i'm just trying to stay sane, myself. i think there's a happy meduim. do NOT contact the dumper, if you are the dumpee. even if that means until the day you die. get thru it one moment at a time. it sucks. IF they contact you, WAIT for 2 contacts before answering. do it sweetly, politely, but with no edge toward telling them you want to get back together. keep it friendly. keep your head together. above all, stay CALM. keep your voice on an even keel. NO MATTER WHAT. just never again for the rest of your life -- even after you're back together again -- NEVER CONACT THEM FIRST.

DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT WINNING BACK AN EX OR IS THIS JUST NOT POSSIBLE ? ----yes it is.

My partner and I were going through some problems,none of them seemed to be fault of our own,my family was causing a lot of stress for us,I decided to move 250 miles away back home.it was horrible,on the one hand we were so far apart we would never bump into each other, I guess that's a good thing if you are splitting up.on the other hand it was a big change for me, I was living with a member of my family temp,I had no internet,no job etc.
On top of that none of my family like my partner so I got no shoulder to cry on after splitting up with the one I had been with for 4 years.
At the time I had an instant messenger on my phone,we started talking on that,and both admitted we didn't want this,we wanted to be together,but didn't know how...

HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY DONE THIS AND HOW? --
We gave each other a bit of time and space to think about everything, the pro`s and the cons of getting back together/splitting up,even though we both knew that we wanted to be together we still had the space to clear our heads and be on our own for a while... like the saying "go away, give me a chance to miss you".it took 3 months for us to sort everything out. So yes it is possible...

I have been reading on the forums a lot lately about being on a break, and wanting time alone to figure things out... I know its hard,and awful when you don't know where you are,but just give things time, if its meant to be, it will be.

Online guy, you and I are in the same boat and I would like to encourage you to go on with your life. Truly NOT what you want to hear, but IT DOES HELP!! IT DOES WORK!! I just don't want you to be playing sitting duck waiting for her to finally ever decide she wants you. Continue to live your fulfilling life. Other girls may appreciate you!

They always want to know sooner or later how you are, especially if you two have history,and you want to be absolutely FINE if and when she does call not sarcastic or blamey. And remember when she calls, not to assume too much, she could just want to know how you are period. Dot.

I breathe in pain right now. I love this man, but if I truly love him, I would want him to be happy, even if it's not with me. Time away does us all some good.

I'd like to keep in touch!

Ninahhh!

Would you say its true that where as men are attracted to looks first, then how the girl makes him feel, women are atracted to how the man makes her feel then his looks.

Looks are always the first interest, they show how fertile a person is and that's all that our animal instinct wants to know, both man and woman. :)

I always say looks gets you in the door and your personality gets you an invite to stay.

I think that both sexes go on looks first, if you know nothing about someone other then what they look like then yes, you go hey that person is cute. I think for both sexes if you then began to talk to that attractive person and it turned out that they were dense, uninteresting, etc that some of that attractive fades off them.

Agreed!

I saw a documentary on TV, TLC or Discovery or History channel, and that show spoke to how mankind has, without direct communication, collaborated over the millennium in the process of elimination: looks get you noticed first based on a few things. I don't remember all of them. Women wearing lipstick was one. They stated that use makes the women appear more fertile and so more appealing to the man.

Did anyone else see that? I think it was called, "The History of Human Sexuallity"

Look gets audition, Personality gets the part!
If someone is not looking as attractive as he is, I will try to find things beautiful inside of him.
I see things beautifully and I make things beautiful.
It's all in our mind...

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Originally Posted by CaptainRich

Agreed!

I saw a documentary on TV, TLC or Discovery or History channel, and that show spoke to how mankind has, without direct communication, collaborated over the millenium in the process of elimination: looks get you noticed first based on a few things. I don't remember all of them. Women wearing lipstick was one. They stated that use makes the women appear more fertile and so more appealing to the man.

Did anyone else see that? I think it was called, "The History of Human Sexuallity"

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Yes I saw that, I believe it was on Discovery channel. It talked about how when a woman appears youthful she is more attractive to a mate (flushed cheeks, red lips, large eyes). And that when a man has rugged features and a muscular frame he is seen as a better provider (remnants of cave man days)

Have heard the term PUA - Pick up Artist. Guys who specialise in seducing women.

Does this sort of thing really work ? Do you women fall for this? Or do you see right through it, play along or get annoyed ?

Interesting question :] I know a few players however its only the sl*ts or those who are insecure and only like 'bad boys' who go for them.

I would imagine the younger ones go for players to.

There is a new show on Vh1 (I don't know if its international or not its just a TV channel) that has some master pick up artist teach some affable losers how to score with the ladies. It shows the pick up artists at work and I have to say I've heard a lot of those lines before and I've walked away. It's a lot of corny stuff that I think appeals to girls with low confidence and low self esteem.

Are you a male pick up artist, do you find success with genuine women or just women who are easy to get in to bed for anyone. Or is that all you are looking for ?

If a guy shows and interest in talking to you, asking about you and he seems like a nice guy. Is there a point where he can ask you out to soon and you will say no or is it better for him to wait and let you initiate some form of interest ?

I think that its important for a guy to read her cues. Is she being genuinely interested in the guy or just being polite? In what circumstances do they know one another? Does the girl not have a boyfriend or dating someone else?

Hello.

If your around the Lady and or her friends so that you can ask about her then you can set something up so you all can do something together. Going out in a group is easy and will give you both the chance to spend some time together without it being a DATE. If things look good at the gathering then ask her to coffee after.

Just remember she might say no the first few times because she could be playing hard to get so don't push her but also don't walk away and never try again.

Dennis777

I think there can be a point where it is to soon, but why not take the chance. If you are itnerested and you like talking to her and you think that she feels the same go for it. If anything just ahng out don't even consider it a date. if you are still completely comfprtable and everything goes great then let her know in a very casual way, you don't want to scare her off =) She could be thinking the same thing right now and you would never know because your afraind it may be too soon... So do something about it =) Alot of girls like a litte bit a a challenge, and a guy to treat her good so do all that and you should have it in the bag!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dennis777

Hello.


Just remember she might say no the first few times because she could be playing hard to get so don't push her but also don't walk away and never try agin.

Dennis777

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Is this not a contadiction, she might say no the first few time but never try again ? Confused by that, can you clarify?

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Originally Posted by onlineguy

Is this not a contadiction, she might say no the first few time but never try again ? Confused by that, can you clarify?

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You misread it hun...
She said not to walk away and never try again... meaning Do not walk away and do not give up!

Yes, women can play hard to get and some of them are really not knowing you very well.
U might think that they've already known you, but it takes different people different length of period to get ready for the next stage.:)

Good luck.