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-   -   Is this abusive (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=31238)

  • Mar 5, 2007, 06:07 PM
    bellatwo
    Since you gave specific examples of your fathers behavior, and then asked "is this abusive," I wish to answer your question. Yes, you are being emotionally and psychologically abused. A few examples of emotional and psychological abuse are as follows: Gives little thought for your feelings, behaves in a threatening and/or manipulative manner. Continually criticizes, ridicules, and insults you. Regularly threatens to leave you or tells you to leave. Withholds approval, appreciation, and affection.

    Brad21, please know you did nothing to deserve this, it is not your fault, you are not to blame, you are the victim. You cannot fix your father, and little you do will. You can seek professional help to repair the damage he has done to you.


  • Mar 5, 2007, 06:10 PM
    bellatwo
    I have no clue what I just hit, which precipitated the , I apologize for the distraction.
  • Jul 1, 2007, 04:53 PM
    stonewilder
    My mother was the same way. There is no magic answer on how to get over this. You need to know it's not your fault. I went to counseling after my mother died because I felt guilty that I didn't morn her passing but was rather happy there would be no more drama. It wasn't until I started going to counseling and opening up about all the things she had done that I realized how much pain I was really in and how it was unknowingly affecting my life and relationships. I never knew or thought about my mother being abusive till the counselor told me it was. All I ever wanted was to hear my mother just once tell me she was proud of me even for the littlest thing and I think that bothered me more than anything. I realized later that even if she had ever said she was proud of me it wouldn't have really meant much coming from her of all people. Get some counseling. You may feel drain and even sick your first few sections but don't give up on it. It will help to get it all out.
  • Jul 26, 2007, 10:08 AM
    tamieko2
    You are of age, I suggest if you don't have a job, get one and move out! My dad was the same way and even though I am 30 yrs. Old he still has the ability to make me feel like I am 12, I left, I visit on occasion but my contact is very limited, he is so negetive and verbally abusive I can't deal with him. He is always saying bad stuff about my mom and telling me I remind him of her. His problems are not yours they are his, let him deal with them on his own.

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