My son hates me. I can't stand the lack of respect!
How do I say this and still keep it simple? I have a 15yr old son and a 13yr old daughter. I have been married for 16 years. I know there has been a lot of ups and downs in my marriage that both my kids have been forced to witness. I am not the world best dad but I try. At least I have stuck it out, that is more than I can say for my dad. Any way I guess the issue stems partly to my short temper when my son treats his sister like crap. He bosses her around and he makes her feel like she isn't wanted like she shouldn't even be here. He entagonizes her to the point she runs into her room crying and even once she cut her wrists because he told her that we didn't love or want her around. This is not true we love them both with every breath. I see the manipulation for attention he is trying to get by these actions because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I have always been very manipulative since I was very young. But this makes me blow my top, not to extremes, I just yell and I can get pretty loud but I have never hit either of my children for any reason and never will. But when I get mad at him in the beginning he would say that I was favoring his sister but I only yell when I can take the there fighting. Now here is the deal. His mother started to say I was favoring my daughter and singeling him out and has gotten to the point that if I even say anything about his behavior his mother will jump down my throat like I am the bad guy. I am just trying to do my part the best I can. I do in a sense try and stand up for my daughter because it seems at times that he and his mother treat her unfairly not like ganging up on her but more like she isn't as important as he is or something to that nature. And it has kind of always been like this and so I try and give a little extra mental support so she doesn't feel bad. I know it makes me feel terrible to have to see her treated like this because she is such a beautiful person inside and out and I know she has been through a lot and she acts like it's no big deal. When my son recently went out of state for a school related trip for a week I noticed imeadietly how her spirits lifted she was smiling and laughing and now it's back to the same, however he is directing his anger towards me as well. He knows I can't do anything to him because his mother will get mad at me for trying to discipline him, so he he will call me a jerk under his breath and will do nothing I ask of him and it has gotten to the point that we won't talk to each other or even look at each other. I know he hates me and I know he thinks he is smarter then me so he has a total lack of respect for me. The only time he will do what he is told is when his mother tells him to do it. I still try and be there for him, for example I paid for his school trip and even gave five hundred dollars for spending money on his trip and kind of wish he hadn't come back. I am trying so hard to keep love in my heart for him and I have such sorrow for how he has treated his sister all of these years I don't know if I can take it any longer. Sometimes I just want to beat him till he understands, but I know that that won't fix it and I can't talk to him, so do I just sit on the sidelines and watch him do what ever he wants and in the process drag my daughter through the gutter as his little tool. God someone please help me through this before I do something I am going to regret!:eek: