Is there room for two toilets by any chance?
You deserve your 14" and he deserves his 17 - 19".
The first one I looked at on HD was 16.5" and claimed ADA compliance, hmm.
I suppose that some very short people needing ADA compliance might not want 17+. But wheelchair seats are about 18", the height of a typical chair. I'm 5'1 and shrinking and if I were using a walker I'd want to stay with my 14.5. Donuts are a drag - they are plastic and stain, plus the opening is so &*^%%*) small that they quickly get dirty.