Ask Me Help Desk - I can't get pregnant and I'm so scared

It can take people different ages to conceive. I had a frined that tried to get pregnant when she was 19-20-21 with her husband and it never happened. Later on they got a divorce and she got remarried and had one child when she was about 30. It takes some people a lot longer than others to conceive ans everything happens for a reason, maybe it is not your time to have a baby. Everything happens for a reason!

A lot of people have problems conceiving but as some reasurrance one of my friends Trenda had a baby when she was 19. She started trying to have a baby when she was 17 and always worried about it but you have to understand that it can be harder to have a baby when you are younger. My friend Trenda was small built and so it was hard for her, I also have a friend that is overweight and it is hard for her also but it finally happened after 3 years but she had a misscarriage and then finally had a healthy pregnancy so hang in there okay.

You said that you are ready to have a baby and if this is so then you need to get advice from a doctor. I cannot guarantee that a dr will help you because you are so young and dr's don't want to help kids under the age of 21. You and your fiancé need to be checked out because some men, especially men have low sperm count and this may be the reason that you cannot convceive. It may be a problem with you as well but you need to get checked out to see what is going on. If you have the money and the responsibility to make and have a baby then you have the responsibility to see a doctor first.

If you want to know when exactly you should conveive buy a ovulation kit at a drug store and it will help you to get prengnant sooner. Also wait before having sex a few days to a week at a time because it helps the guys sperm count to build up. For instance if you have sex on a Monday wait a week for your fiancés sperm to build up. Do not have sex everyday hoping to get prengnant because the sperm doesn't have time to build up and that is low sperm count. Try to wait a week or two before having sex and then have sex on your ovulation time and it will be easier to get pregnant. Ovulation time varies and usually occurs a week or two weeks after your last period and try and have sex on this date.

Here are some other tips on trying to conceive:

Don't pee right after sex
Lay down for a while on you back after sex
Lay down on your back with your feet up in there after sex (helps sperm to swim up to the egg) for 10-15 minutes.

There is also some health herbs that you can buy from your health store that promotes pregnancy or you can buy some online as well.

Also since you are trying to get pregnant you NEED to buy a pre-natal vitamin at the department store like walmart etc. This is good for when or if you get pregnant and also helps to PRMOTE pregnancy. It is actually easier to get prengnant if you are taking this pill ahead of time and is good for the baby. It WILL NOT hurt if you take the pill even though you are not yet prengnant.

I have given you some really GOOD suggestions and I really hope that you will buy those products because if you have the money to have a baby, you have the money to buy the pre-natal vitamins for the baby and in preparation for a healthy baby and yourself. You are 18 and you should not worry yet whether you can have a baby.

You should be enjoying your life as a young adult because you have plenty of time to decide to have a baby. It takes some people 6 months to get pregnant but it usually takes about a year or two of having sex to have a baby and so DO NOT worry, you have plenty of time. Enjoy your free time with your life now while you have a chance and you will have a baby when God is ready for you to. It is Gods decision when to give life to your baby and when he thinks that you are ready you will have one. People do not understand that God promotes life and without God you couldn't have babies and si it is his decision and when he wants you to have kids you will and not before then. Even if it takes 10 years you will have it when it is your time!

Quote:

Originally Posted by lifes lessons

hello im new to this, im 18 and my boyfriend is 25, we have been trying for a baby for nearly a year now and nothing its making me feel ill with worry, my family is very fertile my mum got pregnant easilly my gran did, im so scared its me all my friends are having babies and its really upsetting me i cry every day wishing i was pregnant! please someone give me some advice x

On another note.

It took my mother 13 months to have my brother with her husband. With me it was different, my mom dated a guy and tried to have me for 3 years and it did not happen at all. She later broke up with that guy and started dating another guy and she got pregnant with me 2 months after dating him.

I think a lot depends on the guy!! It can also depend on the women also but that is why doctors can run tests. Getting pregnant is hard for a lot of people, over 30% of women have hard times getting pregnant at least once or twice during the life. This is hard to believe because you see prengnant women everywhere but it is true!

OK, HERE GOES... my only child turned 2 yesterday. I was in a previous marriage, we tried for 2 years and nothing. I know it sounds bad, but there should have been several times that I should have been pregnant. It will happen when the time is right (and you are not the judge of time with this one) The deal is, you are 18!! Enjoy your life now, because once you have your child... your life is gone. No time for you anymore:) If you are getting married soon, focus on that. I strongly suggest you nourish your marriage before you two even remotely think about having children.
The more you stress about getting pregnant, the harder it will be to make it happen. Of course, you could listen to all of the silly things like stand on your head after intercourse (yes I tried it :)... it doesn't work). Also, if you come from a very fertile family... chances are its not you! Has you fiancé been checked?
You could get some helpful info on americanbaby.com... pretty good info on fertility questions. Also, I know you don't want to hear this, but if you might want to consider talking to a professional. If you have such a strong need for a baby, there might be a bigger underlying issue.

Good luck in whatever decision you make and best wishes on your new marriage

Thank you for all your advice and your all so right I'm 18 I'm going to live my life to the full and it may be that my partner has a low sperm count as I should have said before he smokes a lot of cannabis too. I need to really think about what I want with my life and even if I want to stay with this guy I'm 18 my career is just starting why would I want to go and leave no time for me.

It took me about 2-3 (my man left for months at a time for the airforce) years to conceive.

Sorry it took me so long to respond.
Yes I do have 2 step children. A 7yr old boy and 5yr old girl. Ive had them for the past 3 years.
I think you are right to re think having a child right now. Getting started in life can be hard enough especially in a relationship let alone adding a baby into the picture. Children need as much stability and security as they can get, it wouldn't be fair to you or a child.
I was 18 when I started my family and I love it but I know that it would have been easier if I was older and more stable. I wish sometimes I could instantly be older and wiser without losing a minute of my children's lives. But I know that I can only do the best I can. Ill be starting college this summer and I hope when my children get to my age they will be able to start their lives before they start a family.
I know you'll make the right choice for you, and I wish you the best whatever you choose!

Hi,
If your boyfriend is on drugs, this can really hurt your baby and cause pregnancy complications and yes drugs also lower the sperm count! I would really think hard before even trying to have a baby with this man. This is his child as well as your child and by him doing drugs this will effect your baby in many ways as far as his little brain and being born too small, blind or even crippled because of the drugs in his sperm. A lot of people really think of women as not smoking or doing drugs, as well as eating healthy but the father also has a responsibility as well and if he knows that you are trying to get pregnant and wants a baby then he should stop the drugs and start doing what is right.

I think that God is really looking out for your best interest and wants you to have a healthy child and that means when you find the right guy and enjoy some more of your life with your career and all! Think of it like I do, if you wait to have a child you have something to look forward to! You will also have a bright and healthy child and you will get lots of respect from doctors as well as your family and you will have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.

I agree that everything happens for a reason, and in it's own time. I would like to point out, though, that you don't have to wait a week before your guy's sperm count rebuilds. It takes about 48 hours. If you are still trying for a baby, you should have sex every other day and place a pillow under your hips afterward. It does sound to me as though you really aren't ready to have a child. I am 24 and pregnant with my first child. This is my second marriage, and my husband and I have an amazing relationship. You don't want to rush in to having a child! I think back to when I was 18 and married. My ex-husband was 7 years older than me, and we had a horrible relationship. I didn't really recognize it until we had been married for about 2 years. I stayed yet another year and finally got smart and divorced him. I'm not sure I could be happier than I am right now. The only thing that would make my life better would be to live somewhere else, but that will happen soon enough. Anyway, my point is that you want to make sure that you and your guy are both ready to have a child. If you have any doubts, don't have a baby!

More than likely you are more than capable of having a child. With that said I want to correct another statement that was made. Just because you have a very fertile family does not mean that you could have problems. My sister-in-law has been on and off fertility drugs for 5+ years unable to conceive. Her sister has 3 children, her mother had 4 children, and her grandmother had 4 children. None of them had any troubles getting pregnant. Just because your family had no problems becoming pregnant doesn't mean that it will be easy for you. It may not be the right time for you to have a child. I know that most people will wonder how it could be the wrong time for them to have a baby, yet a 15 year old can get pregnant without trying. I think the biggest reason is that they weren't trying. Stress can hinder becoming pregnant. My husband and I tried for 5 stressfull months. We got pregnant in month 6-when I wasn't thinking or worrying about getting pregnant. I wish you luck in whichever path you decide to take right now. I say wait a while. Make sure you want to spend the rest of your life with the man you are with now. Once you know that is what you want, then you can focus together on having a child. Until then, focus on yourself and your career. Have fun being young. You still have a lot of partying to experience. You aren't even 21 yet. Get that out of the way! You'll appreciate your child much more if you do. Otherwise you will constantly wish and wonder while you stay at home caring for your little one.

Yes it can only take two days for the sperm count to build up but the longer you wait the bigger the sperm count is. I have heard of couples that don't try to have sex and haven't had sex in a month and get pregnant in that one time that they do have sex but it depends. We asked the doctor about this and he said that it depends on the guy but I think that the longer you wait the bigger the count is and the more likely you to conceive in one shot instead of waiting a whole year to get lucky. If you buy an ovulation kit this is the best way to tell when you should have sex to have better chances of conceiving!

Again listen to what everyone else here is saying though because you should go to the doctor though to prepare yourself for when you do have a baby and you should also get on the pre-natal vitamins for when it does happen. A lot of people that don't plan kids never go to the doctor until they are pregnant but since you are trying you really need to go to the doctor and discuss all of this with him. You are still young and some people that try to get pregnant at a young age fail at it while others don't. I have seen 13 and 14 year old girs get pregnant fast but it depends on the maturity of the body and when you are physically ready to conceive. Like I said before I have a friend that tried at a young age and her body was not capable of making babies yet until she was about 30 years old!! Everyone is different though and I hope that if you are concerned that you will seek a doctor or counceling for this and also discuss a lot of this with your boyfriend and let him know exactly what you are feeling!

I have heard of a lot of people stressing and being unable to get pregnant until they kind of put it on the backburner and not stress over it. I know several women that have gotten pregnant when the actual doctors have told them they would never be able to. I read somewhere that you have like a 25% chance of conceiving each month during your time of ovulation and it takes most people around a year. Relax. Best wishes!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by lifes lessons

hello im new to this, im 18 and my boyfriend is 25, we have been trying for a baby for nearly a year now and nothing its making me feel ill with worry, my family is very fertile my mum got pregnant easilly my gran did, im so scared its me all my friends are having babies and its really upsetting me i cry every day wishing i was pregnant! please someone give me some advice x

Talk to your doctor and is he/she say your fine then tell your man to talk to his doc. If things are fine between both of you then just wait god will bless you with a child if not then that's the way things will be or not meant to be. Just take care of others children, you may be a better parent to others then for yourself...

EXCUSE ME! You don't have to be married to have a baby... u need a well paid job, a stable home and a loving relationship to support a baby... good luck concieving sweetie ^^^

lifes lessons--you've already gotten a lot of good advice from these ladies but I just wanted to let you know it took me like 2 months to get pregnant with my first who is 4 now. Now that my husband and I want a 2nd---it doesn't seem to be happening and I am worried also.
Im 27 and everyone--including my gyn says stop stressing and it will happen when you least expect it.
You are VERY young, I'm sure you will have many babies with your soon to be husband--just STOP stressing. I know its hard believe me I do, but as soon as you forget about it and give it some time ---it will happen!! Good luck!

Don't Need To Be Married To Have A Baby! All you need is a well paid job, a stable home and a loving relationship to support da baby whoever is saying you need to be married is sooo judge mental... none of my friends or family or anyone I know got married before having baby's

I do think that kids need some form of stability, I also believe that 2 parents are better than 1. My only concern is that you are still quit young and are you trying to have a baby due to peer pressure?

You have so much to look forward to and having a baby is a lifelong commitment.