If I hear the words " My god pregnant again you must be mad - How will you cope - You need a bigger house - Have you no TV set in your house " I will scream !
I have 4 cildren aged - 10 years - 6 years - 5years and 8 months and due my 5th baby in May.

Ok so we do not live in a mansion more a comftable normal sized 3 bedroomed house - the comments on where do they all sleep really annoys me - In a bed where do they think ?

I work and y partner takes care of the kids an house ( I am self employed and 90% of the time am able to work from home and am always there when the kids are at home ) I am also studying at home for a degree in Psychology.
My partner is a superb hands on dad and more than capable of doing all the duties I can do when it comes to the kids and house.

We do not go out - maybe twice a year without the kids - we strive to ensure all the kids gets individiual attention - they to be honest are spoilt bloody rotten and most def go without nothing. They get before we do !

I am the only one in the school yard who has more than 3 children and it bugs me that others think I insane to desire the idea of having a large family !

What are the general pros and cons in having a large family ?
My dad was 1 of 14 - my mum 1 of 5 - I am 1 of 4 and my partner 1 of 4 - so having a huge family around us is normal to us.

Why do others think or look at me as if I am Insane ? It does not upset me as in reduce me to tears but it does ind of get to me as I feel I am being judged !

I think my biggest problem, personally, with large families is that this earth is already overcrowded enough. If you wanted that many children, why not be a foster parent?

Having 5 kids either seems like poor planning to me, or seems very selfish.

Funny you should mention being a foster parent as it is something I would love to do once all my own children have grown up and left home.

As for being selfish could you please explain how you think I am being that way.

As for the poor planning I can assure you none of my children were mistakes they were all planned.

I also come from big family 1 of 6 and I absolutely intend on having a big one myself. Coming from a large family makes me so proud, I have so much joy in my heart when I see all my nieces and nephews running around. I love to talk about my family because we have so many memories and laughs. Not to mention, I will always have my big brothers if I ever need someone beaten up. Its freaking great!
As far as overpopulating, screw that. Out of the thousands of babies born everyday, one of them are bound to be smart enough to get us to another planet so we can populate that.

I just meant it SEEMS that way. Not that it necessarily IS that way.

Both of my parents were 1 of 5. We grew up with two families in our neighborhood with more than 4 kids. My grandparents varied in family size from 5 kids to 14 kids. My sister has 5 kids.

Believe me, I understand the joys and sorrows of having a huge family!

However, it SEEMS selfish because there are so many kids out there that need help, and would benefit from having "siblings" like your own kids, rather than you adding to the population of the earth.

Honestly--you asked why people seem to judge you, and I was just giving my opinion. My sister complains of the same thing you do--that people think she's crazy, or an idiot, or both to have had 5 kids.

My husband and I don't have kids. While fostering is certainly an option for us eventually, we've just moved too much in the last 10 years do to my husband's job for there to be a stable environment for ANY kids, much less foster kids, who would probably have not been allowed to move across the country with us.

/shrug... I don't care one way or another how many kids people have, as long as they support them themselves (no state help). I do, however, think that someone who wants a huge family would be more environmentally conscious to foster/adopt than to have that many of their own children.

Just my opinion. Nothing more.

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Originally Posted by mysterious5

as far as overpopulating, screw that. out of the thousands of babies born everyday, one of them are bound to be smart enough to get us to another planet so we can populate that.

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And one will be a genius that figures out a way to kill off a lot of people in one fell stroke, like Hitler, to reduce the population of the "undesirables", whoever they may be.

The universe likes balance, so for every genius of good, there is a genius of bad--or a genius of good intentions that lead to hell.

Sorry the idea that where do you find the time to log on , comes to mind.

But my issue is that you and husband do not go out, you need some regular "date" times, at least twice a month and build and work on that relationship also.

I think so many of the other parents on the playground are shocked because along with the added responsibility of a larger family comes the added financial responsibility. My wife and I are both teachers and I make a very good salary for my field. We are expecting our first baby and I'll be struggling to keep my wife home for six months. So I think that's where a lot of the shock comes from.

I believe TLC or another network has the shows "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" and "Eighteen and Counting." Granted, they have quite a bit more than 5 kids, but I always wonder how the hell do they afford everything? The wives are home... what kind of salaries must these husbands be making?! Let's face it... the fewer children you have, the easier it will be for them to get a head in the world financially. But how will they be socially? Will they come down with what I call "Only Child Syndrome?"

As a teacher who works with a variety of children and families, I believe if you can only afford to have 2 kids... then have 2 kids. If you can afford to raise 6 kids... then have six. I just can't stand the parents who have 5 kids but can't afford to raise them. I think it is completely irresponsible, selfish, cruel, and a stress on our society.

Mum2five, if you can afford to raise your children in a happy, healthy home... then to hell with everyone else. I wish you many happy memories.

When do I have time to log on ? When the children are sleeping and hubby is doing his own thing , we spend all day together so one kids are asleep we like to have some time to ourselves .

As for socialising we do that a lot its just that we involve the kids too. I would rather go to a kids themed restaurant rater than go out with friends!Our friends all have kids so we tend to awlays involve the kids.

As for quality time we talk all the time and always make sure we have time on an evening to either eat or watch a film or just fall asleep !

Finances are the same as everyone else who works and raises a family, we buy as we can afford- do not do credit and live by our means , I am lucky as I am my own boss and staff do the most hours so can be home with the kids , so miss out on nothing.

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Originally Posted by mum2five

If I hear the words " My god pregnant again you must be mad - How will you cope - You need a bigger house - Have you no TV set in your house " I will scream !
I have 4 cildren aged - 10 years - 6 years - 5years and 8 months and due my 5th baby in May.

Ok so we do not live in a mansion more a comftable normal sized 3 bedroomed house - the comments on where do they all sleep really annoys me - In a bed where do they think ?

I work and y partner takes care of the kids an house ( I am self employed and 90% of the time am able to work from home and am always there when the kids are at home ) I am also studying at home for a degree in Psychology.
My partner is a superb hands on dad and more than capable of doing all the duties I can do when it comes to the kids and house.

We do not go out - maybe twice a year without the kids - we strive to ensure all the kids gets individiual attention - they to be honest are spoilt bloody rotten and most def go without nothing. They get before we do !

I am the only one in the school yard who has more than 3 children and it bugs me that others think I insane to desire the idea of having a large family !

What are the general pros and cons in having a large family ?
My dad was 1 of 14 - my mum 1 of 5 - I am 1 of 4 and my partner 1 of 4 - so having a huge family around us is normal to us.

Why do others think or look at me as if I am Insane ? It does not upset me as in reduce me to tears but it does ind of get to me as I feel I am being judged !

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Some are curious, others are terrified that if they can't handle their one or two, maybe three and you can handle 4-5 and come out "looking like roses" or "happy" then they are bad parents. Other people may think it kind of unfair or (not sure the word) that you "make" 4-5 kids while howmany others suffer due to no one to love them, they may think you should adopt. Then there are those who have to adopt, and can't have even one child. The list goes on...

The bottom line, maybe forgive them for their insecurities, fears, curiousities, etc. After all we are all just human, and our main means to understand one another is by comparing our ideals with some one else's. Mind you, I've realised that if you say if I felt this way I'd act differntly then this person, but I was riased differently, so maybe they had it hardder or what ever. Makes it so I can see why people behave in any situation, even if I don't know the reasons.

Congrates on the little ones. I too hope to have a bigger family, but I only want to have 2 then adopt however many I feel is appropriate. I also plan on beinga socail worker, hopefully with a good wife who wants the same, but if not. That's cool too. There is always the love of my life, my guitfiddle. Haha.

Peace be with you.

P.S. Some people don't realise that they are upsetting you, try letting them know. In a nice way, so you don't have to feel stressed about them.

I think you sound like a great parent. Personally I would love more children though I was told I only had a 1% chance with my daughter so she is our little miracle and I doubt another miracle will happen unfortunately.

I guess people should ask the questions:

Are you and partner happy?
Are children happy and well cared for and loved?

And just by what you have written I would say yes you sound happy and your children seem very loved.

Maybe people are jealous? Sounds silly I know though I know some people who can't have children get jelous and sour about those who can, though being a person who took over 3 years of being told I probably won't have children and then now probably never having another miracle, I know I was never jealous of those who could and hate how people can be. Im happy for you and your family and you should ignore those who make silly comments.

I think Im rambling on a bit there sorry about that :o

I think some people are just busybodies by nature and like to say things to stir other people up.

I have a girlfriend that is married but has no desire to have children. She gets all kinds of rude comments and questions on why she hasn't had/doesn't want children.

If I could afford to stay home, I'd have a million babies. I don't see anything wrong with that at all. As long as you can afford to feed them, clothe them, put a roof over their heads and love them, I say have as many as you want! :)

I don't think there is anything wrong with large families, but I do agree on the fostering or adopting issue. If you have the need for many children and a large family, help a little one who has no one. Also, if you can provide for them more power to you. BUT for those that keep having kids that my tax dollars are feeding, providing medicine, clothing, warming, etc etc etc when my family is struggling to make ends meet, they should be fixed like a cat!!

No, not wrong, why would it be. You will always have each other, know one can take that away. Good Job

It is all your decision... your body, your kids. If you are willing to be a responsible parent there is no reason that anyone should be able to tell you how many kids are acceptable.
Now it would be another matter entirely if you were living off your parents and had say 14 kids. Live your life as long as you are happy with it don't worry about what other people think. I have 3 daughters and 1 son (newborn twins, 11, and 14) :)

I don't think 5 kids are a lot. My best friend was one of 8 kids. My wife and I are trying NOT to have any kids. So just consider it that you are picking up the slack for people like my wife and I ;)

I once worked with a woman who had 8 kids and was pregnant and working with her 9th. She had it all figured out. She goes to work and lets the other kids take care of the other kids. Great plan. She had her 9th and the poor child had a cleft palate and a few other health problems. Didn't bother her as she planned on having more kids. She did get a permanent job with the IRS(!) shortly after I knew her. Her home only had just so many bedrooms and was in violation of the local Zoning Dept laws for density. She thought she was entitled to all her children. She just didn't take care of them! Husband worked full time as a HVAC tech.

I come from a big family and I have always wanted a big family myself. I have 2 children, but in the future would love to have more.
When I see people with 4+ kids I think to myself "lucky!" ~ LOL
I grew up in a house where Dad was a Catholic High School Teacher (they really do not make much money at all) and mom worked until my brother (the 4th child) was born. My grandmother also lived with us. Havinf said all that, we did not have a lot of miney growing up, but never really wanted for much. We were well taken care of.
I think that many people in society today are selfish. However, I believe this to be true because there are a lot of parents out there that like the idea of having a family, but do not put the work into raising their chidren.
In a perfect world everyoen would have the money needed for everything that they took on, this is not the case, especially in this society.
Sometimes it is not about what you can buy or afford, but the sacrafices that you are willing to make for your kids that allows for them to have such a great life.

No, you can have as many kids you want and who cares what anyone else has to say because you and your husband are the only ones that have to deal with and take care of them.

Next time someone makes that comment to you say " and were planning on having two more" and see there reactions.

You and your husband seems like good parents and instead of them focusing on you and your kids they should be more concern about the mothers that has less kids than you and mistreat them.

Continue being a good mom and take care of yourself and family.

If you were thinking about having foster children only when your natural children leave home - why not do it NOW? You want that additional child or two added to your family for whatever reason - why not add a child who could really use a home as they have no home or loving parents? You sound more selfish and selfcentered waiting until after your kids leave home. Why now now??