My kids were taken away by cps a very long time ago and it had nothing to do with physical abuse- I got drunk at a mans house and it turned domestic-0 he had prescription drugs on the counter and cps took them!- recently my daughter got back in touch with me. But it seems all she ever wants is money from me! I told her to get a job and now she is mad at me! I feel like she is taking me for granted and is not respecting my opinion at all when I know what I am talking about! Can somebody please explain to me what I should do?

How old is the daughter,

Ask her to go to dinner your treat so you can catch up. Don't mention money. Get to know her ask questions like "How are you?" Befriend her again if you really want a closer relationship.
Tell her you want to be friends. The is is from a daughter's perspective! Tell me what happens if you try this! Keep me updated! :)

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

How old is the daughter,

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She is eighteen but she lives across the country and is about to graduate high school- all I did was tell her to get a part-time job and she is mad at me! I am confused as to why and what to do?

I agree with Ela2219, but you should also maybe try explaining how you feel, and how you wish to be close with her, but that she needs to understand you are her mother. If she is old enough to be working, its her responsibility to pay whatever needs paid, unless you make a deal, or are feeling generous, and make an agreement to pay, like half of her car or rent expense... I guess it depends on the situation too. What kind of money? Like $30 to buy clothes, and hang with friends... or $900 to help pay for rent, car, college, etc.

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Originally Posted by Ela2219

Ask her to go to dinner your treat so you can catch up. Don't mention money. Get to know her ask questions like "How are you?" Befriend her again if you really want a closer relationship.
Tell her you want to be friends. The is is from a daughter's perspective! Tell me what happens if you try this! Keep me updated! :)

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I live soooo far away from her and she is graduating next month, maybe she is upset that I can't afford to travel and see her graduate? IDK! I am confused with her- she seems to get upset when I give her advice!

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Originally Posted by latina71

i live soooo far away from her and she is graduating next month, maybe she is upset that i can't afford to travel and see her graduate? IDK! i am confused with her- she seems to get upset when i give her advice!

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Maybe she is just going through a phase because she is graduating high school and may be afraid of the unknown? And maybe she is mad because I am not there? I just can't afford to give her money she is almost nineteen years old!

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Originally Posted by latina71

she is eighteen but she lives across the country and is about to graduate high school- all i did was tell her to get a part-time job and she is mad at me! I am confused as to why and what to do?

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I love her very much but it seems she doesn't care about my feelings as well- and that I just want her to be independent cause I may not always be around for her1

How much have you been around for her until now? How much has she relied on you for emotional and/or financial support?

I have been there since she got in touch with me for her eighteenth birthday- and i have sent her money and gifts- as much as possible- she won't call me- but we communicate via-facebook alot- i just wish i could go see her- physically- i just can't afford to travel across country right now!

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Originally Posted by latina71

i HAVE BEEN THERE SINCE SHE GOT IN TOUCH WITH ME FOR HER EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY- AND I HAVE SENT HER MONEY AND GIFTS- AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE- SHE WONT CALL ME- BUT WE COMMUNICATE VIA-FACEBOOK ALOT- I JUST WISH I COULD GO SEE HER- PHYSICALLY- I JUST can't AFFORD TO TRAVEL ACROSS COUNTRY RIGHT NOW!

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Typing in caps is the same as shouting at me - please don't.

For her is it all about the money and gifts or do you have an emotional bond of any sort?

And I agree - travel is prohibitively expensive.

Is she attempting to punish you in some way for not being there for her physically? For maybe not providing financial support when she was younger?

Well I always try to talk to her about whatever she chooses to discuss- and I always give her emotional support- she may have internal anger because I am not there- and it makes me feel awful that I can't afford to see her graduate- I just don't know how to talk to her it seems "I get under her skin" as she puts it.

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Originally Posted by latina71

well i always try to talk to her about whatever she chooses to discuss- and i always give her emotional support- she may have internal anger because i am not there- and it makes me feel awful that i can't afford to see her graduate- i just dont know how to talk to her it seems "I get under her skin" as she puts it.

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I suspect she's just striking out - time changes things, particularly at her age. The best you can do is be emotionally supportive, explain whatever it is she needs/wants to hear to the best of your ability, know you did what you could under the circumstances, both then and now.

Don't beat yourself up.