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-   -   I know my dad loves me but I feel he's too over protective and I want time away (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=447262)

  • Feb 15, 2010, 08:46 AM
    rosanna-hope

    The legal age to go to that festival without an adult over 18 is 16. If I can't prove myself this year WITH an adult then how am I going to do it next year? I'm not even being given a chance! If things go wrong then I don't go again, simple as that
  • Feb 15, 2010, 08:53 AM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rosanna-hope View Post
    the legal age to go to that festival without an adult over 18 is 16. if i can't prove myself this year WITH an adult then how am i going to do it next year? im not even being given a chance! if things go wrong then i dont go again, simple as that

    What adult? A sister who won't stay with you at night or really even through the day? Sorry, that is not 'with an adult'?

    If you wanted to prove yourself, you would show your maturity by accepting your father's decision and hope that if you can talk your sister into spending the nights or get another adult to go with you that he will change his mind.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 08:56 AM
    Kitkat22

    I still agree with your Dad. Parents have built in radar when it comes to their children. This radar tells us if we feel uneasy about allowing our children to something, to go with feeling and say no. I'm sorry but I think your much to young.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 08:56 AM
    rosanna-hope

    It is with an adult if she leaves for the nights.. what happens if I'm in trouble and she's in another arena? What happens if I can't find her because she's in the middle of a crowd? What happens if we get separated? If she's outside of that in a shopping center or hotel I can get hold of her no doubt about it and I will always be able to hear her clearly and ill know where she is and shell be able to get hold of me.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:02 AM
    Kitkat22

    You answered your own question. The what "ifs". Hope you try to understand.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:03 AM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rosanna-hope View Post
    it is with an adult if she leaves for the nights..

    No, it isn't. To think that it is, is a very mistaken idea.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:05 AM
    rosanna-hope

    That's not what I meant, I'm not good with words!
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:05 AM
    smoothy
    You are missing the point everyone is making.

    You aren't an adult... you don't have the life experience to make adult decisions yet. Responsible people don't take 3 days out of their life to go to a music festival, therefore the majority of people attending the festival are't going to be the most responsible types or the best behaved types.

    You are completely ignoring everything everyone has been telling you.

    You can't rationalise the facts... you can't explain away the reality.

    You may be a good kid at heart... but you are still a kid. A kid among a LOT of other irresponsible kids and even less responsible adults. Face it... if they were responsible they would either be in school, or work. Or have other important things that they can't walk away from for 3 days.

    Your arguments trying to justify going are very poor and exactly the kind that a kid would make. When you are older and have some actual life experience you will understand what we are trying to make you understand now.

    Your father knows it.. we know it... its you that can't see it. I know first hand what happens in these sorts of crowds at this type of event. I know what can and does happen to a few people every time. And YOU can easily be one of those people... more likely than someone with more street smarts would be.

    I've been to these sorts of events in the past... as an adult. You as someone who thinks its going to be like a church event aren't going to be able to convince me as someone who knows what peolple are like in that sort of environment is going to somehow be any different just because you would be there.

    Bad things have a way of happening to good people when they are unaware of or choose to ignore the reality of what's going on around them. Because the sad fact of life is... there are a lot of bad people with bad things in their heart just waiting to take advantage of people.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:09 AM
    rosanna-hope

    Why would they be in school or work when its;
    a) August bank holiday
    b) summer holidays

    Yeah, they may be what a kid would make but I don't think parents are understanding the frustration, you can say they went through it before - some do, some don't! What happens to "expect the worst, hope for the best and never be dissapointed"?
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:10 AM
    redhed35

    Rosanna,your still 14,and will only have turned 15 by the time the festival is on.

    Everyone has made valid points.

    Your dad is doing his job,that's what dads do,if his concession is to let kim go with you,I suggest to take it and run,don't try and push him a little further,he might change his mind,think your not mature enough.

    He's trying to meet you half way,meet him there.

    There's going to be concerts galore as you get older,and much to see and learn,try and accept your dad knows what he's doing and trust in that.

    The year from 15 to 16,you will mature a little more and he may allow a little more freedom,what you have is age approriate.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:18 AM
    rosanna-hope

    Yes I know everyone made valid points, and I've taken them in. I am meeting him half way by saying my sister can go with me, what's the difference if she's in a hotel up the road or in a festival that's a lot more distance to cover then going up the road. I already go to concerts and have been going since I was about 12. He understands how much music means to me and how much I love the bands and atmosphere
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:22 AM
    Kitkat22

    Good Luck.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:28 AM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rosanna-hope View Post
    whats the difference if shes in a hotel up the road or in a festival thats alot more distance to cover then going up the road.

    If she is staying in the tent with you at night, there isn't that much difference.

    You seem to have some underlying belief that once you are in your tent nothing can happen. Please, think again. At night, in the dark, in a tent, asleep, you are at your most vulnerable.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:30 AM
    rosanna-hope

    You lock your tents at night, my sister wouldn't be staying with me and my girlfriends as she's going with her boyfriend.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:32 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rosanna-hope View Post
    why would they be in school or work when its;
    a) august bank holiday
    b) summer holidays

    yeah, they may be what a kid would make but i dont think parents are understanding the frustration, you can say they went through it before - some do, some dont! what happens to "expect the worst, hope for the best and never be dissapointed"?


    Um... do you really believe what you just said... I mean really? Do you think you alone are unique in the world, and nobody else has ever had that thought, and nobody knows more than you do? At 15 where did you gather this insight into what adults know and don't know?

    If you expect the worst... you don't go into a situation where you are open to exploitation, exactly like this. And the "expect the worst, hope for the best and never be dissapointed" is naïve at its best... and at its worst dangerously delusional. Someone slips you a roofie... and you are passed out... getting gang raped or worse... you are going to do what to stop it. Or worse... a few stoners decide you are going to have sex with them and overpower you and do it against your will while you are wide awake, you think everyone around you will stop them? Sad reality is you can count on nobody. Many will just watch... a few might join in with them... but precious few would stick their necks out and risk their well being against a group of people.

    I mean... thats not the only thing either... you might disappear, be someone's sex toy tied up in a shed before they tire of you and kill you.

    That has happened recently at a Metallica concert... Google up Morgan Harrington read a few of the stories, and it was just a single concert she went to... they recently found her remains. And she was older and more mature than you are.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:39 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    If she is staying in the tent with you at night, there isn't that much difference.

    You seem to have some underlying belief that once you are in your tent nothing can happen. Please, think again. At night, in the dark, in a tent, asleep, you are at your most vulnerable.

    If her sister isn't going to be staying with her, I don't think it's a very good idea. What do you think?
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:39 AM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rosanna-hope View Post
    you lock your tents at night, my sister wouldnt be staying with me and my girlfriends as shes going with her boyfriend.

    The sides of a tent are the vulnerable point not the entrance.

    So, she is going to be playing games with her boyfriend instead of making certain her little sister is safe.

    She lost what little confidence I had in her being a chaperon.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:40 AM
    rosanna-hope

    Yeah she was older then I am, showing it can happen to anyone - dangerous acts are in fact more likely to happen to males aged between 15-24 then they are to women in the UK. There are security guard posts all over at the festival and wed be near one of those, if you're caught on drugs or are seen as a danger to other people you're automatically taken out of that area.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:40 AM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    If her sister isn't going to be staying with her, I don't think it's a very good idea. What do you think?

    I think it is the worst idea ever.
  • Feb 15, 2010, 09:41 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    The sides of a tent are the vulnerable point not the entrance.

    So, she is going to be playing games with her boyfriend instead of making certain her little sister is safe.

    She lost what little confidence I had in her being a chaperon.

    You answered my question Cat. I agree.

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