Lovely!

Phillysteakandcheese - God, can't someone be sarcasticly witty without being taken seriously on this forum? Indeed, the last section of my response was "tongue-in-cheek" - and I thought obviously so... No, I don't recommend being who you are not as it will wear thin in a very short while. But I do stick by the premise that a woman constantly complaining about not "having a man" - is difficult to befriend... There is always a tension there that will drive away even the closest friends - male or female...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jgj6331

Phillysteakandcheese - God, can't someone be sarcasticly witty without being taken seriously on this forum?....

---

Absolutely - However the "serious" advice is presented the same as the "sarcasticaly witty" advice with no indication otherwise.

If you had sepereated the last line and added a smiley I could interpret the line as you making a joke... As it reads, it's bad advice.

:)

Don't feel so bad. I'm 30 and never had a boyfriend :( and never been kissed :( . I was always a Tom Boy in school. Now that I am out of school and no longer play sports, the Tom Boy has gone away. Now I have low self esteem and I am afraid to talk to men.

I want to have kids and start my own family, but if I don't learn how to talk to men, then that dream is never going to come true (not unless I am the next Virgin Mary). I do talk to men on match doctors, eharmoney, or match.com, but I always get scared when they want to meet me and I tell them I'm not interested. We need to start a support club on how to build self confidence when talking to men.

So... um... your 30 and never had a boyfriend? Can I have your number?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chuff

So...um... your 30 and never had a boyfriend? Can I have your number?

---

LOL here he goes again :p ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Krs

LOL here he goes again :p ;)

---

I'm going to have Witrav and misslonewolf fighting over me!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chuff

I'm going to have Witrav and misslonewolf fightin over me!!!

---

You sure are, you bad bad boy ;)

Chuff, I think your having way too much fun lately, and Krs is right. Your getting to be a bad bad boy.

Hey witrav, I'm 26 and pretty much in the same boat as you. I don't consider myself particularly ugly, I'm clever and good in my job, good with people in general and never had a boyfriend. I've been asked for my phone number once when I was 18 (and a tom boy like misslonewolf :)) and once for a date last year. That's it. And both were guys I wasn't into at all (and before you guys go on a roar again: I'm honestly not fuzzed about looks!).

Personally, I feel that thinking and phantasizing about a boyfriend is really nice and hmmmm... but as soon as it comes to imagining someone in particular as my boyfriend I find myself crapping my pants (pardon my french). But I never actually get to worry about this bit, since no one is interested anyway. This makes me think: Do I do something to make people think I wouldn't be interested in them? I don't think that's something your friends' could analyse while observing you, it must be some small long-term attitude that somehow stuck in the head.

To be honest, I can't offer you any solution for your problem. I just want to let you know that you are not alone in this (and misslonewolf will probably agree) and there's a couple of others out there facing the same problem :rolleyes:

Hope this helps :o

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Krs

You sure are, you bad bad boy ;)

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

Chuff, I think your having way to much fun lately, and Krs is right. your getting to be a bad bad boy.

---

Well I agree I am having fun lately, or trying too. You know I try and bring smiles to faces all around the world. And I have been a bad bad boy. I think I need a spanking.

LMAO-Now even I admit it's gone to far.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tryss

Hey witrav, I'm 26 and pretty much in the same boat as you. I don't consider myself particularly ugly, I'm clever and good in my job, good with people in general and never had a boyfriend.

---

So... Umm your 26 and never had a boyfriend? Can I have your number?

Chuff Chuff

You are naughty...
Keeping your options open are you? ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tryss

Personally, I feel that thinking and phantasizing about a bf is really nice and hmmmm... but as soon as it comes to imagining someone in particular as my boyfriend I find myself crapping my pants (pardon my french). But I never actually get to worry about this bit, since noone is interested anyways. This makes me think: Do I do something to make people think I wouldn't be interested in them? I don't think that's something your friends' could analyse while observing you, it must be some small long-term attitude that somehow stuck in the head.

---

While even though I joked in the other post this is a real question that I'm going to address. Not knowing exactly how you interact with men I can only suggest that maybe your extending yourself as far as showing your interests in a man. If a man shows an interest in you and you start smoothering him than he's going to back away. I would suggest you think back to your situations in the past and think of a common denominator that may have chased the guy off.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tryss

To be honest, I can't offer you any solution for your problem. I just want to let you know that you are not alone in this (and misslonewolf will probably agree) and there's a couple of others out there facing the same problem :rolleyes:

---

To be honest I'm sure there are more than a couple of people in this situation. The three of you have just had the courage to admit it. Let's be honest, relationships seem great from the outside but when you get in them they can be (not always but can be) horrible and depressing. I guess what I'm saying is I've been single and happy and in a relationship and depressed and I'd pick single and happy over the other. You shouldn't be beating yourself up over this because there are a lot of benefits to being single.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Krs

Chuff Chuff

You are naughty...
Keepin ur options open are ya? ;)

---

Well I'm just spreading some Chuff love around for the ladies.

I am in exactly the same situation as you. I turn 28 this year and I have never had a date or a boyfriend. Plenty of guys have been attracted to me, and I've been attracted to plenty of guys, but never to each other! The men that fancy me I don't fancy, and the guys I fancy don't fancy me. I've never been interested in going out with someone for the sake of it.

Like you, my self-esteem isn't great... it's probably self-sabotaging on a subconscious level only, if you do push guys away. My advice, naff as it sounds, is learn to like and respect yourself first - be your own best friend. If you hear yourself criticising and saying hateful things about yourself just ask whether you would allow someone external to talk to you this way? Of course not! Love yourself first, men can wait.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by faithl

I turn 28 this year and I have never had a date or a boyfriend.

---

Hello faith, I'm Chuff. ;)

Glad to have you here. If you ever need anything just let me know. I'd be happy to help.

Ummmm... Let me get this straight, your 28 and never had a boyfriend... Can I have your number?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by faithl

I've never been interested in going out with someone for the sake of it.

---

That is such a healthy attitude. Some people get stuck in relationships for years and some people get stuck for an entire lifetime with people they don't love or that person abuses them. But they tell themselves no matter how bad the relationship is being single would be worse. That is false. I'd rather be single and happy then with someone and depressed.

Just curious as to your question you asked about being 27 and never having a boyfriend, and you think it's yourself esteem? Are your parents divorced?

I am turning 31 next month and never had a serious relationship. It really bugs me and I even lost my concentration at work because of this. Last year I got neurotic because I was still a virgin and was about to turn 30. I booked myself a holiday to Latin America and vowed to have my first time sex. I did with a greatlooking guy who had a girlfriend. I was heartbroken afterwards because I liked him a lot. I wanted to sleep with him again before I left the country but he didn't t. It s been nearly a year now since I had my first time sex and haven t had any sex in between. I would at least have hoped that getting my first time out of the way would have opened the doors for new and wonderful men coming into my life and having my first relationship but it didn't. In fact, I met a guy shortly after I returned to my contry and I was the one wanting to have sex immdiately. He refused me, what an ! Anyway, I think not having experience by my age is really a very bad thing and very embarrassing especially as people assume I ve been with men. The only men I ever attracted were idiots, taken men and ugly ones so how could I have been in a relationshi with anyone?? I do feel like I am a one off and all my friends are near to getting married or at least in a long term relationship and I haven t even started. I do feel that you need to be with more than one sexual partner before you gett married but what can I do if I have no one I can have sex with??

I found myself relating to what a lot of people mentioned so it seems we're not alone, yet I know how dreadful it is to not be able to answer why can't I have a relationship.

I'm 29 years old and never had a boyfriend. As I approach the big 30 I find myself thinking maybe I should have sex with any guy I can find because the thought of being a virgin at 30 seems so embarrassing and also seems to shout "there must be something seriously wrong with me".

I have a great social life, am outgoing and confident in meeting people and I have lots of guy friends so I know it's not necessarily a confidence in meeting guys thing. I've also met quite a few attractive guys but it never seems to move into the next stage and I did spend a long time last year in therapy to try to figure out why.

Self esteem definitely plays a part in it - I know I attract male attention, not in that I'm amazingly great looking but so far in life I've had my fair share of being able to meet guys, flirt with them, become great friends with them. So I'm not hideous but often that's how I feel.

The irony about the counselling was that the conclusion is you should face your fears in terms of having sex, a first relationship but I cannot get over how embarrassing it is that I have never done any of those things. I mean the average 30 year old guy would probably think there was something very wrong with me.

A lot of people assume my relationship history is very different and I cannot be bothered to correct them. Only my closest friends know the real truth. So more often now I think I'm almost pretending to be normal where deep down inside I really wonder if this means I will be single forever and on my worst days it just makes me wonder what it is that I seem to be doing so wrong.