I have two children, 11 yo girl, 2yo boy. My daughter almost never got a spanking, I think I can count on both hands all the times before now. My son however, is much less mature than she was at the same age. He has no impulse control as of yet and does what he wants when he wants, but he's 2. He does get a swat for doing something he's been told over and over and over and over not to do. Like turning the dishwasher on, pulling the cats tail, turning on the computer, whatever. It works for a few hours, or the rest of the day, then he's right back at it. I think it depends on the temperament of the child too. She's 11 and as big as I am, spanking just isn't going to work anymore. I do think it is acceptable for children to be somewhat afraid of their parents. We are the caregivers and the lawgivers, respect goes hand in hand with a little fear.