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-   -   I'm confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=799603)

  • Aug 20, 2014, 07:32 AM
    Brianna0017
    True but everything ik about that person is that there family they have no health issues because gypies they are healthly kind of people and I been with the person who raped cousin and honestly they are really the health freaks type and ik the fact that there is no health problems are anything like that and I'm positive because I have seen how they are and since there gypies they take there health serious and I honestly believe that my baby doesn't have any problems or anything like that I have faith I know that my baby is really in good health and doesn't have anything that can cause any diease or anything.. This is Muy first kid and I know my baby is in good health and doesn't have any problems or any diease the only thing ik that the person who raped me gave chlamydia and the good think I'm getting treated and my boyfriend are getting treated and I know that my baby is in good health and know for the fact that my boyfriend is the father of this baby because everyone who saw the ultrasound pics of baby say that baby will have my boyfriend nose and lips
  • Aug 20, 2014, 08:35 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Brianna0017 View Post
    the only thing ik that the person who raped me gave chlamydia a ... I know that my baby is in good health and know for the fact that my boyfriend is the father of this baby because everyone who saw the ultrasound pics of baby say that baby will have my boyfriend nose and lips

    Read what you wrote! You know there are no health issues and "don't have anything that can cause any disease", but he gave you chlamydia! Umm, last time I checked that's a disease!

    A doctor can check the health of a fetus only so far. I'm sure the doctor is correct and your fetus appears to be healthy. But there are many things that may not appear until years after the baby is born. You are in denial if you don't think such things can happen. I truly hope your baby is completely healthy, but you can't be as sure as you say you are because there is no way to know for sure.

    And please, one cannot tell who a fetus looks like from an ultrasound.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 08:46 AM
    Brianna0017
    They did a 3d ultrasound so I got to see every thing of my child head to toes but maybe your not aware of a 3D ultrasound or a 4D ultrasound at all
  • Aug 20, 2014, 08:49 AM
    Synnen
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Brianna0017 View Post
    Plus the person that raped me I my ex boyfriend cousin and he doesn't have any family with any problems


    That you know about. YET.

    I placed my daughter for adoption 22 years ago. I have been in constant contact with her family over the years as new medical information has come up that is pertinent to her.

    Regardless just the medical aspect, your child has a RIGHT to know his or her biological history. If you are not honest with the child, it WILL come back to bite you, probably at a time when the last thing you need is your credibility with your child ruined.

    Get the DNA test.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 08:55 AM
    Brianna0017
    I understand that my mom never told my sister about her actual father and I would tell my child but I mean after give days I got raped I'm so sure it's my boyfriends child I'm really sure about that...
  • Aug 20, 2014, 09:04 AM
    Synnen
    Please listen to what we are telling you:

    Without a DNA test, you CAN NOT BE SURE.

    You can want it badly, you can hope, you can wish it, but you CAN NOT BE SURE.

    The possible dates of conception are too close. Medically, the ONLY way to be sure is with a DNA test after the child is born.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 09:29 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Brianna0017 View Post
    They did a 3d ultrasound so I got to see every thing of my child head to toes but maybe your not aware of a 3D ultrasound or a 4D ultrasound at all

    I am aware and I still don't believe that features are formed well enough for an ultrasound to tell who a fetus looks like.

    You never answered me about whether your rapist is being charged. I'm getting a distinct impression that you are living in a sort of fantasy world since you don't seem to have a strong grasp on reality.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 10:02 AM
    Brianna0017
    First of all yes he's pressed charges and secondly I live in reality I'm mature enough to know wats right and Wong and thirdly I'm 23 weeks so with 3D and 4D u can tell my sister and mother and mother in law said the baby looks just like my boyfriend and it seems like some people are racist because the fact that I'm Hispanic and my boyfriend is white my baby is mixed so.. Y'all can say things but I'm not going to give up my faith to strangers over the Internet I believe in god and that's y I'm not backing down to the stuff you say because I have faith and I'm going to keep on having faith no matter what and this is my last time answering to another answer
  • Aug 20, 2014, 10:06 AM
    Synnen
    I had no idea what your race was until you posted it. Making this about race really kind of points out YOUR inherent racism... but whatever.

    You can have all the faith you want. That doesn't negate medical FACTS.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 10:09 AM
    odinn7
    So yesterday around this time you were unsure who the father is but now everyone is telling you that the ultrasound image looks like your boyfriend (really?) and you have faith and nothing anyone here says will change any of that. Ok, so then I ask...why did you come here asking your question? What did you hope to get from asking since you already know all the answers?

    Oh yes, and the race part of it...where did that even come from? Nobody here even mentioned anything at all about race until you just did. I think Scott is correct...you might be just a little out of touch with reality.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 10:31 AM
    ScottGem
    As the others noted, the only time race has entered into things is when you mentioned it. So how you can accuse anyone of racism when we had no idea of what your race is, your boyfriend's race or anyone else, except the rapist since you mentioned he was a gypsy. But that accusation is another illustration of your issues with reality. I'm sure your sister and mother and future mother in law are telling you it looks like the boyfriend, just as I'm also sure they are saying so to make you feel better. But no matter how clear and detailed the ultrasound is, its not going to be clear enough to make such a positive analysis. My daughter, at 3 months, was the spitting image of me. We looked at pictures of myself and her at that same age and you douldn't tell us apart. Now she barely resembles me.

    And I'm very glad you have faith, you will need it to bolster you through a rape trial and if the baby's father is the rapist. But I'm very glad to hear that he is being charged (I assume that's what you meant since he wouldn't be the one pressing charges, it would be a prosecutor doing so).

    And no one here is trying to shake your faith or asking you to give it up. But you need to face the reality of your situation, something you appear to be refusing to do. Not for you but for the sake of your baby.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 12:36 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Brianna0017 View Post
    First of all yes he's pressed charges and secondly I live in reality I'm mature enough to know wats right and Wong and thirdly I'm 23 weeks so with 3D and 4D u can tell my sister and mother and mother in law said the baby looks just like my boyfriend and it seems like some people are racist because the fact that I'm Hispanic and my boyfriend is white my baby is mixed so.. Y'all can say things but I'm not going to give up my faith to strangers over the Internet I believe in god and that's y I'm not backing down to the stuff you say because I have faith and I'm going to keep on having faith no matter what and this is my last time answering to another answer

    OMG, you did NOT just throw the race card out there! First of all, no one knew of your heritage until you brought it up right here. Typically, in my experience, it's the person who is first to throw the race card first that is actually the racist.

    Now, you cannot tell who a baby looks like until it is several years old. You can't tell from an ultrasound, you cannot tell from the moment of birth. Your baby cannot be determined healthy until after the birth when the Newborn Genetic Screening is done at 24 hours of age.

    There are genetic disorders such as Cystic Fibrosis, Hematochromocytosis, Tay Sachs, Prader-Willi Syndrome, Turner Syndrome (just a few for example), that are not detected by an ultrasound, they are detected only after birth.

    You would be doing this child a serious disservice if you choose not to have a DNA test. You also are very ignorant about paternity if you think paternity can be diagnosed on an ultrasound strictly because he/she "looks" like the father on the ultrasound.
  • Aug 20, 2014, 01:40 PM
    CravenMorhead
    Excellent answer j_9. I am clapping here!

    In addition:
    Gypsy are originally nomadic slavic tribes. Slavic is white, just like your boyfriend. Your baby is going to mixed as well. That's not racist, that's life. Your baby, in a midterm ultrasound, also looks a lot like Sir Winston Churchill, most babies do. The bloody thing is the size of a Mango and has a lot more developing to do. My child is about 13 months and her looks have change vastly since she was born. You're trying to make up the facts to fit the situation what you want. God plays no role in this, this is simple and proven genetics and reproductive science. Having faith won't change the facts. The only way to know for sure is a DNA test. You can stomp your feet all you want, take your ball and go home but in the end it could be either.

    For the love of bob...
  • Aug 21, 2014, 09:16 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    I can't resist throwing my hat in, this post is just too good.

    Brianna,
    You came here looking for help and these fine people are trying to do just that. It seems though, that you didn't get the answers you desired and became a bit defensive. After reading, I don't believe your story.

    That said, for the sake of your child, I hope the cycle of unplanned pregnancies and secretive paternity can one day be broken for your family. You still have a chance to get a definitive answer for your own child, but it doesn't sound as though you will. My friend's older sister looks JUST like her. They could be twins, and people often say so... the thing is, Renee is their biological child while her sister, Danielle, is adopted. She has no blood lines to the family but with her curly hair and round face, everyone thinks they are blood sisters. Funny, eh? Without hard core proof, looks don't mean very much.

    Anyway,
    I wish you and your baby the best. I really do. Don't misunderstand the intentions of the people who posted here. They all want to help, but when posters get defensive and holes start to emerge in the stories we hear, it becomes tiresome and frustrating.

    Edited to add:
    Even if health history doesn't concern you, legal trouble might. Someday, the rapist could come into your life and want to claim that child. OR your boyfriend, a troubled family member, etc. might challenge paternity.... refuse child support, etc. Things change and how people feel about you and the baby today will not guarantee how they feel about you later. (Sad but true) I recommend the DNA test for your protection and that of your child.

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