Will do, your kids are very lucky :)

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Originally Posted by imaveronica

will do, your kids are very lucky :)

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My older one turns 40 on Monday, so I will be sure to remind him how lucky he is. :D

Stop letting your mother put a guilt trip on you all the time. Say no and mean it. If she choses to stop talking to you, then that's fine with you. She never grew up. Face it. You did. Treat her like you would any willfull child. You got the college degree. Did she get one? Probably not from the sounds of it. Maybe she has a very bad case of jealousy and could not handle going to your graduation and chose to start "early" by setting up impossible scenerios she knew you would fail so she would have a "good" reason not to attend and make YOU feel bad. Ignore her behavior. You know better. Stop beating yourself up over what she thinks as it's not important. The whole world is not her, her, her like she thinks it is. When you have kids I am sure you won't be like her towards them.

Actually we went to the same college.. but thank you, it's reassuring to hear these things. :)

If you've already spoken to her about how this crazy behavior is driving a wedge in your relationship( I mean a sit down, no B.S. talk), then you are going to have to change how her personality affects you. SHE obviously is not going to change, you already know that. These things usually get WORSE before they get BETTER.

And I agree, you are going to have to stop apologizing for things that you know you didn't do just to keep the peace. You said it, you're an adult now. Stop being made to feel like a child again. I would say something like: " If it makes you feel better to apologize for something I didn't do, then O.K., I'm so very sorry...(dripping with sarcasm), how can you forgive me?" Make a joke out of it so she can realize how ridiculous it is.

Ask her how this selfish behavior is going to effect your children, HER grandchildren? Sacrifices have to be made by all to have a normal, healthy, relationship.

Sure, you should forgive her, being mad at someone wastes energy and time.

Dr Kevin Leman has some great family relationship books. He's great.

I have to ask, are you in counseling? Maybe that's another avenue for you to explore.

Do this. Stand anywhere, and pretend that there's a Hula-Hoop on the ground, around your feet. YOU are responsible for everything INSIDE that circle. Everything OUTSIDE of the circle, YOU cannot control. Stop letting everything outside of the circle control your sanity.

And remember, you are the "normal" one.

I wish you luck.

No, I am not in counseling with her.. we live 30 miles away and I don't feel like traveling upstate and dedicating an entire day to be "counseled" when as you say I am the normal one. Of course she would love this option as the counsellor or therapist is just another person to listen to her, aside from the fact that she doesn't work.

I forgive her because, as you say, it's a losing battle. And she doesn't think she's being selfish, in fact, she thinks I'M being selfish because I "don't take her feelings seriously." As I said, she's both overly sensitive and extremely manipulative, a volatile combination. Having to wait five minutes for somebody should never cause a person to become enraged, heartbroken, vengeful or disappear. Yes she has either exhibited all of these behaviors, while completely blowing the situation out of proportion. But in her eyes this is only one "opinion" and I should be aware of the fact that she is "sensitive."

Lastly, thank you for your interest in my story, it is most appreciated. I'll try to follow your advice :)