We keep hearing that good communication is the basis on which to build a successful relationship. So what is it about someone saying "I only want to say this once" that I find so infuriating, and what is that I'm supposed to be learning about good communication in this case? Is it about working at being a better listener, or what??

My boyfriend uses this expression a lot and for some reason it drives me crazy! :) For instance, he has often said "I have never cheated on a woman in my life and never will. I want you to understand that about me as I don't want to have this same conversation every second week. I really don't want to spend the rest of my life being accused of something I'm not. I only want to say this once!" Fair enough, so why is it so annoying to be told that?

There are other times when he uses the same kind of expression, like when he wants me to know how he wants something to be done --- little things like making sure the kettle has plenty of water in it before switching it on so it doesn’t burn dry. If he thinks he's had to say it more than once, he'll say something like "I've told you at least a hundred times and I’m finding it incredibly frustrating to have to keep repeating myself!"... when I know he hasn't, and has probably only said it once or twice at the most. He just seems to have this thing about saying "I only want to say this once" or "I've already told you at least a hundred times".

I feel as if there's something intolerant and impatient about those words that I don’t like and I often don't know how to respond at the time... (he would strongly defend himself against that criticism by the way, and see it as an inaccurate representation of what’s actually going on at the time).

Since no-one is perfect and we all have our blind spots and it isn't exactly the worse thing anyone could do or say, I try to see this sort of thing as an idiosyncrasy - a personality characteristic that shouldn't be taken too seriously or held against someone, even if it does drive me nuts.

Does someone you know have a pet phrase that likewise causes you to react negatively whenever you hear them say it? I can't be the only person who has this problem :-)

The saying, "My bad" drives me up the wall. I'm not sure why, and I never say anything when people use it, but for some reason, I literally detest it!

"My bad." I mean really, what does that mean?? "My mistake?" "I'm sorry, that's my fault."

My bad. Sheesh.

:D

My favorite: That won't work.
Followed by: I've tried that already.
Runner-up: That won't happen.
Honorable mention: I don't believe you.

If you've found my answer accurate, please rate my answer. If you have found my answer inaccurate, please reply to this message and I will do my best to clarify my answer.

Peace.

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Originally Posted by HistorianChick

The saying, "My bad" drives me up the wall. I'm not sure why, and I never say anything when people use it, but for some reason, I literally detest it!

"My bad." I mean really, what does that mean??? "My mistake?" "I'm sorry, that's my fault."

My bad. Sheesh.

:D

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I guess it just sounds really childish. You made me laugh with that one :)

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Originally Posted by Always_helping

My favorite: That won't work.
Followed by: I've tried that already.
Runner-up: That won't happen.
Honorable mention: I don't believe you.

If you've found my answer accurate, please rate my answer. If you have found my answer inaccurate, please reply to this message and I will do my best to clarify my answer.

Peace.

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Runner-up would do it for me too... at which stage, "I give up!" lol

Tell him that when you feel the need for the conversation you will let him know but you trust him so you do not see the need for him to bring up the conversation.
My boyfriend that I haven't decided if I want to give up on yet or not is always interrupting me yet when I interrupt him to tell him he is interrupting me he starts with you this and you that and you like I am trying to make an argument and he is getting defensive.

I hate MY BAD too except for my son that is in the Army says it.
He also says he is 'comfortable with his masculine' side when he wears his pink t shirt
Which cracks me up the way he says it.

I hate a lot of the terms like
It blew me away or I was blown away--that is my #1 hate IT
I see you have 'too much on your plate'
What do you 'bring to the table'
'rally around' to show support
Appalled and offended also annoy me like they are so delicate and thin skinned they can't deal with things.

I hate my fiancée saids "you know what I'm saying". Every time he say that I look at him like he's stupid and sometime I say "no, I don't know what your saying" just to get him mad.

My favorite(?) is "Get your head out of your a$$". I absolutely loathe that and it drives me to want to strangle whoever said it.

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Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

My favorite(?) is "Get your head out of your a$$". I absolutely loathe that and it drives me to want to strangle whoever said it.

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How about "out of the box"? All this "out of the box" thinking grates on my nerves.

And how about the "I goes to him, he goes to me" whole line of conversation?

In general - anyone who murders the English language in the process of giving advice. Can never figure why anyone would take advice from anyone who is barely literate.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

How about "out of the box"? All this "out of the box" thinking grates on my nerves.

And how about the "I goes to him, he goes to me" whole line of conversation?

In general - anyone who murders the English language in the process of giving advice. Can never figure why anyone would take advice from anyone who is barely literate.

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I actually like ''out of the box'' for people that ARE out of the box... problem is that so many 'in the square box' confined people misused and abused it to the point it do grate on my nerves too most of the time!

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

My bf that I haven't decided if I want to give up on yet or not is always interrupting me yet when I interrupt him to tell him he is interrupting me he starts with you this and you that and you like I am trying to make an argument and he is getting defensive.

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We're exactly the same. Once we get started we cant' stop, and then go around in circles over the same old ground over and over and over again. Now that is annoying! I know there are tips for avoiding that sort of mindless arguing, it's just so difficult to stop once you get started and those pet phrases can spike, then spur an argument on. Here are some of those 'good communication rules' we keep forgetting to use when that happens :-)
BBC - Relationships - Couples - Ways to make peace

Yeah I usually just let people rant any more cause the next day they are often saying the exact opposite of their rant any way.

"Come back to reality"...
I really dislike it.
I am in reality, I live it, breathe it, smell it... I hear it. What the heck does that mean? Does it mean, "think what I think" or...

I hate when people say things like jk, lol, etc... in a face to face conversation. I use these all the time in texts, and emails, etc... but in real life? Cmon how lazy can you get...

Regardless isn't a word.
The correct phrase is "I couldn't care less" not I couldn't care less...
And MC's who say (instead of give him a hand) Let's give it up for Joe, what a beautiful performance.

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Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE

i hate when people say things like jk, lol, etc... in a face to face conversation. I use these all the time in txts, and emails, etc... but in real life? cmon how lazy can you get...

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And how about even in postings - the ha ha, LOL, in every single post. I can only imagine what a personal conversation would be like.

Do people in other parts of the Country say, "Whatever" constantly. That's another one. I'm asking questions and they are giving me the "Whatever" answers.

How about the quotation marks in thin air?
Or the Latin viz a viz, e.g. etc used in conversation.

Most of this stuff is OK when it is first done but when it goes on for years and years it gets old pretty fast.

Like liz, my ex used to say, "You know what I mean?"... every 4 - 5 words. Literally. In a sentence, she would say that line about twice. It wasn't like I wasn't listening. I was intently listening. I wanted to strangle her.

Other than that, I don't think I have any pet phrases that really bugs me...

... I guess I'm purty tolerable.

I had a boss who would always manage to get;

"Well, have a guess what ..."
Or
"At the end of the day ..."

Into every fricking conversation! (He was a complete tool to be fair though!)

Another (nicer) boss had a tendency to say "actually" at some point in every sentence. Now that's not too annoying... until you spot it... then it's just a string of words while you wait for the next "actually" to pop up! Ha ha!

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

like liz, my ex used to say, "You know what I mean?" ...every 4 - 5 words. Literally. In a sentence, she would say that line about twice.

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When I was a lot younger there was a period where I would say "Yeah, right?" to check if the person had understood what I said... but I'd do it after every sentence. My Dad found this very annoying (as I'm sure most people did) and so got me out of it by repeating those exact words back to me, exaggerated, every time I said it!

I soon stopped!

Hey, maybe we should all try doing that!

Ooh ooh I got one.

My high school principal used to say, "On tomorrow..."

The Jailhouse saloon down the street has a sign Where everybody wants to serve time.
Inside they have a sign that says Free Beer Tomorrow. Of course tomorrow never comes.

Same thing with joe's crab shack.

"free crabs tomorrow!"