A few minutes ago, he came in after reading the first chapter and was very open for discussing what he had read. I was delighted. We talked about the stories and the excuses and the effects of the abuser's manipulation and violence.

I don't know if what he read made any real difference this early in, but he is cooperative now.

When you say I am the motivator, please elaborate.

I will be seeking a therapist with knowledge of the skills you have indicated. I will also read up on them myself.

The one thing I know right now is that I am the last person he seems to want help from. I am just doing what I can to help him see how violence and abusive language is hurtful and solves no problems but creates more. Even though he may act like he is not listening, I know he is picking up some of the things I am saying.

He is also very intelligent about psychology. Like abusers he knows how to manipulate things to keep from facing the truth about his own behaviors. Sometimes he says he could care less if I get hurt and wishes I would die. Wow! That hurt like hell.

However, for the moment everything is calm.

That is really awesome to hear. That book you provided has made an impact.

What I mean by you being the motivator, is simply to just encourage him. Maybe it didn't even need to be said, but when he starts with a therapist, and he knows you will be there for him and cheer him on, he will be more successful.

Here is a brief outline to give you some idea:

Brief counselling

I searched and found a book I had on it, but it was purchased as a text at the college I attended. But, if you're interested, there is now a second edition.

The authors are Windy Dryden and colin Feltham. The book can be purchased.

Brief counselling: a practical ... - Google Books

I have studied and used this therapy for some time now, mostly with young offenders. Once you get rolling, if I can help, let me know.