pregnancy and some of them cannot be reversed or cured.
Speaking from a professional standpoint, this guy is an idiot and doesn't know anything about early pregnancy. Also, it's not up to him, it's not HIS body, it's YOURS!
I get angrier and angrier at this abusive idiot the more I read this.
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