Well, obviously this is one of those situations where no matter what we tell her about personal experience as parents and how hard it is, but especially when you are young, she is going to do it anyway. She's going to have to learn it the hard way. So I'm not going to bother giving any personal advice or such on the emotional and physically demanding standpoint. (Though the advice she has received has been very honest, and meant in a kind and caring way, to warn her and help prepared her) No matter our age, our bodies and hormones are always going through changes. Usually these changes are not so dramatic that they are incredibly noticeable. But our periods do get thrown out of wack at times(for seemingly no apparent reason), and cause confusion and concern on our part. Therefore,7 days isn't incredibly late. You could be pregnant, but you could just be late, or even completely missed your period for this month.(I once went 2 months without a period, then started up again just like clockwork.) Basically all symptoms of pregnancy, are also the symptoms of an oncoming period, and therefore really can't be used as a guide. (and as far as I know, having errect nipples isn't a sign of pregnancy.also, USUALLY this early in a pregnancy, you won't be out growing your clothes, especially if its your first. It is possible, but not usually. It sounds as though it is bloating, possibly from your upcoming period?) As you are one week late, you can take an hpt. You can also try to get a blood test done. These are more accurate then hpts.Should you get a positive, set up a prenatal appointment, and start taking prenatal vitamins. Should you miss your next period, yet get negatives on your tests, definitely go see your doctor. You could be pregnant and your hcg levels just not high enough to show on a test yet, OR there could be something else causing your irregular period. I hope that your life turns out as picture perfect as you envision. Good luck and best wishes.

1n-L0v3,

I would also like to add that in your post to response to J9 and CBW, that you are going to prove them wrong. Do NOT DO things to prove anybody wrong. That is the wrong reason to do anything.

What you should be doing is acting responsible and taking this very seriously and know that your life will change and do this because you want to have a happy marriage, do this because you love your fiancée, do this because you love yourself, do this most importantly because you going to love this beautiful baby that will one day come into your life.

If you do things for the wrong reason like trying to prove somebody wrong your going to fall flat down on your face.

Please do what you need to do in your life because it is for you, your future husband and possibly your future baby. NO ONE ELSE.

Joe

Well, you have asked for people's views, so here I go... I have views on more than one part of your posting, as have a lot of other people who speak from their hearts and their experiences.

Yes, you could be pregnant, or you could just want to be pregnant so bad that your body is acting pregnant. But, you could also be miscarrying or have an ovarian cyst or a number of other things. If you think that you might be pregnant, buy a pregnancy test and if that's positive see a doctor to be sure.

Now for my other views...

Why in God's name are you and your fiancé trying for a baby? I have read the posts up to this point, and I wonder if you really understand what is involved in being a parent? First of all, you are very, very young at 17. While it's true that generations ago this was the norm, the norm was also that you were dead before you were 50 or 60. Your body isn't really ready for childbirth at 17. Are you and your fiancé aware of the dangers of teen pregnancy?

The infants of teen parents have higher rates of birth defects, lower birth weights, more disabilities, and are more prone to die within the first year of life. Teen mothers have a higher risk of a difficult pregnancy and birth problems such as anemia, problems with their bones, emotional problems before and after birth (ie: post partum blues). You will be much more likely to deliver pre-term, which can jeopardize both your and the baby's health. You will also be more likely to have a second pregnancy within a year. On top of that, the children of teen parents are more likely to spend the remainder of their lives in poverty, and to become teen parents themselves.

A mature couple doesn't make a decision to have a baby to complete their relationship. They take into account all the dangers and plan their children accordingly. They want to offer their child the most that they are able... and that includes a safe pregnancy and delivery as well as being able to meet the financial, emotional, and physical needs of the child.

Have you considered that you could have a multiple birth? What about dealing with birth defects? Are you financially capable of dealing with ongoing health problems? Will you be going back to work after the baby is born? What if there is brain damage... can you both deal with that at this age and for the rest of your lives?

Believe me, I speak from experience. Having a child is a lifetime commitment. Having two children in 10 or 11 months and one of them suffering from minimal brain damage due to a difficult pregnancy can be hell. Seeing your infant having seizures, losing your partner because they thought they could do it but they can't, fighting for special education, having the child who does not have a disability suffer from the lack of time you can spend with them, your health suffering because of the pregnancies, having to have a hysterectomy when you are 29 because of the choices you made at 16 or 17 - none of it is a picnic.

I just hope that you have given thought to all of the above. I can tell you a heck of a lot more, too. If you are not pregnant I hope you and your fiancé at least consider the things that I have written about. If you are pregnant then congratulations and may you not have to deal with any of the issues that most teenage parents do.

Hugs, Didi

Just wanted to respond to you actual question.
7 days is a little early to really be experiencing any extreme symptoms.. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my daughter, but I knew I was pregnant from day one.. just had a feeling... take the test but prepare yourself either way.. don't be upset if you are not you are young and it will happen when the time is right.. be patient.. and GOOD LUCK to you both...

As previously said, pregnancy symptoms can mimic your period being about to start. I would take a test using the first urine you pass when you wake up in the morning, to check. I was only just turned 18 when I had my first baby, it wasn't planned, but I wouldn't change my life for anything. I am now only 56 and am a great grandmother of 2 beautiful babies, and am still young enough to enjoy them. Yes it is hard work but if that is the life you want, then go ahead. Good luck.

Why are you all attacking her? I mean I don't understand she isn't like the fourteen year old a few questions ago who was trying to get pregnant. She is seventeen and seems to be pretty level headed. I had my son when I was seventeen and I didn't go out drinking and running around. I gave up any wild steaks I thought about having and settled down and have been a good mother to him. He is six now and is a very happy child. In answer to your question though Yes it is possible that you are pregnant those are all symptoms and as for it taking five months some couples it takes up to a year. I hope that you get the answer you want maybe you should go see the doctor about getting a blood test done, as they are more accurate

No one is attacking anybody. Everybody wants to make sure that she knows what she is getting into but I agree with you don8 she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and she has the support as well which is very important.

Joe

Just to clarify things, I was NOT attacking. I was expressing my views on the situation. The subject line of the original post asked for "You Veiws (any appreciated)" so I gave my views. I agree that 1n-L0v3 is 17 and seems pretty level headed for the most part. I also agree that many teens have the ability emotionally to be good parents. I just think it's important for any young person who is thinking of having a child to do the same thing an older couple would do before trying... weigh the risks, talk to the doctor about them, consider the possibilities and how that would affect your life and THEN make a well informed decision. Hopefully, if 1n-L0v3 and her fiancée haven't considered the very high risks, they should be informed. A lot of people, even older ones, aren't aware of the very high risks involved in teen pregnancy. I was just hoping to educate and inform.

I had 2 children at 17 and was an extremely good mother. I didn't drink or run around or do drugs. I will tell you this... I wasn't banking on one of them being born early and suffering brain damage because of it. I wasn't banking on both of them being low birth weight and having breathing problems and being prone to lung infections for many years. I didn't bank on my husband being unable to hold down a job, or that he would think that babysitting while I worked two jobs meant he could lay around watching TV all day... or that money burned a hole in his pocket.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on us and smacking us in the face. If you look at my profile you will see that I have lived a life that many people don't get through. I was one of the lucky ones, but I see it further than some of the younger ones. I see how the brain damaged son ended up not being able to raise his own child and the effects of that on all of us. You just do not know unless you live it, and you just don't know that you will until it happens.

Love, Didi

I agree with Didi, I was not trying to attack either. Rather I too was trying to show that while some teens may be responsible, others cannot carry the load of something as long term and life altering as an infant.

Having a baby while still a baby carrys many mental, emotional, and physical risks that this gal may or may not be aware of, but should be. There is no changing your mind when you have a baby. There is no changing your mind if your baby is born prematurely and suffers debilitating illnesses as a result. Many adults can't handle this, so it would be doubly hard for a teen.

I too agree she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, I just want her to make a total and complete informed decision. She seems to know all of the pros of having a baby, but should also be aware of all the cons.

Grammadidi, I have had things go wrong in my life to but I don't blame it on my son!! He has been nothing but a blessing to me and he was perfectly healthy by the way and as I said I was 16 when I got pregnant and 17 when I had him. I got married to an idiot because I MADE A BAD DECISION and then when I found out what he was really like LAZY while I worked two jobs I sent him on his way and made it fine by myself then I met and married a wonderful man and we are doing great. Every body has bad things happen in their life but it is because of their own actions not because they were not ready for a baby after all there are some people out there who should never reproduce no matter how old they are. I really don't think age has to do with maturity but I don't think that 14 or 15 or even 16 year olds should have kids but in a couple of months when this girl is 18 this would not even be up for discussion, in fact you would probably be wishing her well in her journey to parenthood. All I am saying is that not everyone is alike just because You and I had some trouble doesn't mean she will maybe this will turn out good for them. I really hope so anyway

Oh, gosh, this is getting crazy. I did NOT blame it on my son. I am GLAD you have a healthy child. No, my children had problems because they were conceived too early. I am not even talking about emotional maturity. I am talking about FACTS.

FACTS: These are not judgements but FACTS...

The infants of teen parents have higher rates of birth defects, lower birth weights, more disabilities, and are more prone to die within the first year of life.

Teen mothers have a higher risk of a difficult pregnancy and birth problems such as anemia, problems with their bones, emotional problems before and after birth (ie: post partum blues).

Teens are much more likely to deliver pre-term, which can jeopardize both the mother's and the baby's health.

Teen moms are more likely to have a second pregnancy within a year.

Children of teen parents are more likely to spend the remainder of their lives in poverty, and to become teen parents themselves.

THAT is all I was saying... these are huge risks and should be considered.

Love, Didi

I completely agree with Grammadidi. grammadidi didn't BLAME her son. She was pointing out higher risks of teenage pregnancy, and the ripple effect it made on her and her other child's life and marriage and the rest of her life... it was meant as some hard earned knowledge. And I give her credit for pointing out the bad as well as the good. With Gods help and luck, everything she is looking for will work out for her and her fiancée, but its better to be forearmed with ALL information. Its not to scare her but at least give her some thoughts on the matter.

Okay but the thing is that people of all ages have children with birth defect and show me one thing in her post that showed the postitive side... This girl is possibly pregnant and is looking forward to it what is so wrong with that? When you get pregnant you know there are risks but there are some things in life that make the risk worth while and looking into the eyes of your child is one of them

don8, I don't know you or 1n-lov3, I can only go by what I see and hear, lust like you. But if I buy a car, I want to know the good and bad, and I don't know what quwestions to ask until I get deeper into looking. I also had kids when I was young.I'm male, but nonetheless, I took the responsibilities very seriously. I DO know that many teens have kids and everything is fine, and they don't know the stats either, as I bet you didn't. But there is nothing wrong in anyone pointing out the risks using their experience, which isn't as rosy as others. If it was me, I'd be very grateful for that information. I wish these kids the best as I know grammdidi does. And also that they have a healthy, happy baby and marriage if that's in the forecats... and a whole life of good fortune

How old were you when you made a child? Was there any birth defects with your child? I was 17 and also I was adopted by my grandparents but my birth mother was also seventeen when she had me. I was born without any problems also. I was not trying to attack grammadidi's experience just trying to show her that there are up sides to having a baby young too not just bad things happen. Also I was not saying that she blamed her son I was saying that bad things happen to everyone not just people who have their children at a young age.

Okay, personally I think this thread has gone too far. And in all honesty I blame myself for the mudslinging. I was just trying to help the OP think about her decision before it was too late.

Don8, you are a lucky one. You had a child at a young age that does not have any permanent lasting effects from teen pregnancy. Many others are not so lucky.

Actually from a medical standpoint grammadidi is absolutley unequivocally correct. This is how it works:

A young girl under the age of 21 is still growing, maybe not physically, but her body still need certain vitamin, protein, and minerals that are needed in organ and brain development. When a young girl gets pregnant her body fights for these nutrients with the fetus. Typicall the fetus wins. However, at what cost? The cost is usually low birth weight and/or premature birth if the baby is lucky. The teen mother loses out thus giving birth early because she is not receiving essential nutrients necessary for her very own development. The baby loses out in that many times it is low in birth weight because the nutrients were taken from the baby by the mother.

Now, low birth weight and premature birth carry their own serious risks. Infants born early run the risk of underdeveloped lungs, wherein they must receive oxygen to survive. Oxygen, in a hospital, is a drug, and can be deadly. It can cause brain damage and/or hearing damage at the least. Premature and low birth weight babies also run the risk of being developmentally delayed. Just visit a kindergarten these days an look at all the delayed children. I guarantee you that many of the mothers were teens under the age of 21.

Understand that many of these problems may or may not be noticeable for years to come. Many times they are not visible at birth, but are only discovered during the early school years.

Now, on the other hand, yes, we all have certain risks when bearing children. Some genetic, some environmental. I had an age related risk myself when giving birth to a child at the age of 38. My risk was Down's Syndrome. I was lucky.

However, I knew the risk ahead of time. I was prepared to deal with the consequences if indeed my son was born with Down's Syndrome.

1n-L0v3 may not have been aware of these dangers. She may also not be ready to handle the consequences if it should happen.

I just wanted to say, that while there are many girls who are able to have children at a young age, and handle it beautifully,there are just as many who can not handle it as well, and don't realize what they are getting themselves into. I don't think anyone here was trying to attack 1n-lov3. She is obviously thinking of the happy side and exciting side of being a mother. I think the advice given here was all given in a manner, simply hoping to make sure that she was looking at the hard side of being a parent as well, so that she would be as prepared as possible. In any case, I don't think that the poster is even watching this thread anymore. She did ask for everyone opinion, and that any opinion would be welcome. Hopefully she was able to see that everyone was trying to help. However, this thread has started to turn a bit ugly. Usually at this point it's best to take everyone's opinions, appreciated or not, and leave them as that, before feelings start to get treaded on.