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-   -   How do I talk to my 10 year old about her menstration (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=174599)

  • Jan 28, 2008, 07:49 AM
    KISS
    There is so many spelling errors on this site, even from the experts. Firefox, I think, will tell me I have something misspelled, but it doesn't offer suggestions. I'm trying better to be succinct and clear and this site is helping. Being to the point and concise is difficult.
  • Jan 29, 2008, 09:27 AM
    lacuran8626
    OK... kind of a nasty response to a thoughtful question. I wouldn't expect to have to tell my 10 year old daughter about sex yet... I mean, that's young. However, my understanding is that a lot of girls are hitting puberty earlier than their mothers, so it's nothing to be concerned about first of all.

    Here is my suggestion for workign with your daughter:

    First, let her know that all girls go through this and it's a step toward becoming a grown woman and part of her body getting ready to have a baby if she wants to at the right time when she marries one day.

    Second, let her know that it's something that a lot of people find embarrassing, including you, to talk about because years ago, people thought everything about their bodies was kind of secret and shameful. Let her know how fortunate she is to grow up at a time when people are a lot more open and mature about these things, and as a result, able to get their questions answered.

    Third, tell her the practical stuff first. Kids are really concrete about things. Imagine what her worries are and solve them for her with practical solutions. Tell her how to use a tampon and a pad, explain how to shop for them. Have her doctor or nurse explain to her what is normal flow and what requires her to see the doctor.

    Get her a variety of different pads and tampons and let her try them. Tehn supply her with what she likes to use. She may not like what you want her to use, and it's a stupid thing to force on her. Let her choose.

    She will be embarrassed to buy them for a few years - get them for her.

    Make sure she understands she can still do sports and swim and whatever else.

    Don't treat her period like an illness. Let her know that it can be uncomfortable, figure out what type of discomfort or cramps or whatever she might experience and work with her doctor to come up with a plan so that it's not a free pass out of gym class and life in general. On the other hand, have some sensitivity and be caring if she has cramps, etc.

    Make sure to explain to her that growing up is a process, and that while people say sometimes that this means she is now a "woman" that you feel she's still a young girl. It will be a long time before she is a woman, but just like getting taller, this is one way that she is moving in that direction. 10 is very young and she should still have a life of barbies and birthday parties.

    If you do anything to mark the occasion, I would suggest you do some girl thing, one on one. Don't make it a big thing and don't tell other people - she'll be absolutey mortified. Let her have her privacy. Maybe take her for lunch and let her pick out something she wants - an outfit or a toy... what she wants, within reason.

    And get her some books. Are you there God, it's me Margaret was the bible for pubescent girls when I was young, and I have a feeling it would still be a good one. Also talk to the school nurse privately and get her advise. As her for some statistics so you can tell your daughter, for example, "you know, out of every four girls at your school, 1 is going through the same changes as you, but they want to keep it private, too. You are not by far the only one, and within a year to three years, they will all go through the same thing".
  • Jan 11, 2010, 01:45 PM
    tbedan38

    Im glad to find this question, almost like I asked it myself! Same thing with my 10yr. Old. And don't give it another thought about your grammar that was not the issue your child is. Obviously someone who's mama didn't give a you know what! People like that shouldn't get under your skin. When you find a good learning tool on this issue let me know!

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