If you go through with it, I'll never speak to you again.Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Now, what's first on the list to fix? I recently retired and have all this free time on my hands.
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If you go through with it, I'll never speak to you again.Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Now, what's first on the list to fix? I recently retired and have all this free time on my hands.
If I did go through with it, I wouldn't post on any site ever again.
I don't know, for now I'm just going No contact on my ex and trying to study since I can't solve my family.
For now, I'm just hoping my life will go uphill while I keep going No Contact, working out and trying to improve myself to raise my self-esteem.
I'm hoping that once my self-esteem goes up so will my quality of life. It's not an overnight process so we'll see.
That's even worse than my not talking to you again! :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Good thinking. You've set priorities. School should come first. Anything I can help with? I'm real smart.Quote:
I don't know, for now I'm just going No contact on my ex and trying to study since I can't solve my family.
It will go up if you follow the plan you mentioned. I'm here for you. I've got lots of time.Quote:
I'm hoping that once my self-esteem goes up so will my quality of life. It's not an overnight process so we'll see.
Came close to breaking NC today, kind of feel proud I didn't.
I destroyed every single text message I had in my phone, both sent and received. I took every single thing my ex gifted to me and shoved it into a random box in the attic.
I'm really close to bringing myself to deleting any pictures in where she's present.
I also feel like beating up a couple of guys, I have no idea why though.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
I also know a few you can beat up. Tell me when I can bring them over.Quote:
I also feel like beating up a couple of guys, I have no idea why though.
Wow...
I got off the shower and into the scale seems like I gained 4 Kg (I think 8.8 pounds). Which frankly is awsome, working out is really paying off. (I'm quite skinny, so this is awsome).
And my ex came IM'ing outraged that I've been ignoring her.
This last hour has been just... a confidence boost.
I am feeling the power radiating off you. Surges of electricity are sizzling the ends of my hair. Like the McDonald's ad, I'm lovin' it!Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Can't seem to get my ex girlfriend out of my head... This is driving me absolutely nuts.
How can you get over someone if you have to see them at least once every week? It's just hard and painful.
Think about it this way -- you don't have to see this person for SIX whole days!!Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Some people have been suggesting to me that I should go see a psychologist. I don't have an interest in doing it but I can see where maybe it would be worth it.
Just how expensive are they?
Anyway, decided to drop by and tell you guys (or Wondergirl) that I've decided to see a therapist.
I think it won't do much but there is the offchance that he/she will be able to drive my suicidal thoughts away and I feel like I could do away with those.
Thanks for the support though guys (Wondergirl).
As long as you continue to take steps to help yourself, to better yourself, then you're moving forward.
Continue to take it one step at the time. You don't need to put pressure on yourself by expecting to wake up one morning and be on cloud 9.
I would also add that as you continue to make progress and take steps to better yourself, you will continue to feel a sense of accomplishment and that will boost your confidence and self-esteem.
But remember, one step at the time. When you walk the stairs, you take one step at the time, you can't fly up there instantly. But once you're reached the top, you will feel happy that you were able to walk all those steps; thus, the sense of accomplishment.
Psychologists really are idiots...
So after today's therapy and fifth session he actually blurted out that maybe I really should kill myself. I mean, that's just... wow.
I was speechless by that and it's fair to say I'm not going to bother with a psychologist at all anymore or ever.
What kind of professional straight up tells a patient that maybe he should commit suicide?
Good grief! I wish he lived in this country. I'd call and give him a piece of my mind. Hmmmm, how much is a call to where you are??Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Now, if you'd been his patient for several years and had a great rapport with him, I could see this happening as a sort of reverse psychology or even small joke between the two of you. But geeeeez.
I guess it's just you and me now (and the rest of the gang here). I really wish we could sit down and chat about things over a cup of coffee. I (we) have really become quite fond of you and want the best for you. How can we get to that place? I'm feeling very frustrated -- angry too.
Scale says 130 pounds. It's just amazing, I haven't felt this good about my body in a while and the ramifications are just amazing, I'm more confident, have better self-esteem, I'm less stressed, suffer from less rage issues.
Regular exercise just overall helps a lot. I think I'm actually on the right path to happiness now.
Be sure to beef up your mind and emotions too. They also need your attention.Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
I have no idea why, but I'm trying another psychologist, let's hope this one goes better than the last...
Also, I've been in a perma-happy mood lately, I'm loving it ^_^
He's a psychologist with Ph.D. after his name? Does he specialize in anything? (I'm checkin' up 'cause I care about you, JK.)Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
When's your first appointment?
Yeah, he has a doctorate degree.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I don't know, it's actually an old colleague of my uncle (he's a surgeon specializing in gynecology, guess you meet all sorts of people in med school).
I trust my uncle's judgement so I actually think it'll go better this time.
As for his specialization, I don't know, I haven't asked.
First appointment is Friday the 25th.
If this guy went to med school, he must have M.D. after his name and be a medical doctor in psychology, i.e. a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist is a notch up over a psychologist. He can prescribe meds too. BE SURE either he or someone he recommends follows up with regular maybe-twice-a-week counseling!!Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Sounds like a good referral. I can't wait until the 25th!!
Oh just for reference, I'm refusing any type of anti-depressants if he so prescribes.
Last time I was on them, I was a completely different person (not happier either mind you), I couldn't think straight, I was slower and felt like I was walking underwater.
Please don't shoot yourself in the foot. There is an anti-depressant that will work for you; you just have to find it. The first three blood pressure meds my doctor prescribed for me didn't work or made me sick. The fourth one works like a charm. It took about six months to find the one that works. The same is true of anti-depressants. What works for you might not work for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
But then, maybe he won't think you need one.
Be sure to ask him about weekly counseling sessions with him or someone else. Maybe the counseling will be enough, and you won't need meds too.
Thing is, most anti-depressants don't treat depression per se, they treat symptons like insomnia for one. I'm not suffering from any really bad symptom that needs addressing (I suffered from insomnia for a while and that's why I took some anti-depressants before).Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I think he won't perscribe any but I don't see myself taking them if he does so and will probably try to reach an agreement about extra counseling or something along those lines.
Then, as a responsible client, you have the duty to tell him you will not take the prescribed pills. Why add lying to the mix?Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
P.S. You're incorrect about anti-depressants and what they do. I spent three years in grad school and a hunk of money to find out how they work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
That's actually what I said I would do "I'd try to reach an agreement over more conselling".
Psychiatrist called me a few days ago cause a patient of his died apparently and asked me if I want to take up his weekly timeslot which is Tuesdays at 17.00 .
So, I did visit him today and it turns out he doesn't want to prescribe anything for now but has pointed out something's for me to do.
He wants me to find an outlet for rage and stress and also wants me to double the amount of physical exercise or just add a 30 min run everyday around the block.
While he hasn't reached a complete assessment, he says I show signs of a really light case of bipolar disorder (apparently, most people's moods fluctuate but mine just fluctuate more apparently but not to the point of full blown bipolar disorder) and thinks he can treat it without the intervention of medication.
He mentioned signs of depression but isn't concerned with it for now, he wants to tackle one issue at a time and hopefully by the time he reaches depression, he'll have fixed the things that caused it.
So first off, his plan is to fix any underlying rage and stress issues.
Thought Wondergirl would have liked to know this.
WG is delighted to hear that you seriously are beginning to work on yourself!Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
The added exercise is good. What outlets for rage and stress might there be?
He didn't tell me to just do this or that.
Told me to try and figure out something, if I couldn't he would suggest something next week.
For now, I'm thinking of a boxing bag.
Or a big box of kittens (to pet obviously).
Is there an anger management course offered nearby at a community college or high school or park district?Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
As far as I know they're not very common. I'll ask around for it though.
What I'm thinkin' is, in an anger management class you would figure out WHY you are angry and learn how to mentally think yourself out of it. Getting a punching bag only encourages the anger and acting out, but doesn't allow you to learn how to redirect your energies.Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Here's a bit from an anger management site --
What Individuals Can Do:
The first step in dealing with anger is to become aware of it. Learn how anger affects you, how you deal with it, and what triggers it in you. There are many ways to handle anger once you learn to recognize it and catch it early on. The American Psychological Association suggests the following:
Relaxation -- As simple as it sounds, basic relaxation exercises can be powerful tools in overcoming one's anger. Among these simple techniques are deep breathing; slowly repeating a relaxing phrase, such as "relax" or "take it easy"; using peaceful imagery to imagine a relaxing situation; and relaxing exercise, like yoga or tai-chi.
Cognitive Restructuring -- Cognitive restructuring is basically changing the way you think about things. This involves thinking more positively about a situation; avoiding terms like "always" and "never," which can be used to justify your anger; using logic on yourself to prevent irrational behavior; and learning to change your approach -- requesting rather than demanding, for example.
Problem Solving -- Not all anger is inappropriate. When there is a very real root to your anger, approaching the situation from the perspective of a problem solver can help to diffuse your strong feelings. Make a plan for how you can fix the situation and approach it with good intentions.
Better Communication -- Angry people tend to jump to conclusions and overreact. By slowing down and thinking about what you say, this problem can be avoided. Also, make sure you understand what other people are saying before responding to them. Listen to the reasons for others' anger and try not to be overly critical. Listening is as important to communication as speaking is.
Using Humor -- By refusing to take yourself too seriously, you can defuse your anger. Try using humorous imagery to lighten your mood or to make fun of yourself. However, you should avoid using sarcastic and harsh humor, which is simply another expression of anger. You should also avoid simply "laughing off" your problems, which ignores the issue at hand. Instead use humor to approach the problem more constructively.
Change Your Environment -- Oftentimes our environment contributes to our anger by causing irritation and fury. Make a point to take a break. Schedule personal time. When stress becomes too intense, simply get away for 15 minutes to regroup and refresh.
We have them all over the place around Chicagoland! What about taking a yoga or tai chi class? (Tai chi is basically karate -- the katas.)Quote:
Originally Posted by JK191
Try Talking to a counselor. Or talking to a parent or an adult!! Does that help any?
Well I was like that when I was in the 6th grade I had no friends I was anti-social then I join'd wood shop and basket ball and that help mii out with self-esteem issues, anti-socialness, and laziness so that's what I say try to pla sports um tlk to people that seem to lik your stuff look at funny stuff laugh have fun and your life should get better.. comment one of my question thanks
And yha talk to a counselor that works for me. Parents are confuseing
2nd visit to my psychiatrist and he seems to think that I place far too much pressure on myself and set unrealistic goals for myself as well.
He also argues that it is due to these 2 factors that I can't be happy, he thinks that I lose self-esteem every single time I fail at a goal set by myself, consciously or unconsciously. He also tried to get me to find a way to allow myself to take the pressure off but is still unsure of the root of the issue. He wants me to think about the possible roots to this and to take it back to him next week.
He's also pretty pleased with the 30 min relaxation time I've been taking for myself after each hot shower but still wants me to get more than 30 minutes of relaxation in.
He conceded tackling stress right away at my request since I'm in my exam period so I suggested that perhaps my stress is higher than usual so it wouldn't be accurate to pinpoint my stress level at this time.
Anyway, that's the summary of my 2nd visit to a psychiatrist. Hope you have fun analysing it Wondergirl. :)
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