I wish you luck!! It's so refreshing to see that a mother and her daughter and boyfriend can have such open discussions these days. More parents should be like you.

Thank you for your help. I was never close with my mother, and I didn't want to be like that with my child. So when I had a dughter I did all I could to be home with her and giver her all the attention she needed. We are really close now. And I just love her boyfriend to death, he is such a gentalman

I'm so happy to hear this. I am the same with my daughter. You are a good Mom... I'm sure they will take what you say to heart.

But, just in case, why don't you take her to get on some form of birth control.

Thank you Miss. I will let the chose be up to her.

Ah, you don't have to call me Miss... J will be fine!! ;)

OK J. thanks for your help. I think these kids will do better. I thought I would ask since I didn't want either being in trouble. He just turned 18 today and she won't be 18 till April of 2010 (I know it sounds like 2 years apart but they really aren't. Only a year and a half).

Just because he's 18 doesn't mean anything. I've dated a 17 year old when I was 15 years old. It's the same age diff and no one started calling the cops about that lol no but really enless he's pushing her into something she doesn't want to do it is legal. My mom married my dad and he is 8 years older! Its always hard to hear your daughter is having sex with anyone but in this case it is legal don't worry!

Actually it is not legal for them for them to have sex but they can date. The legal age of consent in her age is 18 so if anyone 18 years or older engage in any sexual activity with her 16 year old daughter they can go to jail and be label as a sex offender for life.

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Originally Posted by Troubled_Girl

Just because hes 18 doesnt mean anything. ive dated a 17 year old when i was 15 years old. its the same age diff and no one started calling the cops about that lol no but really enless hes pushing her into something she doesnt want to do it is legal. my mom married my dad and he is 8 years older! its always hard to hear your daughter is having sex with anyone but in this case it is legal dont worry!

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Guess you better check out this website...

A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states

There are no laws that govern dating anywhere I know of. I agree with you that the age difference is not too great and I see no problem in these two dating.

But you NEED to impress upon both of them that their engaging in sexual relations IS illegal in your state. He can be prosecuted whether you press charges or not. He could wind up with jail time and a sex offender charge hanging over his head.

Wow, very good parenting. It is good to see that this was already resolved, but I just had to compliment you on your parental skills! I am 16, male, and this is nice to see. I have a fairly open relationship with my parents as well, and it makes life so much easier for me and my parents. Just basically wanted to say good job, so good job! Thank you!

Still, make sure you inform them of the legal risks. ScottGem is right, and a sex offender charge would make life much more difficult for your daughters boyfriend. Its too bad, but unfortunately, it is law.

Actually all these people are right it is statutory rape. But really unless you have a problem with these two dating then leave it alone I think if they love each other and you like the guy then nothing is wrong with that as long as no one reports it. True love has no age limits

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Originally Posted by XRawrX69

actually all these people are right it is statutory rape. But really unless you have a problem with these two dating then leave it alone i think if they love each other and you like the guy then nothing is wrong with that as long as no one reports it. True love has no age limits

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That is so idealistic and so ridiculous I had to respond to it. So you believe that a 14 yr old can feel "true love" for a 24 yr old? Or vice versa? Give me a break!

You are correct that, since the age of consent for TN is 18 that for them to engage in sexual relations would be statutory rape. However, your advice to leave it alone is off base. The boy is risking jail and a lifetime designation as a sex offender. They are also risking having their futures sidetracked by an unwanted pregnancy. So no, leave it alone is not good advice In my opinion.

The fact is that once a teen has sex they will continue to do so. More so if they are both enjoying it. They might cut drastically down on how much they have but I don't think they will stop completely.

A year and a half is a long time for an 18 year old boy, but I would love to see him prove me wrong!

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

That is so idealistic and so ridiculous I had to respond to it. So you beleive that a 14 yr old can feel "true love" for a 24 yr old? Or vice versa? Give me a break!

You are correct that, since the age of consent for TN is 18 that for them to engage in sexual relations would be statutory rape. However, your advice to leave it alone is off base. The boy is risking jail and a lifetime designation as a sex offender. They are also risking having their futures sidetracked by an unwanted pregnancy. So no, leave it alone is not good advice IMHO.

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Okay well 1; I said that she should let them be together I never said she should let them have sex. 2; before they even had numbers I bet older guys and younger girls or even younger guys and older girls were together. 3; If the are having protected sex she won't get pregnant! Oh and 4; he won't get jail time or be a registered sex offender if no one reports him. And the 14 year old and 24 year old thing is outrageous she's 16 and he's 18.

Dating is not illegal! Friendship is not illegal! Sexually touching one another yes... oh and by the way.. if you know about it... you are just as liable as the guy

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Originally Posted by XRawrX69

Okay well 1; i said that she should let them be together i never said she should let them have sex. 2; before they even had numbers i bet older guys and younger girls or even younger guys and older girls were together. 3; If the are having protected sex she won't get pregnant! Oh and 4; he won't get jail time or be a registered sex offender if no one reports him. And the 14 year old and 24 year old thing is outrageous she's 16 and he's 18.

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1) What you actually said was; "unless you have a problem with these two dating then leave it alone". That infers letting them continue as they are.
2) Different times had vastly different standards on thises things. As recently as the 19th century, when life spans were a lot shorter and children were required to grow up a lot quicker, the mores were different. But we aren't talking about prehistoric times or over 100 years ago. We are talking about now!
3) Oh really? You know of a 100% effective form of birth control (other than abstention)? If so, please share it with us.
4) True, but if someone does report him or she gets pregnant, then he's in big trouble.
4a) yes, the 14-24 was an extreme example. But what YOU said was; "True love has no age limits". So now you admit that's a ridiculous statement because there are limits.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

1) What you actually said was; "unless you have a problem with these two dating then leave it alone". That infers letting them continue as they are.
2) Different time periods had vastly different standards on thises things. As recently as the 19th century, when life spans were a lot shorter and children were required to grow up a lot quicker, the mores were different. But we aren't talking about prehistoric times or over 100 years ago. We are talking about now!
3) Oh really? You know of a 100% effective form of birth control (other than abstention)? If so, please share it with us.
4) True, but if someone does report him or she gets pregnant, then he's in big trouble.
4a) yes, the 14-24 was an extreme example. But what YOU said was; "True love has no age limits". So now you admit that's a rediculous statement because there are limits.

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1.Yeah but I never said anything about the sex part. And even if she tried to stop it they probably wouldn't stop.
2.Dude I know were talking about now what I was trying to say was what's the difference and who's to say that a mature person is in love or not no matter how old they are because a lot of OLDER guys are more mature than the YOUNGER ones.
3.Umm there's also condoms and birth control so there's little chance of pregnancy. Every teenager is at risk of getting pregnant no matter if their boyfriend is 16 or 18.
4.I don't think there should be limits. Okay 14 to 24 is big but whatever a lot of people 8 years or 10 years apart get married and I also meant in this situation true love shouldn't be a limit maybe I should have made it more clear.

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Originally Posted by XRawrX69

1.Yeah but i never said anything about the sex part. And even if she tried to stop it they probablly wouldn't stop.
2.Dude i know were talking about now what i was trying to say was what's the difference and who's to say that a mature person is in love or not no matter how old they are because a lot of OLDER guys are more mature than the YOUNGER ones.
3.Umm there's also condoms and birth control so there's little chance of pregnancy. Every teenager is at risk of getting pregnant no matter if their boyfriend is 16 or 18.
4.I don't think there should be limits. Okay 14 to 24 is big but whatever a lot of people 8 years or 10 years apart get married and i also ment in this situation true love shouldn't be a limit maybe i should have made it more clear.

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1. That's right you never said ANYTHING about the sex part. But, again, since the OP mentioned and you told her to leave it alone, the inference was to leave that part alone too.
2. umm Duh, usually with age comes greater maturity. But you are missing the point. Age does matter. As both parties get older it matters less and less. I have no problem with the age difference here, but the law in their state does have a problem with them having sexual relations.
3. Um no, only teens who engage in sexual relations risk getting pregnant. And again, I go back to what you actually said; "If the are having protected sex she won't get pregnant!". You didn't say she probablywon't get pregnant or she's unlikely to get pregnant, you said she "won't" get pregnant.
4. You can't have it both ways. You can't think there shouldn't be a limit but then say that 14-24 is big. I don't see a problem with a 34-44, but when the difference involes an adult and a minor there is usually a big problem.

Yeah, you should be more clear. That's the problem here. You aren't carefully considering what you post. You are making statements that make you look foolish and then compounding the problem by trying to defend them.

I don't think it matters if its illegal unless you plan on turning him in. I mean, who's going to find out they're having sex? And then who's going to take it to the cops?