Ask Me Help Desk - My parents hate me

My parents hate me

I just can't write this without crying. My parents hate me, and I know it. They slapped me and yell at me when every I get bad grades or do accidents (drop stuff, forget to do take out the trash etc.) My dad barely talks to me. Everyday when I get home he is in his room typing up on the computer, and barely speaks. My mom is the same. They never love me, or try to comfort me when I have a hard time. I just hate it. Why am I destined to this life? What did I do? What can I do?

They're beating you and being verbally abusive as well. Call CPS, they'll come and assess the situation. If they find that you're in danger they'll remove you from the home and place you in foster care.

Now, let's hear the truth.

Do you do chores at home, make your bed every morning, do homework without being told time and again, get good grades or at least try your best, ask if there is anything extra you can do to help out, maybe bake a batch of cookies or cook a simple meal to help out now and then, sweep out the garage, wash up the bathroom without being told?

They don't let me use a phone. They are so strict to me. I can't go outside anywhere, nor can I play with my friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

They don't let me use a phone. They are so strict to me. I can't go outside anywhere, nor can I play with my friends.

So contact CPS via email. They obviously let you use the computer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Now, let's hear the truth.

Do you do chores at home, make your bed every morning, do homework without being told time and again, get good grades, ask if there is anything extra you can do to help out, maybe bake a batch of cookies or cook a simple meal to help out now and then, sweep out the garage, wash up the bathroom without being told?

I do most of the times, but some times I just forget. But usually I do it after they scold me. But I'm just sick and tired of them yelling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

I do most of the times, but some times i just forget. But usually I do it after they scold me. But im just sick and tired of them yelling.

Parents yell, especially if children don't listen. We are human too you know.

The yelling isn't an issue. The fact that they beat you, which you stated they do, is an issue. Physical abuse is against the law.

So contact CPS. If it's as bad as you say, they're the only ones that can help you.

Why do they allow you to use the computer, and not the phone?

I'm guessing you are about 9 years old and maybe want something they don't want to give you, like an iPod or tablet?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

I do most of the times, but some times i just forget. But usually I do it after they scold me. But im just sick and tired of them yelling.

There's a solution for this -- do what they tell you and right away and cheerfully, and then they won't yell and, if you do a fantastic job, you will even get a smile and a hug.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Parents yell, especially if children don't listen. We are human too you know.

The yelling isn't an issue. The fact that they beat you, which you stated they do, is an issue. Physical abuse is against the law.

So contact CPS. If it's as bad as you say, they're the only ones that can help you.

Why do they allow you to use the computer, and not the phone?

I can use my dad's laptop for school work. And also they beat me for getting bad grade and for a reason. I am saying that this is too extreme and what should I do. They hit me for a reason, but I think its too much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

There's a solution for this -- do what they tell you and right away and cheerfully, and then they won't yell and, if you do a fantastic job, you will even get a smile and a hug.

WG, the yelling isn't what concerns me. The OP stated that they beat her. If that's true, then this child needs help.

If she's unwilling to call or email CPS on her own, I think the mods have to take matters into their own hands. Her location can be tracked very easily. If she can't call and she's in danger, it's our responsibility to make sure she gets help. We can have the police there in a matter of minutes.

So really, it's up to her. If she's telling the whole truth, and she's too afraid to do anything about it, then we have to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

There's a solution for this -- do what they tell you and right away and cheerfully, and then they won't yell and, if you do a fantastic job, you will even get a smile and a hug.

Ok I will try it.. Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

I can use my dad's laptop for school work. And also they beat me for getting bad grade and for a reason. I am saying that this is too extreme and what should I do. They hit me for a reason, but I think its too much.

Like I said earlier, there's a solution for this -- do what they tell you and right away and cheerfully, and then they won't yell and, if you do a fantastic job, you will even get a smile and a hug.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

WG, the yelling isn't what concerns me. The OP stated that they beat her. If that's true, then this child needs help.

If she's unwilling to call or email CPS on her own, I think the mods have to take matters into their own hands. Her location can be tracked very easily. If she can't call and she's in danger, it's our responsibility to make sure she gets help. We can have the police there in a matter of minutes.

So really, it's up to her. If she's telling the whole truth, and she's too afraid to do anything about it, then we have to.

I don't want to take something too extreme. I want to fix this first. There are some cases where they do listen to me. Like I asked them right now and they said they will in 5 minutes. (talk to me about my problems)

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

I can use my dad's laptop for school work. And also they beat me for getting bad grade and for a reason. I am saying that this is too extreme and what should I do. They hit me for a reason, but I think its too much.

You're on the computer right now, and you're not using it for school work. You're using it to get help on this site. So send a letter to CPS in your area.

We can track your location. If they're beating you, that's child abuse. We can have the police at your house in minutes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

WG, the yelling isn't what concerns me. The OP stated that they beat her. If that's true, then this child needs help.

If she's unwilling to call or email CPS on her own, I think the mods have to take matters into their own hands. Her location can be tracked very easily.

Yes, I have already tracked her location.

What should I tell them. They said now they will try to listen. But what should I ask from them in specific?

By beat, I don't mean like hit with a rod or soemthing. It's a slap. Sorry if its not clear

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

I dont want to take something too extreme. I want to fix this first. There are some cases where they do listen to me. Like i asked them right now and they said they will in 5 minutes. (talk to me about my problems)

There is no way to fix child abuse other than to remove the child from the home, put the parents in jail, and hope that while they're in jail, they get help.

You told us they beat you. That is an extreme situation, and the only way to handle an extreme situation is to do something extreme.

If you won't call CPS, we will.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yes, I have already tracked her location.

I don't want this to happen. I just want somehow to make my parents understand

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

There is no way to fix child abuse other than to remove the child from the home, put the parents in jail, and hope that while they're in jail, they get help.

You told us they beat you. That is an extreme situation, and the only way to handle an extreme situation is to do something extreme.

If you won't call CPS, we will.

I think its working. My dad said he will listen. Can I contact back inlike 2 weeks before we make a rash decision?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

What should I tell them. They said now they will try to listen. but what should I ask from them in specific?

Ask them to make a short and simple list of things they want you to do every day -- maybe five things, like, make your bed, make your school lunch (the night before?), fold any clean laundry and help put it away, do homework without arguing. Are they interested in making a good list for you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

By beat, i dont mean like hit with a rod or soemthing. Its a slap. Sorry if its not clear

Now your story is changing.

You said that they beat you. Beating is child abuse. A slap is discipline, not abuse. So which is it?

Are you changing your story because you didn't realize we wouldn't walk away from this, we would make sure you got help? Or are you changing your story because you lied?

If you lied about this, what else are you lying about?

Guys my parents said that it was all because of a lie that I told. Its not their fault Its mine. Im sorry for posting this and wasting your time. Please its my fault. Can we take this down. I solved this issue during my talk.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Now your story is changing.

You said that they beat you. Beating is child abuse. A slap is discipline, not abuse. So which is it?

Are you changing your story because you didn't realize we wouldn't walk away from this, we would make sure you got help? Or are you changing your story because you lied?

If you lied about this, what else are you lying about?

It was a slap. Sorry I did not really know the difference

I want to hear from you again by Tuesday evening, to let us know things are improving. I will be waiting and watching for your post on this thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Now your story is changing.

You said that they beat you. Beating is child abuse. A slap is discipline, not abuse. So which is it?

Are you changing your story because you didn't realize we wouldn't walk away from this, we would make sure you got help? Or are you changing your story because you lied?

If you lied about this, what else are you lying about?

I think I should have rephrased my question. They slap me for like not following what they say. I just wanted to know why they were doing it. And how I could fix it

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I want to hear from you again by Tuesday evening, to let us know things are improving. I will be waiting and watching for your post on this thread.

Ok they said like each day they would spend 30 minutes takling and seeing if I had any problems. They started to cry as well. Could it be due to my lack of communication with them?

Sorry, I really did not know the difference between beat and slap. They did slap me.

So now my parents said they felt sad (after our talk). They also asked how I wanted to solve this. I said talk with me more. And try to talk it out first before slapping. Do you think I should tell them more?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

Ok they said like each day they would spend 30 minutes takling and seeing if i had any problems. They started to cry as well. Could it be due to my lack of communication with them?

It sounds like they might not be clear with instructions, and maybe you aren't being a good listener.

I want to hear from you again by Tuesday evening, to let us know things are improving. I will be waiting and watching for your post on this thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

Guys my parents said that it was all because of a lie that I told. Its not their fault Its mine. Im sorry for posting this and wasting your time. Please its my fault. Can we take this down. I solved this issue during my talk.

When did your parents tell you this? You've been posting to us all this time with no break.

This can't be taken down. Once you post a thread, it stays unless it goes against site rules. Your thread doesn't go against site rules, so it won't be removed.

My take on this. You posted here because you're ticked off that you didn't get something you wanted, and you wanted someone to feel sorry for you so you told a lie about being abused. When you realized that we could, and would, send CPS and the police to your house because you claimed to be abused, you realized that your lie could get you in big trouble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

So now my parents said they felt sad (after our talk). They also asked how I wanted to solve this. I said talk with me more. And try to talk it out first before slapping. Do you think i should tell them more?

I think you should promise them some things too. Any ideas?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Ask them to make a short and simple list of things they want you to do every day -- maybe five things, like, make your bed, make your school lunch (the night before?), fold any clean laundry and help put it away, do homework without arguing. Are they interested in making a good list for you?

Yea they are. I guess I just misinterperated them. Like my perspective on them was different. And I know they mean it this time since they were so emotionally moved. They said that they would help out a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

When did your parents tell you this? You've been posting to us all this time with no break.

This can't be taken down. Once you post a thread, it stays unless it goes against site rules. Your thread doesn't go against site rules, so it won't be removed.

My take on this. You posted here because you're ticked off that you didn't get something you wanted, and you wanted someone to feel sorry for you so you told a lie about being abused. When you realized that we could, and would, send CPS and the police to your house because you claimed to be abused, you realized that your lie could get you in big trouble.

Yea I was kind of pissed and I really did not know the difference between beat and slap till you clarified

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

Yea i was kind of pissed and I really did not know the difference between beat and slap till you clarified

I'd still like to know when you had this lengthy discussion with your parents, tears were shed, plans were made, when you've been posting with us non stop since you started this thread 30 minutes ago.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

When did your parents tell you this? You've been posting to us all this time with no break.

This can't be taken down. Once you post a thread, it stays unless it goes against site rules. Your thread doesn't go against site rules, so it won't be removed.

My take on this. You posted here because you're ticked off that you didn't get something you wanted, and you wanted someone to feel sorry for you so you told a lie about being abused. When you realized that we could, and would, send CPS and the police to your house because you claimed to be abused, you realized that your lie could get you in big trouble.

I just wanted help on how to solve with my parents. They are telling me right now like I told them about how I posted rashly and how I did not mean what I meant. They are looking at your comments, and think that you can help us solve our conflict

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaawsome

I just wanted help on how to solve with my parents. They are telling me right now like i told them about how i posted rashly and how i did not mean what i meant. They are looking at your comments, and think that you can help us solve our conflict

Ask your mom or dad to post a comment here now. I want to talk to one of them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

I'd still like to know when you had this lengthy discussion with your parents, tears were shed, plans were made, when you've been posting with us non stop since you started this thread 30 minutes ago.

See they are not really good with like knowing what to do. So I told them how I posted here, they read the comments and you and the other person's ideas were helpful to them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Ask your mom or dad to post a comment here now. I want to talk to one of them.

Ok they are both willing to co-operate. They are the ones chatting now