Thank You talaniman. I am listening to what you are all saying. I don't know how to be good to myself. As a Careworker I do what they want me to do or what they need me to do. What I feel I need right now is to be hugged & loved. I don't know how to do that for myself. I have asked for help & am told that is the 1st step. I have emailed the people here in Adelaide who use The Journey as Red suggested so again asking for help. Other than that I don't know what to do. I am finding it difficult to leave this room. I am finding it impossible to smile. I am finding it almost impossible to stop crying & this has lasted 24 hrs. other than typing I don't have the drive to do anything other than cry